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    PrettyLady's Avatar
    PrettyLady Posts: 2,765, Reputation: 332
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    #1

    May 6, 2006, 08:25 PM
    Why won't some men ever stop to ask for directions?
    My boyfriend Sean and I have been together for 3 months, and we've had our ups and downs. We like to go out to places, which is a lot of fun. But when we get lost, he doesn't stop to ask for directions. He knows his way around NJ & NY, but sometimes you can easily get lost because it's a very big area. Last night, his close friend and business partner was having a party in Westfield, NJ, and he told Sean and I that we had to be there. So Sean called me on my cell phone at work and told me to be dressed by 8:00 PM. When I went home to get ready, I wanted to go on the Internet to look for directions on MapQuest. Therefore, I called Sean and told him I was going to get the directions from MapQuest, but he told me not to do it, that he knows how to get there. So I said, okay, then I took a shower and got dressed. I wore a cute and sassy black dress with black high heel sandals, I was in the mood to dance the night away. When he came to pick me up, he told me that I looked hot. As he was driving, I noticed that we passed the same place twice. I told him to call his friend to ask him for directions, but he said that he didn't need directions. After sitting in the car for an hour and a half, I screamed at him to stop the car and ask for directions. We are argued in the car for a few minutes, then he called his friend to direct us to the party. We finally got there, but I wasn't in the partying mood, I was so upset at him. On our way back from the party, I didn't say much to him. When we arrived at my house, he opened the car door for me, however, I didn't kiss him good night or anything. I just wanted get in my house and go to sleep. I told him to give me a couple of days to calm down, and we will talk about this.

    I know I should have printed out the directions from MapQuest. If I ever go anywhere with him again, I'll make sure that I have the directions in my handbag. I don't understand why some guys never stop for directions. I've decided to go clubbing with my girlfriends tonight to keep my mind off things. At least my girlfriends and I ask for directions when we get lost. How do I convince my boyfriend that it's okay to ask for directions?


    Diana
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #2

    May 7, 2006, 04:03 AM
    I fall into the category of your boyfriend. I can't fully explain why I dislike asking for directions, but I do. I suppose its admitting a weakness that you have gotten lost. Its not rational.

    On the other hand, I hate getting lost so I never go anywhere without checking directions. I have a GPS and load directions whenever I go someplace new.
    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,926, Reputation: 674
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    #3

    May 7, 2006, 04:32 AM
    Hi,
    It's a "man" thing!
    Last vacation my wife and I took was many years ago. Went to Maine, CT, New England states. I passed the same "toys r us" store 4 times, before my wife said "let's stop, see how to get out of here"! I could see the Interstate highway; just couldn't get to it. We finally stopped, and asked.
    Don't know why it's like that, but please don't be upset. It's just one of those "compromise" things in any relationship, loving him for "better or worse". This is one of the "worse"!
    Many years ago, traveling in Alabama, my wife kept telling me that we are lost. After about 45 minutes traveling on an asphalt road, going 60 mph, straight road, the road had a 90 degree turn, no signs. I didn't turn. Kept going, with the brakes on, into a corn field. It was just luck the ground wasn't wet, and the car came out OK. Stopped at the nearest house, nice person told us the directions to get back to the main highway. Also ask me if I was the one he heard go into her corn field. She said, "happens all the time"!
    Men driving!
    Don't be mad; as you said, just take a map with you the next time.
    Myth's Avatar
    Myth Posts: 897, Reputation: 147
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    #4

    May 7, 2006, 04:39 AM
    My man won't stop to ask for directions either but always has me look them up before we go anywhere new. I guess I've fallen into the navigator position for him. I had to sneak the directions a few times in the beginning, but after that he depends on me to help us find our way. It saves him from having to "look like an idiot" and helped us learn to rely on each other. You might give it a try... humbly... lol... this is how we get around the problem without causing more.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #5

    May 7, 2006, 04:57 AM
    I want to add a couple of things here. First on Mapquest. You can't trust them 100%. My wife got Mapquest directions to a place I had to take her. Mapquests directions were specific, but wrong. The address we needed was on a highway service road. MQ placed us on the south side of the highway, and the address was on the north side.

    A funny story. We were going on vacation several years ago. My daughter (then about 15) was navigating from the back seat. We were exiting from the highway and the off ramp forked. I asked my dtr which way was I suppsed to go. Her response was "that way". Of course since she was in the back seat, I couldn't see which way she was referring to. I told I can't see what she was referring to, tell which road. Her response was, if I meant x road, I would have said "this way" instead of "that way". :)
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    May 7, 2006, 05:04 AM
    I solved this problem years ago... My wife drives, I sit and enjoy the view and keep my mouth shut! You'd be surprised at the things you see when you're a passenger!:cool: :D
    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,926, Reputation: 674
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    #7

    May 7, 2006, 05:17 AM
    Hi,
    I've never felt "like an idiot" when I get lost, and don't ask for directions. We have done some very nice "unscheduled" sightseeing! My wife has never said "I am an idiot" for not asking directions.
    There are too many other things in life to overcome, rather than simply seeing more of the countryside than one planned on.
    nwsflash's Avatar
    nwsflash Posts: 530, Reputation: 73
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    #8

    May 7, 2006, 07:31 AM
    I have a SatNav lol but can still get lost!! I agree as posted above its just a " Man Thing " not to ask others for help when lost as it can be viewed as a sign of weakness... SatNav is brill but it has also has had a lot of bad press over this way the last few months as they can add time and extra miles to your journey if you don't update the thing often or pay for the upgrades as they come out.
    nymphetamine's Avatar
    nymphetamine Posts: 900, Reputation: 109
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    #9

