I am 42 years old and married 14 years back and having one daughter of 13 years old. After maaried 6 years we were staying together continuisly. After that I dropped my wife and child at my native with my perents and I am working out side my country and once in four to six months I go to my native and stay around 20 to 30 days depend on the leave I get from my company. My wife and myself was having good understanding and I have given full freedom. Around four years back she got a job in my native and she got chance to mingle with gents and ladies. My wife and me was in good love and we have good sex during the vacation time and I use to satisfy her in all respect. My wife was always interested me to stay together but due to my nature work it was not possible to take my wife with me also due to my daughter study and take care my perents. My perents and she was managing together but not very good terms. Around seven months back I had been to my native for a marriage my nice. That time I find she is having some relation with one person and she use to telephone him which was her favourate number and after call she use to delete the number to avoid seeing by me. Which I could find out and she told that number is her friend one lady. So I belived my wife. Now one month before I was on vacation and this time I could catch her while talking him and she told it a friend (one married person his wife is not with him) he is having lot of problem so he had telephoned her many time and they are now good friends but do not any other way of relation. But I belive they had all type of relation and still I love her and asked her to stop this relation and she agreed. So I have not told any body else and now I have come back to job place. Some time I feel she is not wrong since I could not bring her with me so she find another man. But I am not able to sleep properly because I had that much fath on my wife. So What I should do?
The only thing you really can do is try and find a job where you can be home every night. Even if it means less income it may be worth it if you want to try and save your marriage.
Other than that you will have to let things play out the way they are going to and see where it ends up. With you being gone she can say she is not going to see anybody else but the reality is she very likely is doing whatever she wants.
You may have to face her leaving you for somebody that is there for her.
But I am not able to sleep properly because I had that much faith on my wife. So What I should do?
You don't trust her to stay within the boundaries of good behavior, then you must address your trust issues. Nowhere have you said she cheats on you, and I may be wrong, but as a husband, then if this fellow is a friend of hers, then he should be a friend of yours too, at least an introduction is warranted.
That would maybe give you peace of mind, and keep you from getting carried away by fear, or insecurity.
I belive she is having all type of relations with him. Now I have stopped her going for her job. So she will not so free to move out as she likes since my perents are there. Also she is afraied on the society. Even she has been chaged her mobile SIM as per my instruction. Be fank some time I feel let she have fun some body and be happy as long which is not affecting my family life. But again I belive no it is wrong. Any now onwarrds I will not keep that much trust on her which I was having before. Any way I can not stay at home since finding a job there is very difficult compared to my present job.
The problem I see is that you can force her to stay with you by cutting her off money, her job, cell phone, ability to get around. But what good is keeping a marriage that is not based on love rather force? It could drive her even further from any love she may have for you.
I belive she is having all type of relations with him. Now I have stopped her going for her job. So she will not so free to move out as she likes since my perents are there. Also she is afraied on the society. Even she has been chaged her mobile SIM as per my instruction. Be fank some time I feel let she have fun some body and be happy as long which is not affecting my family life. But again I belive no it is wrong. Any now onwarrds I will not keep that much trust on her which I was having before. Any way I can not stay at home since finding a job there is very difficult compared to my present job.
You stopped her from going to her job and from what I understand are keeping her prisoner in your parents house?
You let her have fun sometimes with somebody?
Controlling her isn't the answer. Talking to her and getting help in your marriage is.
It is obvious this person is from a different culture/back ground.
It is hard to advice somebody that has been brought up in different ways.
Now is the time to learn how a real marriage should be like. What love is about. It is about being with your partner, communicating, trusting, understanding.
Limiting her freedom will not necessarily help but it seems like she is willing to do anything to keep married to you.
You also if I understand right. You just think everything was done with this other person but your not sure?
Counseling is very important in this situation and would suggest you do that.
You stopped her from going to her job and from what I understand are keeping her prisoner in your parents house?
You let her have fun sometimes with somebody?
Controlling her isn't the answer. Talking to her and getting help in your marriage is.
Stopping her job was not my own decision she also agreed. You mean let she have fun with some one some time. Even I also think in same line. But my heart is not allowing and when it become in our own life only we will come to know the reaction. One thing I am belive she will not leave me and my daughter. We talk each other and still in good terms. She admitted she has done mistake but never adimitted she had sex with him. I hope she had sex with him many time. Because this time when I was there and during our intercourse she was asking me how is my breast and other parts, is it now become big and is it sufficient for you etc?
I hope she had sex with him many time. Because this time when I was there and during our intercourse she was asking me how is my breast and other parts, is it now become big and is it sufficient for you etc
Okay, this may be a language barrier, but you hope she had sex with him?
You need to see a counsellor, someone that understands your culture and can help both of you through this.
Sadly I don't think we'll be much help, the cultural difference and the language barrier will probably prevent us from getting very far.
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