Hey everyone! So far I've read alot of good advice on this forum that has helped me a hell of alot with my breakup. With out reading other peoples stories, advice and opinions I would probably go insane. I think it's time though that I share and see what you guys think! 
So my names matt, I'm 20 years old and live in Florida. I've been dating this amazing girl named Lisa for nearly 2 years untill things fell apart. Basicly my senior year of high school I would see her around school all the time and thought she was the most beautiful girl there, but I never thought I would have a chance. Then I started dating her best friend. Long story short I ended things with her friend and started talking to Lisa about it. She then told
Me she had been crushing on me for along time too! And things just fell into place. It was love at first sight and we shared a connection i've never felt with anyone. She told me I was her first true love and she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. She asked me to please marry her someday and even picked out the ring she wanted. We saw each other every single day and where best friends and so in love. We had the most amazing sex life. She told me I was the only guy she ever enjoyed sex with and that with other boyfriends she would almost dread having too and only did it to please them. But with me she looked forward to it. I'm the only guy that ever gave her an orgasm and she said the only guy that it felt good with and didn't hurt her. She was always the one that was way more emotional and loving tho. She was basicly obbsessed with me and needed to be with me everyday. She used to cut her self and take lots of anti-depressents and throw up her food. Once we started dating I made her so happy and made her feel so good about her self that she stopped taking her meds, only cut when we fought, and stopped throwing up. Things where so perfect and so strong up untill I moved out of my parents house. I got my own place and was under alot of stress. I started to take it out on her, wasn't as loving and affectionate, didn't take her out as much because money was right and we started to fight alot. We would break up every other week, either me leaving her or her leaving me. Most of the time she left me and I would be the one to fight for her and fix it and make all these promises that things would get better. Then the cycle started over, tension rose, we would have a huge fight and break up! Sometimes I left her and a few times she fought for me and begged me to stay but mostly even if I said I was done and it's over I would have to chase her and fix it even tho I wanted to leave due to her started problems. We both came to a point where we took breaking up so lightly and took each other for granted. I thought she would never leave ever. Finally the last week we where together we got into a big fight and she said "I'm done, I can't do this we are over" so I said fine it and shut off my phone. She then called me 120 times from 12am-2:30am and left me voice mails saying and I quote "matt I'm so sorry I said what I said, you know when I'm mad I say and do things I don't mean, I love you more than anything in the entire world and I don't want to loose you now or ever, please take me back and forgive me. We can work threw this and I want to be with you forever". So I finally called back and she kissed my abit and I said ok.. Come over tomorrow and we will talk. So she did and she said "matt I love you, your my entire world and I can't live with out you, your my best friend and my lover, we can get threw anything and I want to be with you forever, thank you for taking me back I promise you won't regret it". Ok so things where good for 3 days then she went to the mall with some friends and her girlfriend's boyfriend had a friend with him. No big deal except that when she came over she was being all y =\ and we started fighting so I broke up with her! And I hung up. She never called back or texted me. I waited the entire next day, nothing. So finally the day after I went to her house and she said matt I'm done. I love you but I can't do this anymore. The night u dumped me the guy from the mall got my number from my fiend and called me and we talked all night and he said I don't deserve ur bull and made me feel so good about my self. I'm going out with him tomorrow night. I'm sorry. I was shocked! Well I left her alone for a couple days but then I couldn't handle it and tried to get her back by bringing her flowers at school. She cried, kissed me but turned me down and dropped the bomb that she got drunk and gave him a blowjob =\ so I said this and you. Have a nice life. 5 days go by with out talking at all. And then last night she calls me and says that he took her to universal but she felt so akward. It didn't feel right at all. No matter how nice he is or what he does for her it isn't the same and she feels like it should be me. She's still in love with me and misses me so much and that she almost told him to just take her home in the middle of being there. She told me everything I need to change and fix to be with her again and said that she honestly doesn't have feelings for him. He is fun to hang with but only as friends. And that when they went to the hotel she cried in the shower and he tried to have sex with her and she turned him down and he asked her out and she said no. She said thinking about sexual things with him make her sick to her stomache and it isn't the same and she will never fall in love with him and confused. Her heart says come back to me but she's scared she will just hurt again and she agreed to let me take her out tonight. Good phone call =] I was so happy. Well today I called her and it was completely opposite. No I can't be with you. Our relationships unhealthy. It's not good for me ect. I love you but I can't come back to you. I don't believe u will change you said it a million times before. We need more time apart. You need to get ur together. I'm trying to hard not to love you anymore but it's not working. I wake up everyday and say please like this guy he is so good for me. Going back to matt would be a mistake but I love him and I'm so confused. And she asked me to wait till she can figure out what she wants. She said if u could be as nice as this guy, treat me better, take me out and take care of me I would be with you in a heart beat and have no second thought about Tommy. But I'm scared you will hurt me again and I will ruin what I have with tommy for nothing. I love you and I always will. I need to figure out if I can go out with other guys and not have feelings for them and know if we are meant to be and know you wil wait and really change if u really love me. This really pissed me off cuz she keeps flipping how she feels agh. It is tearing my heart apart. So I said Lisa forget it. Don't be confused. Go be with him he makes you happy and is perfect for you. I'm not going to try this hard for nothing. Your hurting me too much and this isn't fair. You will never fall for this guy and realise you made a huge mistake. I hope your happy having to fake feelings with him just cuz he spends money on you. Have a nice life. Click. Then she texts me and says wow it's done. We can never go back. I'll never be with you again. Don't ever call me again or text me. And I haven't. But... I still want her. I want to be with her and I want her to come back but I can't keep hurting my self and making all this effort and get treated like this =\ what should I do? What's the best bet to get her to want me back? And get her to realise what a mistake she made without begging her or making anymore effort. I want to be with her for sure. I love her and want to marry her but I need her to call me or show up here and make the effort you know? I know her feelings for me are sti there. I know she wants to come back but thinks it's best that she doesn't. So how do I show her I can change and traa her better? Just basicly how the f to get her to be with me again ???? Or should i just move on and let her go? t's killing me so bad. Thanks for listening. I can't wait to hear your opinions =]

