Hi...i'm new at this and need advice.....I've been going out with this guy for nearly a yr and a half......but we don't spend more than 2 days togther coz we live too far from each other. I have just spent a total of 34hours with him.......and he decided he needed space!!!!! ***?????? he says he still wants to be with me but cant spend that long with anyone.....Now what do i do???? advice please???
Newbie

Fr_Chuck

34 hours straight, needed time to be with other girlfriends ??

Sounds like he is not ready nor wants any serious relationship, If you are wanting more I would say you need to date other people, I would guess this is not a relationship with promises not to date anyone else ?

Amythest

I would say to hell with this guy :P You are probably worth so much more. space in this instance probably means I am about to break up with you.....least that's what it has meant to me and my chik freinds so I say find someone else who treats you teh way you should be treated

Newbie06

Thanks guys, my head is saying what you guys are saying but my heart disagrees.
Fr_Chuck - I've known the guy too long to think he would be with other girls...... i do trust him to be monogomous......
Amythest - i did first think he wanted to break up but after saying that he needed space, he asked me not to give up on him and he kept telling me he loves me!!!!!
I think the real problem is, is that i love him!!!

Amythest

becareful not to confuse infactuation with love.
MY friend was going through this kind of thing wiht her guy...and then he just like broke up wiht her. I am not saying he will....I am just sayingprepare you heart for the possibility.

Skell

It really sounds like this guy doesnt want what you are after. PLus long distance relationships rarely work.
we see it time and again here.
they are just too hard.
I think you should broaden your horizens and give him his space. but in that time date other people. tell him you are going to do as such.
tell him that this current situation with him isnt really working and that you are going to go out and meet other people.
it will be the best thing for you! You may just find someone that you really like and has more time for you! And is in your area.

Blazingsun

This doesnt sit well.

been together that long..ok fine.. but this was the first time u had spent over ad ay with him, and soon as u did that he freaks and wants space? ***... he's using u as some sort of excuse.

yes you may love him, infatuation or not. but he obviously doesnt feel the same no matter what he thinks.

pretty bad if u cant spend 34 hours together without going nuts specially after having 'been together' as a couple for over a year.

letmetellu

My bet is that he is a married man and just happened to someway get away for the 34 hours that he spent with you and he does not have a plan yet as to how he can do it again. But when he does figure out a way I bet you get an invitation to spend another long weekend with him. Be careful, do some investigating, did you go to his home or to some other place, if you went to some other place find out where he lives, get his home telephone number. Where does he work, get his number there. I am saying this assuming that you do not already know all of it. I volunteer some time at a place that deals with girls and women caught in the same situation that you describe.

Amythest

lol we all sound like we've watched too many movies ...but still I would be careful. good luck with you and your life which ever way this leads you....it does sounds suspicious though

Krs

Hi Newbie06 and welcome to AMHD.

If i where you i would run away from this guy NOW before you get hurt, even more!

I experienced a long distance relationship, where we actually lived in 2 individual countries. We did this for 1 year. I can tell you now that your boyfriend isnt worthed because when i went through this myself and used to visit my boyfriend only monthly for a few days, we where like to squashed sardines who never ever left eachother.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder while your boyfriend is totally having the opposite reaction!

He wants the cake.... and he wants to eat it all!