Would it be rude not to attend party?

grammadidi · Jun 26, 2007, 11:08 PM

I think that if the person who is turning 40 is a good friend then you should go. As far as the former friend... No, don't get drunk. Carry yourself well, smile and nod and move on. There is no reason to "deal" with anything. Act like a mature adult and get this over with. It sounds like you are holding in pain and anger. You might want to figure out some ways of learning how to deal with that before the party! I think your husband is correct, though. It would be rude not to attend. Or perhaps you really just aren't a good friend?

Didi

Rockabilly1955mama · Jun 26, 2007, 11:38 PM

If the person who is turning 40 is your good friend, you should go and be apart of the surprise. Don't mind the other former friend of yours. If you run into her, do what Didi said, act like a mature adult and carry yourself well. Hold your head up high. You never know you might actually get along with this person. It does seem as if there is some tension or anger built up between you two for years. She/he might have learn to forgive and forget that situation. What ever happens, I wish the best of luck to you.

Clough · Jun 27, 2007, 01:25 AM

Turning 40 for your friend will not happen again. It is an opportunity that you have to share in the celebration. Attend the party for the sake of your friend. Who cares who else is there? You don't have to speak with your former friend. Just avoid her if you need to. But, this may be an opportunity to become friends again.

I have broken up with a number of friends over the years and then gotten back together as friends. This may be just the situation to make up and be friends. You never know what will happen until you try.

But, none-the-less, I would still attend the birthday party.

I also agree with the answers that have been given above this one.

nicespringgirl · Jun 27, 2007, 05:18 AM

I don't think it's rude, but I want to tell you something about my real life.
I was invited to party many times before, then I said no no no every time. Now people don't ask me any more, I am glad.
So it's up to you, if you expect people leave you alone...that's fine to say no.
But remember after you 've said several times, you problly won't get a chance to be invited.
Thanks.

incognito · Jun 27, 2007, 05:38 AM

Don't let your former friend ruin your current friendships, it will just end up being a vicious cycle that you can't stop.

kristynn · Jun 27, 2007, 05:43 AM

You have NO real good reason not to go, so I think you should go and deal with anything you would have to deal with. You can do it!

You should go!

Have fun, but don't get drunk and be irresponsible!

talaniman · Jun 27, 2007, 05:56 AM

Not to enjoy yourself because of one person makes no sense. Go and have fun with everyone else. No don't get drunk.

Tallarin · Jun 27, 2007, 08:37 AM

Thanks everyone! If it was a HUGE party this wouldn't be a problem, but technically there's only 10 of us. The birthday person and my former friend have been friends for 20 years, so they have more history than we do (but oddly enough, in the past three years my former friend and I were closer than those two ever were).
It's just mind boggling that last week I get a present and a phone call from my former friend, we played phone tag and now she's once again ignoring my phone calls. There's a saying in Mexico "either pitch, catch, or get off the mound", I wish she'd just get off my life's mound

. She made overtures to rebuild and then ran... What's up with that? (read my other post...)
The main reason to go to the party would be to see the birthday person's face because she was ADAMANT about no parties

talaniman · Jun 27, 2007, 09:20 AM

I remember your other post very well, and its time to let the BS go and accept people for what they are. Its you letting her live rent free in your head, and now it controls your life to the extent you can't celebrate with others who are your friends also. LET IT GO, live and let live.

Would it be rude not to attend party?

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