am in a relationship for aa year now.everything has been going well,till i found out that when my boyfriend went to visit nigeria last christmas,heb got a girl pregnant.my whole world crashed.i have exams coming up soon and i want to call it off.am still in shock.i just found out 3days ago.i need help,am confused.he admitted and said sorry,that he cnt ask the girl to take the child away been his first child,bt i ve had 2 miscarriages for him.the girl leaves in america and we both leave in holland,bt still i dnt know how to forgive him,i cnt forget,i cnt sleep nor eat.i keep on crying.he does talk abt it and he doesnt want me tell anyone.i dnt know if he even loves me,i dnt know anything.

nickshehe

Ok for starters you need to calm down or you won't resolve anything...
When you say your boyfriend went to nigeria last christmas and got a girl pregnant I'm assuming you mean while you two were together?..So he cheated on you..This is your main focus. Yes it's all the more serious considering he left the girl pregnant as well. But he CHEATED on you. You can grow very close to a person in a years time..and I'm sorry about your miscarriages - I imagine it's very difficult for you. But you have to look at the positive side of things in that it's better that this happened sooner than later..now that you know what type of person this man is, it's a GOOD thing you didn't have a child with him..
Don't you feel you deserve better than someone who cheats on you?
At least he was honest. But can you consider what sort of future implications this would cause in your relationship..You need to ask yourself the following questions:

Do you love him enough to forgive him for cheating on you?
Are you emotionally strong enough to accept that he will be father to another child?
Could you cope with him visiting this "woman" that he had a child with in order to be a father to the child?

These are very serious questions that you should think about now..as they may save you a lot of pain in the future.
If you ask me I think you should cut your losses while you're still ahead...Leave him for someone who will truly love you.
I'm sorry :/

liz28

There is never any reason for someone to cheat on someone. It shows lack of loyalty to the person and if you love someone you do your best to try not to them. The question is if the girl did not get pregnant would he have told you? I think but he had to tell you due to the baby but than he told you not to tell anyone, I how long is he going keep it hidden from people.

I know is feeling hurt betrayed and you have every right to feel this way but you need to reconsider your relationship with him. How many other times do you think he will do this or have. Once the trust is gone really nothing else because will always have doubts.

lawanwadee

I know it's hard.. but thanks your lucky star for seeing the 'real' him now.
Imagine if you're married and stuck with 2 kids when this similar situation happens.

Move on.........

mattyamaha_27

Looking back to my own realationship I was not cheated on, but was lied to. My ex was talking to her ex saying bad things about me. Ever since I have not been able to get the trust back 100%. I would say you should decide if you can trust him to not cheat on you. I wish in some ways I walked away right when I found out what she had said about me.

talaniman

He didn't love you enough to be faithful. I really doubt if he is worth crying over, and its a good thing you have found out about him now, rather than later, after you had a marriage, or heaven forbid, a child. Hard as it is, cutting him from your life, and moving on is the best solution for you now. You've had enough pain and misery, and thats what he brings to this relationship. Sorry for your loss, but someone is looking out for you. End the confusion.