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Okay so, I have been dating this girl for a year and a half now and everything has been going great. In september she left for university and we ended up starting a long distance relationship. Things were fine because i was able to take the train to go visit her so that really wasn't an issue. We saw each other at least every two weeks which is better than most long distance relationships. The day she finally is done her exams and comes home....she decides that she wants to break up. The thing i just don't understand is why. I have gone over it hundreds of times in my head. There were literally no signs at all and this just comes out of nowhere. It's been 3 weeks of no contact so far and its beginning to bother me becuz i can't sleep at all because i find myself thinking about her all the time. Should I attempt to talk to her for closure or just continue what i've been doing?
I agree that no explaination is necessary in these circumstances. In fact, it may be a very good thing she did not mention why. It's pretty safe to assume that no explaination will be a good one, eithershe lies tomake you feel better (she could pick one out of thousands we've all commonly heard) or be brutally honest (your probably going to come up in that conversation and it may vert well hurt).
As for being owed an explaination, I don't think so really. It's her life, she need not explain herself to anyone really. It can be viewed as a rude thing to do but most certainly you are not entitled to tell her what to do.
Sorry if this sounds harsh. It is by no means lost on me how hard stuff like this is, but looking for answers and trying to solve puzzlesis a waste of time at this stage and any stage really. Not so important why she left but that she left, what are you going to do about it in terms of moving on that is really important stuff.
I am not a relationship expert, but a healthcare expert, and you read me wrong if you thought I said your opinion was immature; I saw your opinion as coming from a mature individual,well written and indicating you have been around the block too. I also read you as a little bitter, now I know why..You think I am immature, I am not, at 66, no dont think so. Been around the block a few times so thats why I think he needs closure. Your are entitled to yours, I am entitled to mine. I know this is the real world, god yes, I know that, over and over.
Yes, I think if she had said 'I dont care for you anymore'. As I see it, that is closure for him.
ms. tickle
I understand we are entitled to our opinion, and I believe I may have lacked some tact in response to your earlier response to my post, so for that I apologize. I respect your position and opinion on this board.
For the record I believe the only thing I am "bitter" about is how I handled myself throughout the turbulent break up I had. I am not bitter about what the ex did, or didn't say or do to me. That stuff is what it is. I just think I should and could of handled myself differently. That is why I caution people on this board from making the same silly mistakes I did. Thanks for the debate! As stated before, I know you are a valued member of this board and you have a highly regarded opinion to share as advice to others.
kctiger - You said it perfectly but I gotta spead rep around.
ONe of the main reasons for giving advice on these boards is so that people with questions such as these do not end up doing the things most of us have done before. It may sound harsh but the alternative is worse. MAny times i would love to go back and change the way I acted but didn't listen, i should have listened and hope newer members here will.
One time I sent an ex flowers?!?!? Get a life BMI......SERIOUSLY!
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