We've been together for almost 2 years. She's a beautiful girl. I've been thinking about breaking up for the last couple of months because I don't feel anything for her anymore. What's keeping me from doing it, is that I fear that I will wake up one day and realize that I've made the biggest mistake of my life. She's such a sweet person, she loves me and she's really pretty. When she talks about the future it's like it's all about us. Seems like her only plan in life but to get married and build a family with me, and that deeply bothers me.

For me, getting married and all that is not as important as self-fulfillment and I wish she was more independent. I kind of wish she loved me less and her self more. Then I'd feel we were more on equal footing. As of now, I feel suffocated by her obsession with me. But the one time I brought up a break-up it devastated her. I still care for her like we're family and I feel so guilty for not feeling the same way about her.

I don't really understand what's wrong with me, because on the paper she's everything I could ever ask for. We don't really share the same interests or life goals, but we have the same humor and still make each other laugh and such. When we started dating I wasn't really interested in her, but from the point when she told me how she felt I quickly warmed up to the idea, and before long I was madly in love. But now it feels the same again as when we were just friends. I should also mention that for about the past year we have lived about a 3 hour drive apart and I spend at least one entire weekend a month at her house.

You know the answer, you already posted it. You don't feel for her what she feels for you, you don't like that she doesn't have the same goals you do, you don't like that she's "obsessed with you" instead of caring about herself. You don't love her anymore. You care about her, like family, but that's not a reason to stay with her long term, marry her. I love my cousins like family, because they are family, but I won't marry them.

Ya, she'll be hurt, maybe even devastated when you break up with her, but if you're not planning on being with her for life, you're only hurting her more by staying with her now. She'll be hurt, but breaking up with her will give her time to get over it, move on, and then find someone that actually does want to spend the rest of their life with her. She deserves that.

You're really not doing her any favors by staying with her because you can't handle her being hurt when you don't love her enough to stay in it for life.

I don't think you should keep leading her on and the longer it takes you to be honest with her as you are with yourself then the harder it will be. Break ups suck, and no way to avoid being painfully devastated especially if she doesn't see it coming and how can she when you have been deceiving her about your true feelings?

Kind of selfish to even be concerned about YOU making a mistake when you already have made one by not being upfront a long time ago.

I think you should be kind but honest. Tell her you have a lot to experience in life to figure out what you want. And it makes you feel trapped to hear her talk about your life together as if she already has everything figured out. Let her know you are not at a point in your life where you feel comfortable with her planning her life based on this future with you, and that you would feel better if she focused on herself.

If you want out, get out gracefully but firmly. If you just need her to focus more on her personal goals, like school or a career, tell her and then see if she follows through.

It is boring to be with someone who is not bringing interest and challenge into their own life .

It sounds like you are half way out of the relationship already. The next step is to actually end it.

Part of experiencing a serious relationship, is the reality that once the dust settles, and routine sets in, differences are more obvious, and more important, that what keeps you together.

While it is hard, it is very unfair to keep her dreams alive (of a future with you), when you do not see one.

Time to step up, be fair to both of you, and end it.