Will She Come Back?

kochi · #1 Feb 21, 2008, 02:23 PM

Well here goes. Will she come back?
After reading a whole bunch of posts on this matter I know the answers are...
1) Move on, and Date.
2) Dunno, maybe, maybe not. Yes and NO.

The story, My ex girlfriend and I originally got together after my very bad marriage. I had gotten over it, but was at the point where I just did not care and was happy being me. I was doing my own thing knowing where I was going, how I was going to do it, when. I had a vision for my life and nothing was stopping me. I got together with this girl and in the beginning I just did not care, I made that very clear, not matter how harshly or mean I was to her, I made it clear that I did not care. Anyways we kept hanging out and over time this girl really was doing special things that we ended up being in a relationship.

After that, sure we had our problems, but overall the relationship was great. I always, (I mean ALWAYS) was there for her, anything she wanted to do, I always did for her, no complaints. It was great. We still had problems, but nothing bad.

Over the past few months we kept fighting and fighting, the nature or direction of our relationship also made me feel very insecure, to the point where I was not being very trusting. I broke some very fundamentals rules (checking her cell) etc. No excuses, I did it feeling very justified at the time. Anyways, we sort of resented each other for various reasons and ultimately she felt like she could not do anything without me being weird about it.

Needless to say the relationship ended because of a very small fight ( a culmination of lots of small fights), but Im sure that was coming anyway and it was a matter of time. After I broke up with her 2 days later I called her up and said I was sorry being rash blah blah blah. Wouldn't have it at all.

I tried very hard for a week, emailed trying to explain the whole situation and letting her know how I "really" felt, what I hoped for the future etc. All what I really felt, and still do.

I was dropped hard. Probably deservedly so. My feelings on the subject are that, I did do things wrong ( I never cheated or anything, just small fights) as a reaction to certain things (hence the resentment) which I cannot however badly, take them back. I regret doing them now knowing at what cost they came at. Life is not always about being right, or having the other person be perfect. In a way I'm also bitter at being left (yes even though I broke up) like I did not matter at all. I felt like I offered ALOT and tried very hard despite the faults over the past few months.

Anyways after about a week at an attempt at reconciliation, I tried calling, texting, emailing all that stuff. I got a couple of responses summed up by the I still love you (need space), but not ready now or not sure if she will know when or if she wants to come back category.

Before the response I made it clear that if she did not feel the same way as she did before, it would not be an problem for me. I understood those things happen, I just need to know how she felt about me of which the reply was the above.

So it is very hard for me to understand or accept this.

I dont call anymore or plan to call, but the difficulty in moving on is when someone says that they still love you and you them...

Its been very very very tough on me, knowing that I love someone (them saying like wise) and still having to let them go.

weeeeeeeeeird.

what do you guys/gals think?

friend4u178 · Feb 21, 2008, 03:13 PM

Had to spread the Rep Tal , but yep Actions speak louder than words.

kochi · Feb 21, 2008, 03:34 PM

Yea, very true, thanks. It just really sucks.
Funny how you think it only happens to you....
I still can no get over the I still love you! man. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, driving me bonkers.

friend4u178 · Feb 21, 2008, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kochi

Yea, very true, thanks. It just really sucks.
Funny how you think it only happens to you....
I still can no get over the I still love you! man. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, driving me bonkers.

Yep it sucks , but by reading a lot of the posts on here you will realise there are lots of people in your situation.

kochi · Feb 21, 2008, 03:45 PM

yeah, we are all suckers hahahaha.
Na man, Im okay with it in a way as well. I know in my heart I did things wrong, but I also know in my heart I did things right as well. No relationship is perfect.

Time will reveal all that is hidden today.

kochi · Feb 21, 2008, 03:48 PM

Its been three or four weeks, and yea the first 2 were probably the hardest thing ive been through, no joke. Its like women and my achillies. Ive fought through alot but when it comes to women i get decked easy, lol.
But I do appreciate your comments, it does help know one is not special, these are patterns of life.

Still sucks and still hurts

yea we grow and we get better etc.
Learnt a lesson I already new. Like taking a class over again.

I hope one day to be redeemed.

friend4u178 · Feb 21, 2008, 04:02 PM

Read the links in Talaniman's signature for some things that may help you.

kochi · Feb 21, 2008, 04:15 PM

yea I did

They do help.

What to expect is funny stuff (great.)

kochi · Feb 28, 2008, 12:04 PM

so its been two weeks now and haven't called her. Its soooooooooo hard. I feel like if I email her how I feel it would make a difference. Probably not, but thats how it feels

.
I keep thinking she will call me soon.
I cant help thinking things I know don't help and I can't stop doing things I know don't help, but somehow I believe they will.