I just had my baby boy last month and my baby's father informed me last week that his current girlfriend is 4 months pregnant. I broke up with him while pregnant. I really didn't have a solid reason for doing so. I think it was the raging hormones. In the meantime, he went and got a girlfriend and I gave a man who had been chasing me for 3 years a chance because he was there for me. Now my baby's father is saying he wants to be back with me and he made a mistake by getting his current girlfriend pregnant. I really love my baby's father. I care about my current boyfriend, but I know that it took him so long to get me because I really didn't want to be romantically involved with him. He was just there when I needed him most. My baby daddy had to work a lot when I was pregnant and couldn't be there like I wanted, but it wasn't his fault. I told my current boyfriend my feelings and we are currently not together. My baby's father is saying that he doesn't want to leave his current girlfriend while she is pregnant, but he wants to be with me. He just doesn't know how to break the news to her. I know that she will be hurt, but if he really wants to be with me, I think he should tell her the truth instead of leading her on. On the other hand, he shouldn't have put himself in this situation in the first place. Is it worth trying to work things out with him or should I just move on?

Haplo

I 100% agree as well, Chuff. I don't see how the father 'put himself into this situation' when he was dumped, and it slightly annoys me that everyone is beating on him for it. He was dumped by his pregnant girl, which probably hurt him tremendously and so he went out and tried to move on. Now you want him back. You can blame the raging hormones if you want, and I do have sympathy for you and the situation, but blaming him is just a cop out. You instigated the course of actions that led you here.

What to do about it? Frankly, sadly, I think it's a bit out of control. Now the actions have involved another 2 people who will now be hurt and 1 person that already has been. (The new girlfriend, her baby, and the now-ex boyfriend). There's no clean way out of this one.

The only part from the 'bash-the-man' posts above that I actually agree with is:


I feel bad for the man that chased you for 3 years. He had something genuine for you.

Ash123

THIS WHOLE SITUATION SEEMS CHAOTIC.

2 pregnancies, 4 people, lots of shifting moods. Addresses....
I really think that everyone should stand pat and get their lives together
before shuffling the deck again. Their are two kids coming into the world that may not
have stable homes to live in. Whatever happens it should be for the long haul (single, together, married) or else...So, dig deep and TALK TO EACHOTHER even more than us and create stable homes....

lotsoflove

How am I disrupting his life when he is the one that wants me back?

Ash123

You are not disrupting his life per se. All lives are interrupted at this point.

But "wanting you back" may not solve all the chaos right now.
So, he jumps to you - then what? Would you all survive? He leaves his now-pregnant
Girlfriend? Is anyone married? Or formerly married? I think that would be good to come first...Since that is sort of not happening at this point - I think it's best to get your respective lives, bills, health, houses in order then evaluate if you are ready for what's next.

Haplo

You made it pretty clear that you want him back too... so you're involved as well. Remember, you dumped him! He didn't dump you, of course he wants you back, he never wanted to lose you in the first place!

talaniman

If all of you put as much into raising the children, as you do with the sleeping arrangements, there should be a couple of happy children in the world.