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Home > Family & People > Relationships   »   Why wont it stop? What would make it stop?

 
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Old Jul 10, 2007, 12:07 AM
Radium
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Why wont it stop? What would make it stop?

I dont know why But i cant let go of my ex. I dont care about anyone else I just want her. It has been going on now for 3 months. People say time will heal, how long of time? It is begining to destroy my life i dont even want to get out of bed. I feel that i cannot be full again with out her? How do i get over her and bgin moving forward with my life? Friends say she wasnt so great and that she treated me badly, and she did but for some reason i still put her on a pedastal and think she was the best thing to happen to me. I just want these feelings to subside so i can get on being a healthy person again. If people have Suggestions of how they over cam such things please let me know. Thank you.

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Old Jul 10, 2007, 12:10 AM   #2  
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I'm not done responding. But, I wanted to respond quickly. It sounds like you are obsessed with this person and aren't really secure in who you are. You can let go. You are just choosing not to. Live for the future. How can you undo the past? You can't.

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Radium agrees: Thank you i will try to apply all this.
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Old Jul 10, 2007, 12:49 AM   #3  
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Time will heal if you use that time. You're not wanting to let go. Stop dwelling in the past because no good will come out of it. Let go of regrets and move on. Take a walk, clear your mind. Spend 1-2 hours walking and just thinking. Stop yourself from thinking about your ex because it's pointless and you know it. Have faith in yourself, if you really want to move on. Time is already given, but the decision is yours.

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Radium agrees: Thank you for taking the time to help
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Old Jul 10, 2007, 01:03 AM   #4  
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Hey, life chucks real bad stuff at us at times. But life isin't easy, change is what its all about. The sooner you realize this the better. Your the only one who can change your present and future. Its real hard to get up sometimes and face the day but do you really want to waste anymore time?

For a start you could join the gym, or go for a run. Plan some trips away, do something fun, go see your fav band. If your having problems sleeping etc try Valerian, st.john's wort, 5-htp - Also these may help with mild depression. After a while of keeping busy your realize you have more memories of after your ex than with. Your wake up one day and you won't think of it all. Ill post a list of things you could try in abit. ah ha here we go (it applies to both sex) :

I got a mix of some of my posts people liked, hope it helps? I can say to you I have had contact with my ex and it has knocked me back a hell of alot, so stay no contact for your own benefit. You only have one life so live it for yourself:I think its time to accept the harsh truth that its over and start the transition to single life. Its hard but

whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger right? More wary in the future and aware what we are looking for in a


relationship and a person.

Treat your relationship as a life experience, you might not be able to treasure the memories you had right now but

one day you will. Do not regret but learn and move on, as someone much better is just around the next corner.

You must try follow these: (be strong)

1) Abide by no contact, ignorance is bliss so don't go near the 'grape vine'
2) Work on yourself entirely - hobbies, work, gym
3) Ever wanted to do something in your life? Nows the time
4) Spend more time with your friends and family and renew old social ties
5) Box every memory away and stay away from your fav songs for now - when you can look at it without feeling ill -

Ur halfway there!!
6) Time does heal :P It just takes a god dam while, but don't mope at home, go out, party, exercise - helps a hell

of alot

You don't need anyone to be happy.

The best revenge is to be happy yourself :]

Forgive and move on.

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

Pay no attention to the faults of others,
things done or left undone by others.
Consider only what by oneself is done or left undone.

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't

learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be

thankful.

You gotta accept it. Delete everything and keep your self busy. Here are things you can do right now:

1) Delete all his contact details + block him
2) Have a hot bath with nice scents
3) Listen to some of your fav music
4) Read a book - maybe about love/self improvement or anything
5) Watch a film
6) Go out and party
7) Spend more time with your friends and family
8) Have a good laugh + watch a comedy
9) Go out for a drive with your best friends - put all the windows down and put on some loud music and SING - I
love doing this
10) DONT SIT AROUND AND MOPE
11) Get out of the house - Go for a walk, anything
12) Join the gym + workout + have a sauna
13) Book a holiday
14) Try new things - meet new people, sign up for a course
15) GO NO CONTACT NOW - STAY AWAY FROM THE GRAPE VINE, in time it will get easier but for now you need to keep busy and block him
16) Go watch a new tv-series, maybe u can watch an episode a day

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Clough agrees: I like your answer!
Radium agrees: Wow I thank you for the thouroughness of this answer and cant beging to explain how helpfull this is. I will try to apply as best i can. Thank you
risingup : I great answer that includes lot of suggestions. I like that insiration at the end.
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Old Jul 10, 2007, 03:17 AM   #5  
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Hi, Radium!
there's been really good advice for you (esp Jiser) for now. I can add my two cents: 3 months isn't in fact a long time. Just try and do what is suggested above and you'll feel better, I promise (it's 7 months of no see for me, so I'm telling from exp). Try to think of your strong sides and things that you used to have no time to do. You play gitar - now is the time to beat Jimi Hendrix! You are into painting/photography? - take the camera out of the box! )) and so on. You need to do something to be proud of yourself. Add self-respect, you know... Damn, it's really hard, but it's worth it.
But it's also important to release yourself from it. It takes all your love to let go. And you'll do it- for the sake of your happiness that will come. Next love is stronger than previous, did you know?))
OK, cheers

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Clough agrees: Suggesting ways to make use of the gaps of time and to realize your self-worth and potential as a person is an excellent idea!
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Old Feb 19, 2008, 08:07 PM   #6  
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it is really hard to just forget about somebody even if it has been a long time i was engaged for 3 years and my mother died and i became really depressed.you know the classic working 9-5 everyday common person who was sick of their life and i hated my life for a while.Then my fiance said she couldnt be with me anymore and i was crushed.I literally thought about jumping off a building.But, i got on medication and a few months later i realized i didnt need it and i quit taking it on my own(which i dont recomend doing).I havent taken it ever since, but i still think about my x fiance and wonder if it was my fault just because i was depressed?Or was it that she just got bored of me like i got bored of myself.So even after long periods of time its still hard.I recomend dating someone else and talking to friends about your problems, that is the only thing that helped me.Im still single but as of right now i am accually enjoying life
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