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Will I ever get over my ex boyfriend?

Asked Jun 17, 2012, 07:39 AM — 14 Answers
Me and my ex were together for 3 years and through that period he had repeatedly spoke to other girls behind my back. He got them to send him nude photographs, and spoke dirty to them. I have had friends tell me they had seen him with other girls in clubs and kissing them. All of this had shattered my trust in him, I would go to leave him but I wasn't strong enough so I stayed in the relationship.

Anyway, recently I decided to end it with him because whats a relationship without trust? I moved 300 miles away from Essex to help me get over him. However I always think of him. At night I would lay and cry and think about everything we had been through together. We were talking about getting engaged and starting a family. We had been trying for a baby since Jan, this year.

A few days ago I spoke to a girl that he is now 'seeing'. It breaks my heart because she has a child and he will be bringing it up with her. I cant help but think I made the wrong decision by ending our relationship. I seriously need some advise because although I get it from my sister (the closest person to me) I need someone that I dont know to help me!!

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14 Answers
joypulv's Avatar
joypulv Posts: 11,957, Reputation: 9206
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#2

Jun 17, 2012, 08:05 AM
Easy: you are in love with someone who doesn't exist, someone who is faithful and good father material and trustworthy. He ISN'T. Nothing you hope for or dream about is going to make him be something he isn't. He doesn't exist! You are in love with the memory of what you thought you knew about him when you first met.
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Alexie Petrou's Avatar
Alexie Petrou Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
New Member
  
#3

Jun 17, 2012, 08:16 AM
: Erm i dont understand, how can i think that he dont exist? I know he does so i dont know how this will help..
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durpstick's Avatar
durpstick Posts: 34, Reputation: 36
Junior Member
  
#4

Jun 17, 2012, 04:39 PM
you will get over this guy. you sound like a really sweet girl with a lot to offer. this man betrayed you trust, and without trust there cant be anything. my advice it to cut him out completely, delete him off all social media programs you have an account with (facebook, myspace, ect), delete and throw away any contact info for him. and if you have any friends that associate with him, tell them they need to not bring him up around you at all, if they cant do that you might need to distance yourself from them as well. this is the time for you to live your life for you. it wont be easy but trust me it gets better, a lot better.
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Alexie Petrou's Avatar
Alexie Petrou Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
New Member
  
#5

Jun 17, 2012, 04:57 PM
Aww thankyou for commenting on my post! What you have said has helped alot.. The thing is, i done everything for my ex he meant the world to me, and i just kept getting hurt! I told him i had no trust but he didnt think much of it. Its like paper, when its screwed up, its never perfect again.. I find him hard to cut off.. i blocked him off facebook, then unblocked him a few days later. Its like i need to know what he is doing- that sounds soo obsessive!! Although i have realised i have more if a social life now i have moved away from him.. I go out and have fun, compared to when i was with him i went out like once a month if that. What do i do with the gifts he has gave me? E.g. Teddies and bits.. I hope things get better. I feel like ..
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durpstick's Avatar
durpstick Posts: 34, Reputation: 36
Junior Member
  
#6

Jun 17, 2012, 07:51 PM
you don't need to get rid of those things, but just for now put the gifts he gave you in a box, and put that box somewhere don't go. when your ready you can decide if you want to keep them or not. as for feeling like you "need" to know what hes doing, i can empathize with you. you two were so close for so long, loosing him is like loosing a part of yourself. but u need to be strong and stay out of his life for YOUR sake. what he does cant be a priority to you anymore, trust me it will only hurt you
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Alexie Petrou's Avatar
Alexie Petrou Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
New Member
  
#7

Jun 18, 2012, 03:05 AM
Okay, i will get everything he gave me and put them in a suitcase! And how will i know im ready to look at them again? Wont it instantly upset me and make me feel rubbish again? I wont want to work soo hard to get over him, then have a rush of emotions come back! Yeah i can see thats true about him being a part of me- because the 3years was my longest relationship and he was my world, i gave all my friends up for him and everything. Okay, so now he has got a new girl, how do i make him NOT a priority? i feel the urge to see what he is doing.. And every now and then he will text me to see how i am, i put on a brave face but it kills me!! Everytime i do or hear something, e.g. A song we played together, makes me hurt more and more!! ....
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talaniman's Avatar
talaniman Posts: 44,351, Reputation: 50366
Senior Family & People Expert
  
#8

Jun 18, 2012, 06:53 AM


Yes you will go thru all those emotions trying to heal, and move on, so put things away, and don't go back to those old memories and torturing yourself. Ignore his texts and tell him to leave you alone.
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Tallyman29's Avatar
Tallyman29 Posts: 22, Reputation: 45
New Member
  
#9

Jun 18, 2012, 07:35 AM
Honestly, throw the stuff he gave you away or sell it. You don't move 300 miles away from someone just to keep things that'll remind you of them.
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mmresd's Avatar
mmresd Posts: 1,946, Reputation: 2802
Ultra Member
  
#10

Jun 18, 2012, 10:31 AM
So the guy cheats on you and start another relationship while you two are together, and yet you still believe that YOU made the wrong choice?

Wow, you need to learn to have some self respect for yourself, that guy doesn't love you, I would go as far to say he really doesn't even like you, just played with your emotions to get what he wants (sex). It is time to go no contact, time to move on, be thankful that you did not get pregnant by this prick.
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