Why wont my ex girlfriend talk to me

I want to get over it but it just bothers me that she won't even give me one word. I sent her a message a few days ago before I made this thread and told her that I don't hate her and that I don't want her to hate me either. I also said that Ill always care about her and how she's doing and if she needs anyone to talk to that Ill be there. I didn't mention that I wanted to get back with her I just wanted to tell her how I feel. Our relationship lasted only 9 months but I did love the girl a lot. After being broken up for 3 months I'm a lot better than I was but still think bout her when I wake up. Just bothers me that somebody you loved won't even give you the time of day, even after sending a message like that.

That's one of the reasons why NC and the dignified silence works-for you and your own healing.

It ends the confusion of waiting for replies to messages that may never happen.

Keep moving on and know that it gets better day by day.

If she came here and said "i broke up with my boyfriend and I'm having problems keeping my mind straight" wed tell her No Contact. Absolutely.

Same goes for you.

Ive reconnected with exs down the line, as friends again, but it took time and distance. My experience is keeping contact as "just friends" during the getting over it stage only causes delayed healing and often causes more problems. And keeping in contact with hopes of getting back together is also a bad idea.

So... Please respect her need to step away. It doesn't diminish whatever you had. Its just reality. An ex in your life makes life harder most of the time.

Clearly,she has had a change of heart or perhaps she just wasn't into you in a boyfriend ,girlfriend kind of way.
Maybe she didn't have romantic feelings toward you.
There is a ton of good advice on this site that will help you to get over her and move on.
It takes works but if you apply the tools you can make it easier on yourself.
Stay busy and focus on making yourself happy.
It does get better with time but you also have to be willing to accept the facts so you can begin to heal.

Her birthday is in april. Should I send her a card, say happy birthday or let it be then? I don't want to be a by not saying anything but you probably know better than I do.

The fact that you're asking the question, it shows that you still care. You only send a card or wish happy birthday if you want her back. It was a difficult decision for me as well, Christmas, new year, valentine, birthday. I manage to do nothing. And if you think that you are being mean or feel guilty, don't because she let you go.

I think it would look as if you are trying to get back into her good graces by sending a card.
Your best bet is no contact !
You need to let this go for your own peace of mind.

No contact=no cards-ever.
Save your money and treat yourself instead.

I agree... While I don't think you have to be a jerk... If you've tried to contact her and you get nothing back... Well, that says "i really need to not talk to you" from her side...

And if you send her that card... What that says is "im here for you no matter what"... Which people like to say all the time but its really a TERRIBLE thing to do... To say you have no standards of what treatment is acceptable? Ick to that!

Loving someone "no matter what" is largely overrated and usually not sustainable...

The other thing sending a card does is it doesn't let her feel what life is without you. And, like it or not, she NEEDS to feel what its like to be without you...

If she finds that its not bearable, fine. If she finds its doable, fine. But its early in the breakup and I think sending that card just feeds into your secret desire to get back with her... And it doesn't let her experience what this breakup really means... That you two are not together, not as bf/gf... And not as best buds.

You don't have her back... You are trying to cover your own...

Your x girlfriend won't talk to you because she is your x girlfriend. You need to move on.

I once read in a book that broke some rules, that if you want to get someone back, begging for them to talk to you.. Crying to them how much you miss them, etc,. Actually drives that person further away from you.

She left you because something went wrong. She doesn't want to talk to you because she is either over you or torn inside that it didn't work out. Making a scene for her to see is not going to make her want you, need you, or even want to talk to you.

Be confident. Show her that you can handle this better than she can. Let her come to you. Advise her that YES you will be there for her. But leave it at that. Don't get emotional. Don't get whiney or clingy. She fell in love with a man who was confident about himself. Not someone who is feeling sorry for himself. Or playing the "what if" game.

Maybe that type of approach will work for you. --- And no... Don't send her a card for her birthday. Sweet you may think... But strange, over emotional, and kind of unnecessary is what she is going to think. If you're on talking terms by her birthday.. Buy her a small gift with no significant meaning to it. -- that's what I would do anyways