    May 7, 2006, 08:31 AM
    Well, Im not a guy and I don't like asking for directions because I have to walk up to strange people I don't know to ask them and Its kind of scary. My dad never really had to ask directions (except a couple times) cause he always knew where he was going.
    eyad1969's Avatar
    eyad1969 Posts: 14, Reputation: 0
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    #10

    May 7, 2006, 11:41 PM
    I think it is easy to answer that
    Cause he loves you too much and you are so prety he will never care if he fined the place that he is looking for or not cause he just care that you are with him .
    I think when you are with him he lost his mined so you have to fined excuse for him.
    You are so lucky cause you have boy friend love you like him.
    Good luck
    PrettyLady's Avatar
    PrettyLady Posts: 2,765, Reputation: 332
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    #11

    May 7, 2006, 11:47 PM
    I agree with all of you, it's a man thing. Some men don't want to degrade themselves by asking another man for directions. However, women will pull into the nearest gas station when they're lost. I have male friends who've stopped and asked for directions. But my boyfriend would tough it out than ask for directions, even if we are lost for 1 to 2 hours in the middle of no where. Sometimes he stares at me while he's driving, and I would tell him to look at the road, so there's lack of attention to road signs. He's always telling me that I look hot and sensual in everything I wear, and he gets distracted. But I know that I'm not to blame for his hormonal habits or bad sense of direction. The 4 most important things I carry in my handbag are my keys, cell phone, lipstick and "mace", LOL. Also, I plan to keep a paper with directions in my handbag just in case we ever get lost again.
    Stormy69's Avatar
    Stormy69 Posts: 290, Reputation: 98
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    #12

    May 8, 2006, 01:36 AM
    Easy compromise.. tell him to pull over and YOU go in and ask directions.. that way he gets to save face and you get where you need to go :)
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #13

    May 8, 2006, 07:44 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by eyad1969
    i think it is easy to answer that
    cause he loves u too much and u r so prety he will never care if he fined the place that he is looking for or not cause he just care that u r with him .
    i think when u r with him he lost his mined so u have to fined excuse for him.
    u r so lucky cause u have boy friend love u like him.
    good luck
    What?? Are you talking about?
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #14

    May 8, 2006, 07:46 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by ScottGem
    I fall into the category of your boyfriend. I can't fully explain why I dislike asking for directions, but I do. I suppose its admitting a weakness that you have gotten lost. Its not rational.

    On the other hand, I hate getting lost so I never go anywhere without checking directions. I have a GPS and load directions whenever I go someplace new.
    I think its contradicting as its more of a weakness I think if you had to see someone drive round and round because they are shy to ask for directions.. that's more funny than actually stopping to ask.
    My dad was the same, my bro is the same and my husband is the same too.
    Its always been myself or my mum asking for directions.. But I must admit I'm usless at directions myself... :)
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #15

    May 8, 2006, 08:05 AM
    You need to chill out and relax. Why would you get so upset and mad about such a small thing? Guys never ask for directions and if you are so worried about it you do all the directing and mapping and asking then if you guys get lost its your fault and you can not blame it on him anymore. That is what I do. I ask my wife to direct to map and to ask. IF we get lost we drive around if after a while we can not find the place, oh well, there are worst things that could happen and that whenever that happens to my wife and myself she is just happy that we had that time together and just laughed about it afterward. You need to give the guy a break and you did get there. So what is the problem. We do not always get to where we want to go, but the time together was important and ended up having a good time with each other anyway. I feel sorry for the way you treated your boyfriend, honestly sounds quite harsh to me.

    Joe
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #16

    May 8, 2006, 08:33 AM
    We are only men and getting lost is no big deal, What bugs women doesn't register on our radar as vice versa. Remember that the next time you see his underwear in the middle of the floor and know he'll get it in his time so just leave it. Life is simple if you don't get excited!! :cool: :eek:
    orange's Avatar
    orange Posts: 1,364, Reputation: 197
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    #17

    May 8, 2006, 09:08 AM
    I agree with what everyone has said, it's definitely a man thing. Both my husband and father never ask, either. However, in my father's case, he is huge on maps and he studies the map for about half an hour before going out, lol. So he always knows where he's going. My husband usually knows the way, too. If he doesn't, we usually drive around a bit and then he finds his way. I'm just happy he's the driver, because I am nervous driving on the highway.
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #18

    May 8, 2006, 10:00 AM
    I don't moan at him about it either, as I'm quite happy just sitting in the passenger seat ;)
    PrettyLady's Avatar
    PrettyLady Posts: 2,765, Reputation: 332
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    #19

    May 8, 2006, 06:10 PM
    Joe, I don't think that I was being harsh to my boyfriend. He knew that we would be lost going Westfield, NJ, but he told me not to get the directions to the party. I told him to stop and ask a gas station attendant for directions more than once, however, he decided to tough it out, and we were going the wrong way the whole time. We were lost for about an hour and a half, so I had to scream at him to pull over and call his friend for directions. When we were at the party, his friend and business partner told me that I did the right thing by making him call for directions. If I hadn't force him to make that call, we would have been lost for hours. I don't think that women should be blamed if their men have no sense of direction. If men would take the time to check for directions, maybe they wouldn't get lost. It's hard to sit in the car and be happy after you've been lost for a long time in the middle of no where. Reading the other posts has helped me understand why some men are like that. So I'm going to put a map on my boyfriend's dashboard, and carry a paper with directions in my handbag to prevent him from getting lost again whenever we go out to events.
    maria26's Avatar
    maria26 Posts: 69, Reputation: 6
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    #20

    May 8, 2006, 09:30 PM
    Through a map in the backseat of the car in case it ever happens again.. that way when he is lost you can simply look though the map and try to get him to listen to you.

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