Will a relationship with a man 24 years older work?

Cheryl2007 · #1 Feb 23, 2007, 09:57 AM

I am 32 years old and pregnant for my 55 year old boyfriend. We live together. He has a reputation for being unfaithful and I do not trust him. How do I handle this? What should I do?

jdselby1024 · Feb 23, 2007, 11:50 AM

Has he given you any signs to make you feel he is cheating? Any relationship can work if the communication is there. Mind you relationships are hard work. Just try and keep an open mind, and talk, talk, talk.

shygrneyzs · Feb 23, 2007, 01:17 PM

He has a reputation for being unfaithful but has he been unfaithful to you? You say you do not trust him but now it is too late as you are having his child. Your relationship can work, in spite of the age difference. But can it work in spite of the mistrust you already have? That is the key here. At 55 he should have all his wild oats sown by now and matured enough to take on responsibilities of a relationship.

Are you afraid of what will happen as the pregnancy progresses? You need to sit down with him and explain your apprehension to him. You deserve to know his intentions. What would you do if you found out he was unfaithful? Would you ask him to leave or would you forgive him and try to work through it?

Have you thought of couples counseling? Someone acting as a mediator while you bring up the issues that bother you.

It could well be that he has the reputation but also has corrected his behavior and is committed to you and the child you are carrying. Your fears are honest. Does he know this? What does he tell you?

I hope all things work out for you. Take care.

kp2171 · Feb 23, 2007, 01:59 PM

not sure about your question. what should you do about what?

what to do about you not trusting him? ok. can you live with a man you cannot trust? some people can. some wont put up with it.

what to do about his reputation of being unfaithful? ok. same answer. you know this now, whether you did before or not. i tend to accept the general idea that once a person cheats there is a great chance they will do it again. maybe not always the case, but thats my experience with persons ive known to cheat and with two people i dated who cheated. it was never a once and done event.

what to do about being pregnant? i guess if this is your question (what to do about it under the circumstances) its all up to you. we can write pages about the keep the child/womans choice debate. personally, while being a single parent is hard, i think if you are basing caring for the baby upon whether the man will be there for you... well, i just cant think like that, so i cant give advice. children and hard work that is worth it, in my opinion, whether we are ready or not.

can it work out with an older man? this is what your subject heading implies. i think age is much less an issue the older you are. i have an aunt who married a man a dozen years younger than her. great marriage.

but what makes a great relationship has less to do with age and more to do with compatability. so, again, can you live with a man you dont trust? can you find a way to trust him?

really, thats about as complex as it is.

Wildcat21 · Feb 23, 2007, 02:26 PM

Once a cheater.

No trust - no relationship



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