I have to say Jrock that your case is not as cut and dry as most of the posts on this site. Usually the posts are something like, “My boyfriend cheated on me and had a baby with another woman then I found out he was actually married to yet another woman but I know he loves me so how much longer should I give him to come around?”
What I mean to say is it’s usually cut and dry as far as the truth goes compared to what the original poster thinks. On your situation I’m really fascinated because I’m not sure myself what’s going on. Usually when that’s the case the OP has left something out but I don’t think you have and in fact continue updating us so it’s very intriguing from the outsider point of view. From your view, I’m sure it’s not so intriguing.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by jrock39 The latest ,I think the man above is at work here .It was announced at work Friday the break schedules would change ,This was my chance to see where she stood on breaks .I ask her did she want me to take the same break schedule as her to which she replied "sometimes I think it would be better if we did" she said "there is so much tension between us I feel like we can't just be friends" I said ok its your decision she said " I dunno ". At our second break I told her I would do anything that would make her happy even if it meant sitting apart at breaks and she said "well sometimes it all good and other times you seem to not be able to get past it" I said I am past it it's just that I have bad days and good days and she said "so do I and its hard some days being around you".I am unsure what to do here I think she wants to continue being friends but I am going to leave it up to her ,I am going to tell her that I will take the same break schedule as her and its at her option if she wants to sit with me or not ..What do you guys think ? |
I think this whole thing is either a test or she’s playing with your emotions again. But she is all wishy-washy on her responses to you which leads me to believe that she just wants you to make the decision. To be honest I think you should have anyways. The way you did, and I realize your trying to be a gentleman about it, but the way you did it gave her all the authority and made you look weak. I think you should have told her flat out that “I’m taking break time number 1(or 2 or 3 or whatever one you want)” and then let her decide what she was going to do after that. That gives you’re the power but at the same time doesn’t devalue her in any way. It just lets her know that you’re a man capable of making a decision and sticking to it and she’s going to have to change to it or not follow it. But it gives you a sense of power.
Alright Jrock, your about to get Chuffed.
First before I even start with the post, you’ve got to stop. Just stop and take a deep breathe because your so far gone emotionally that you can’t see what your doing. Your only hurting your cause. To be blunt your acting like a woman and women want men not other women. Let me explain…..
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by jrock39 Tomorrow I am going to talk to her ,even though she says its over I feel like I owe her an explanation as to why I left in the first place which I have explained many times over. |
Stop right there. DO NOT DO THIS! You’ve already explained yourself. That’s more than most people get after a break up. You were a gentleman and explained why. You went above and beyond and I’m not going to take that from you. But every subsequent time you explained the breakup you have devalued your “manhood.” By that I mean you start talking about your emotions like other she would with her other girlfriends. You’ve slowly downgraded yourself to one of the girls.
That probably explains the mixed messages you get. On one hand she might like you but on the other she knows something has changed. That change is your becoming and acting like her girlfriends act. You’ve got to drop all this “I care about feelings all the time and I’m so very sorry” stuff.
You made a mistake and you’ve admitted to it. But in an attempt to win her back you’ve continued to devalue your own manhood in order to show her that you appreciate her on an emotional level.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by jrock39 If she doesn't want to talk about it I have written a letter I will slip into her lunch box. |
GOOD GOD NO!!!!
Writing her a personal letter is something you save for an anniversary or Valentine’s Day (and not this one but one years from now). You don’t write about your feelings now. I promise you this will scare her away from you.
This will show her that your wrapped around her finger and you’ve got no power. It will prove you don’t have your emotions in check. It will prove that you think about her all the time and have nothing else going on in your life. This will give her everything.
I repeat this again, if you follow through with this, you will scare her away permanently.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by jrock39 I feel like she wanted to get back together because at first I told her I figured out what I needed to do and she said should I be scared ..Then all of the sudden its I have no feelings for you and there will never be another me and you .. |
She’s either playing your emotions or she’s got no idea who’s she dealing with. You went from being the jerk that dumped her to the guy she can pushover at anytime.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by jrock39 I think its pride and listening to her good friends both of whom have boyfriends who lie ,cheat and drink there off .. |
Huge mistake to either listen to friends or believe what she’s thinking based on her friends. They have nothing relevant to the situation.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by jrock39 That's kind of like taking financial advice from a broke person ..lol..I did do wrong ,fear made me do something I wouldn't normally do and during that time I did not see anyone else ..I have told her this but she will find out that I am a good person who she should have given a second chance ,all of her past relationships have been with guys who drink (which I do not),non-working cheaters etc.. |
So in other words all her past relationships were with jerks who never treated her right and didn’t pay much attention to her. Just like you did the first time.
That’s what she likes. That’s what she’s attracted to. Let’s be blunt there are many nice guys out there that she could go out with but she doesn’t. She likes the challenge of the jerk. You were that jerk and now your about to give her a letter with your feelings. That’s going to end it. That’s why she’s goes back and forth. She like the guy that didn’t give a damn about her and wants to like the nice guy but can’t because she doesn’t find that attractive.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by jrock39 I have my own home, work every day ,I am very romantic ,I sent flowers for New Years and she didnt even call to say "kiss my butt" which would have been better than not calling at all which she didn't ..So there we are ....The more I write here the more reasons I should just forget it keep coming out ..lol |
She didn’t call because she knows she’s got you. You’ve given her all the power. You’ve got to pull back now. I won’t say avoid her but don’t seek her out. Don’t initiate conversations. Make her wonder what’s going on with you. DO NOT talk about feelings and don’t cry in front of her again. I can not repeat this enough but DO NOT give her a letter about your feelings. Do not write her a letter at all. These are things women do with each other. She needs a rock not a tissue.
Linear Mode
