It’s been nearly 7 years and counting since my ex walked out of my life. It’s been a really long heart breaking road to travel. But I did it. I think I have survived me! But, something keeps me still missing him. I find myself on AOL msg where I still have him on my buddy list and since I can still see him, he has not blocked me as he blocked me from everything else in his life. I sometime wish he would block me and then I would never have access to him. But I don’t have the heart to ask him to do that and I certainly cannot do it.

I don’t log on often, just once in a while but very rarely talk to him. Its crazy, but oddly it makes me feel better to know that he is some where out there. I keep wondering why has he still has me on his buddy list? Why has he not blocked me? He never msg’s me at all. I know he can see me when I log on as I can see him.

The break up was really very traumatic. And I hold my self totally responsible for it. But I tried everything in the world but I could not change his mind. Now I am left wondering why has he still left access for me to contact him? When ever I do msg him which is probably once a year or so, he dose respond back. But its very brief and to the point. Why has he not blocked me?

We both moved on, both of us are married. And I am not unhappy with my husband, but sadly my love for my ex runs too deep and I so wish I could forget him, but so far its been a losing battle. I don't think we could ever get back together, not because I don't want to. I would give my life to have him back but our life has GONE toward TWO different path which cannot be changed, even if he wanted to which I know he don't and I am not foolish enough to think he will ever come back...even though my stupid heart sometime lets me down...well often lets me down and has me reminiscing about him in a tragic way which makes me very sick for days.

Why dose he still have me on his buddy list? oh why oh why??

shygrneyzs

I think a better question is why have you not removed him from your buddy list and blocked him?

talaniman

That peek into the past is causing you confusion, and keeps stirring up old feelings. It would help close that door if you quite looking back, and worry why he does, what he does. From time to time we all get haunted by our past exes, thats normal.

ilovcali

I had a falling out with some friends recently. They're on my Myspace still. I haven't deleted them. Why? Because it's Myspace. Nobody cares.

You're the one holding on. Remove him from your buddy list. I bet he doesn't even care or barely notices that you're on his buddy list. It's a IM buddy list. Who cares?

--Cali

Wondergirl

No, you have not moved on. Remove him from your buddy list, and then you can finally say you've moved on.

talaniman

How are all the other areas of your life? Are there any problems or resentments your dealing with? Stress often causes us to imagine what if?

ISneezeFunny

i'm sorry. why are you married if you're willing to "give your life" for this other guy?

...damn. sucks to be your husband. no offense, but if i found out i was married to a woman who was willing to "give her life" for another dude, she's out the door...and forget alimony. she doesn't get jack.

shygrneyzs

Tal makes an excellent point - what else in your life are you holding onto? How are the other areas in your life? It does not sound too promising, if after seven years, you are still in this "holding pattern."

Rockstar714

Out of sight, out of mind. Remove him from your buddy list and focus on making your marriage work. Screw this other guy, he left and he's not coming back. He moved on, and so should you.

Fr_Chuck

Your husband may not like the idea of him still being on your buddy, and the fact you still have him does not really mean he has blocked you, unless you are trying to message him.

Get rid of his icon and move on completely with your life