I work with a female I dated about 6 months ago ,we began sharing the same break table when we started dating .When the realtionship ended (by my hand) she continued to come back and sit with me .I decided to try again with her because the first time I ended it I was afraid of getting to close which we were .I felt like that she really cared for me because she didnt go sit anywhere else .This break table is isolated and away from everyone else so we are alone .About three months ago I expressed my desire to start over agian ,she said she didn't trust me and that we needed to start by being friends again .I have only been to her house once since that time .The other day our realtionship came up and she said she had no feelings for me because I destroyed them but was halfway smiling when she said that ,I was hurt .I have been super nice trying to win her back .I then ask her why do you sit with me everyday if you have no feelings for me she bumbled through words and couldnt give me an answer ..My question is did she really mean it ?Women say one thing and mean another ...please help

LAB

jrock

Sounds like to me ... personally, she is messing with your head. I might turn the tables alittle bit. Try not to act like you are interested so much. Maybe she will appreciate you more if you are not so "available!" Distance makes the heart grow fonder! Good luck.

chuff

I would say that she's confused. She probably doesn't want to get hurt again so she's testing you to see what your response is when she says she doesn't care. I'd play it safe and just continue what your doing but not making her a focal point of your life. To me it seems if you continue that path she may come around.

jrock39

Thanks Chuff that's what I thought as well ,needed to hear it from an unbiased person.Me personally if I didnt have feelings from someone I would not go around them .I am going to stay the course I do not there is not another person involved ...J

valinors_sorrow

They say we are truer in our actions than we are in our words. But I would be mindful that she is saying one thing and doing another can be how fragile her trust for you really is. Go slow and be consistent this time. She could easily have you written down as being afraid of closeness because of how and when you bailed so you can hardly ask for closeness in return just yet. This will take twice the patience it did the first time. There are no guarantees here. I hope that helps.

yoyolb

From a female perspective, I think she is messing with your head a little. I say cut her off completleyy and see how she acts. Don't be mean, just stop speakign with her at length. Say hello and goodbye and that's it. Her reaction will tell you how she really feels. Trust me, If she feels like her game has backfired, she'll straighten up.

talaniman

She likes you but is being cautious this time and understandably so as you bailed before. I think its you who are confused.

valinors_sorrow

Darned tootin', put her in her place! Show her just how tough guy you are!! That will certainly make her stop playing games since you just now soooo one-upped her by playing a better one. LOL

And if she perhaps isn't playing games, it will make her instantly trust you and do your every bidding --- NOT! Sheesh.

Just be sure to be prepared for a reaction like mine, if she happens to be is a quality person who has been confused by your ambivilent actions.
If you were to do this to me, I would quietly and permenantly close the door forever having labeled you a gamer or a hot head on top of having intimacy issues.

jrock39

So why is it when I ask her out she always makes up an excuse to not go ? Is it that she still doesn't trust me yet? I have waited a while before I ask her out...J

valinors_sorrow

That's her way of making sure this thing goes 5 mph, overly polite though it may be. You might ask her if she'd be willing to give you a sign when asking her out would be appropriate. That way you don't have to keep asking and getting the excuses. She either be willing to do that or she won't.