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-   -   Why is he avoiding me? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=56274)

  • Jan 21, 2007, 09:42 AM
    kaitou
    Why is he avoiding me?
    Ok, I just recently broke up with my boyfriend (2 weeks ago). I was the one that was dumped. I know he still likes me, and the same goes for me. We broke up because he was worrying about things that wasn't even happeneing. We get along really really well. He had a bad history with his previous ex, basically she made him lose many many things that were important to him. So basically he was worried that the same thing would happen with me. So basically he chose to sacrifice me over his friends and lifestyle.

    When he was confronting me about his worries, he was already breaking up with me. I was totally caught by surprise, because it was so unexpected. I couldn't say anything in response. By the time I was ready to give him my opinion, he doesn't want to have any discussion. I just wanted to let everything out of my chest, so I gave him a letter with all my thoughts. I ended it by saying we can break all ties, stay friends, or stay in a relationship.

    I haven't contacted him since then. I was suppose to see him last week in class, but he decided to skip. He sent me a text message saying "Can you grab the class handout for me, i'll be in class on monday, see you then"

    I honestly feel like he's avoiding to see me, actually avoiding to have any contact with me for that matter. He never msn me, and I never msn him. We don't call each other, we don't email each other. He choose to skip class when we have class together.

    Why is he avoiding me? Geez I should be avoiding him.
  • Jan 21, 2007, 03:12 PM
    ellen4441
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kaitou
    Ok, I just recently broke up with my boyfriend (2 weeks ago). I was the one that was dumped. I know he still likes me, and the same goes for me. We broke up because he was worrying about things that wasnt even happeneing. We get along really really well. He had a bad history with his previous ex, basically she made him lose many many things that were important to him. So basically he was worried that the same thing would happen with me. So basically he chose to sacrifice me over his friends and lifestyle.

    When he was confronting me about his worries, he was already breaking up with me. I was totally caught by surprise, because it was so unexpected. I couldn't say anything in response. By the time i was ready to give him my opinion, he doesnt wanna have any discussion. I just wanted to let everything out of my chest, so i gave him a letter with all my thoughts. I ended it by saying we can break all ties, stay friends, or stay in a relationship.

    I haven't contacted him since then. I was suppose to see him last week in class, but he decided to skip. He sent me a txt msg saying "Can you grab the class handout for me, i'll be in class on monday, see you then"

    I honestly feel like he's avoiding to see me, actually avoiding to have any contact with me for that matter. He never msn me, and i never msn him. We dont call each other, we dont email each other. He choose to skip class when we have class together.

    Why is he avoiding me? geez I should be avoiding him.

    The reality is that IS avoiding you . He broke up with you after all, and he feels awkward.
    Remember this saying : this too shall pass !

    Give it a few weeks or so, and it will be amazing how much better you will feel.
    Time has a way of healing, one day at a time.

    Hey, you've actually got the upper hand, as HE is the one avoiding you. That should actually make you feel more powerful. Cause after all, you are not afraid to encounter him ,etc, but yet he is. So let him worry about that, not you!

    And , before you know it, he will probably want to hang out again. By that time , you will probably have moved on , anyway.
  • Jan 21, 2007, 03:17 PM
    kaitou
    I don't think we'll stay as friend, even though when we were breaking up, he was all like "I don't want to lose you as a friend."

    Just this no contact thing, or like just seeing each other as classmates, or him avoiding to see me, makes me feel like we'll never be friends again.
  • Jan 21, 2007, 04:29 PM
    ellen4441
    There is still a good chance , that in time, you will be friends again...

    Take it from ME, and I've been dating for over 30 years already!
  • Jan 22, 2007, 01:27 PM
    momincali
    Kaitou, he may be avoiding you because he knows you have lots of questions and he's just not ready, willing or wanting to answer them. He wants to break up and control the amount of contact between you.

    Just don't contact him for any reason any more. If he texts you asking you to get handouts or whatever, don't respond, not even to tell him no. If he asks you in person why you're not responding to his texts or calls, just let him know that you guys are broken up and you are moving on. And do it, move on.
  • Jul 17, 2008, 01:39 PM
    lawnshark
    Hes Avoiding U Because Ur Putting Way Too much Pressure On Him, Guys Don't Like That. Just Start A Fresh White Slate Aas Friends, U'll Get Closer And Can Work Ur Way Up To A Girl-guy Relationship. There Will Be Less Pressure And More Hang-out Time As Friends, Which Is What Guys Like, To Hang Out With Their Buddies, Trust Me, It Works!
  • Jul 18, 2008, 03:26 AM
    paricia
    Comment on ellen4441's post
    Just try and get on if you want to be togather be togather
  • Dec 29, 2008, 04:34 PM
    naruto89
    Hi l met this very special person... things are going so well we both have very strong mutual feelings towards each other... speaks every now and then...
    But the last time we spoke was just few weeks before xmas and he kept avoiding me for some reason and l don't know what is the reason is?? This really baffled me... and lm so confused and don't know what to do??
    When l told him OK OK l think its for the best l leave you alone and leave this place where we met... l told him how to delete myself the site where we met
    And he didn't even answer me since l told him that l would leave...
    So l waited and waited then l gave in and mess him back and ask him why he's not responding to my questions
    Then he mess me back saying in a tone of voice...
    U can't LEAVE ME I NEED YOU...
    Wow l didn't know what to say when he said that as l was thinking what is he trying to tell me?? Lm so confused here
    Then l ask him why he don't want me to leave?
    Then he said he need my mind and my love!!
    So can anyone help me out here
    What is this guy trying to tell me??
    Is he in love with me or what l don't know
    Lm getting mixed signals here as thought if he said that why has he been avoiding me then?
    This is something l don't understand
    Can anyone help me?
    What do l do??

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