High Max

I appologize for this, but this girl apparently has some mental issues. I didn't read everything because I didn't have to. This "I love you" one second and "We cant be together" the next minute is rediculous, immature and absolutely nuts. I think she is a bit of a nut and you'd do well to try and move on and not pursue this relationship further. I know she is hot and sexy, but looks only get you so far.

Justwantfair

You are accepting blame because you miss what you thought of her, who you thought she was. You do not have a clear picture... out here where the emotional dust is clear, this girl is taking you for a spin and you are accepting the responsibilty for her unstable behavior.

I haven't read one post that leads me to believe that you are not good for her. You are stressed moving into trying to be a stable adult, so you can't afford to wine and dine her, but that is not love. She hurts in your relationship because she hurts without self esteem and with a codependency issue.

You have to break the cycle of dysfunction, for your own good.

Cat1864

The problem is she isn't in love with either of you or herself.

If she were she would have more respect for one of you to make a clean break with the other. She has absolutely no respect for herself or she wouldn't be playmate hopping.

She won't get better until both you and the other person make her accountable for her actions. Until then she is going to keep playing games that will end up with someone getting extremely hurt. At this moment, I would say 'you'.

All you are doing is encouraging her behavior and aiding her in not facing up to reality.

That isn't helping you either. Right now you are the human equivalent of the Leaning Tower of Pisa's foundation. Your trying to support her and all of her baggage and sinking deeper down in the unstable ground every day. There is only so much outside support can help because it wasn't properly planned out in the first place.

asking

I agree. Two mentally unhealthy people does not a good relationship make.

Shifty, you cannot make a healthy relationship with her. You have established too many really bad habitual interactions--breaking up every time you have a fight, abusive language hurled at one another...jealousy, lack of trust, and more. You need to let go of her and stop even thinking about trying to get her back. Go no contact. She's right about that.

All three of you need counseling and some serious maturing before any of you has a relationship again. Six-month Time Out at least...