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teastalk · Jan 19, 2009, 06:20 PM

This is the situation: My boyfriend would attend weekly church meetings. I would also attend weekly church meetings. However, we both went to different churches and therefore went to different meetings before we met. However, after we were in a relationship I wanted to go to the meetings sponsored by his church because I know the people that go to his church, and I also wanted to attend meetings with him. I spoke to him about this. I told him that I wanted to go to his meetings. He said that I shouldn't. I asked him why. He said that the topics wouldn't be interesting to me. I said that I just wanted to hang out with some of the other people that I know and also to see him. He told me that the people that I usually hang out with don't attend the church meetings that often. After that I gave up on going to the weekly meeting that he attends because I didn't want to argue about it.

Lowtax4eva · Jan 19, 2009, 06:52 PM

It depends, how much do you see each other? Everyone wants some alone time and time apart from their girlfriend/boyfriend... maybe he talks about your relationship at these meetings from time to time and wants to be able to have people to talk to about these things when you are not there.

teastalk · Jan 19, 2009, 10:37 PM

Hm, it was about once a week for a couple of hours that we saw each other.

ISneezeFunny · Jan 19, 2009, 10:54 PM

I somewhat understand your boyfriend in this situation. For me, it wasn't so much church but volunteering activities and the gym. This girl I once dated wanted to volunteer with me, as well as start going to the gym with me, however, as lowtax4eva stated, it was ME time.

A good reason also stated by lowtax4eva may be that he perhaps talks about you to the church members, and I don't mean in a bad way, but simply, talks about you, and doesn't want the church members to actually meet you in that setting.

plonak · Jan 19, 2009, 11:02 PM

I agree with the other posters..

A healthy relationship is one where both members are independent and can do things outside their relationship..

If you did everything with each other 24/7 what would you two have to talk about?

Give him his free time away.. I'm sure you want some of your alone time as well!

NorthernNiceGuy · Jan 20, 2009, 02:38 AM

I agree with everyone here...

Its hard not to take offense to something like this but if he is anything like myself he likes to have activities that are just for him... Its healthy for people in relationships to remain individuals even when they are a couple.

However, if he makes this a habit for other things I would take notice. While you shouldn't have to include your significant other in everything you do, you shouldn't want to leave them out of everything either.