Im 16 now and ive got to the point where i want a relationship,
but ive never had any interests,
i feel its my fault that i dont get out enough to look for guys,
most just become my friends ,
i like a certain guy but i am really shy about talking to him, he works with one of my friends.

i really would like to know him but i cant help thinking that he wont like the way i look,
i always feel that guys judge me,
i feel really depressed and i always make excuses up like 'he wont like me im fat' i dont like saying things like that but i think its true

please help me find my feet

Jesushelper76

Honestly what is your rush. Your sixteen. It does not have to be now. It can happen later on. As far as being shy, this is normal. If you do not ask this person then you do not know what could come of it. A relationship is for adults. Dating is for your age. Keep it light. Oh, by the way, best way to get to know somebody and have it develope into more in the future is to have friendship form first anyway. Those relationships last longer then lust.

Joe

Allheart

Hi Lost,

Do you know how many girls at age 16 think like you...Most if not all. To be honest, I was one of those 16 year olds. Oh there wasn't enough corners in the room for me to hide Shy, oh my..that was me. But you know what, I was really okay with it. I knew I was shy, very shy, and I just accepted it. I didn't fight against it, becuase it would only make me feel worse.

I didn't really date much, actually at 16 I didn't date at all. And you know what? I really didn't mind it. I had a better time just being with my girlfriends who liked me for me. Made me feel good. My girlfriends who did date, well, most times they would spend crying on my shoulder because their boyfriends did something to hurt them, like sneak and date another girl. So I really didn't mind not dating at 16, I didn't think I was missing too much, becuase my girlfriends cried more times than they were happy. Honest.

Don't worry about the boys and if they like you or not. Go out, do things you like to do. Have fun!!! Doing things that you are comfortable doing, that make you happy, will take away some of that shyness.

As far as how you think you look, I bet all of your friends have a I don't feel my best today..day, we all have days like that. Be happy inside and proud of who you are and that beauty will shine brightly on the outside.

Keep a smile on your face and go out and have FUN!!!! and if there are days you are down, you have your friends and US, so please come back. Okay?

My very best to you,
Allheart

bluerose

"why doesnt anyone like me?"

Do you like yourself?

People are apt to treat us like we treat yourself. They say in order to have good friends, you have to be a good friend. Just a place to start making things better for yourself.

chuff

Maybe he will, maybe he won't but the reality is it has got to be you inside. In other words if you approach him with all this self doubt then you've got not chance. You've got to see yourself more than what you look like.


Well let's examine this. Are you one of these 90 pound girls that look like skeletons(ie Hillary Duff or that Olson twin) that still think their fat? If you are then let me clue you in. Guys think that looks nasty. Down right digusting. It's gross. That's problem that requires medical attention if so.

If your a heavier person and if it bothers you change it. Get a gym membership or if your school has one use it and start exercising. Learn about nutrition and apply it to your life.

All that being said it's your attitude going in that I see as your biggest problem. You seem to have given up before the fight so to speak. If you've got a positive outgoing personality that is appealing. If you got a "woe as me" attitude and look like Angelina Jolie that is depressing and not attractive.

Approach him about watching a movie or playing mini golf or just hanging out. Take it slow and see where it goes.

talaniman

To have healthy relationships one must be healthy in mind, body, soul, and spirit. You will attract those that are like you, so its up to you to make a choice, about YOU.

emma154

i used to feel exactly the same. i thought i would never find anyone. the best advice i can give you is just live life to the full. life is what you make it. this lad may like you but may find you unaprociable as you arnt confident with yourself. when you see him let yourself think im gorgeous and lovley and talk to him men love to talk about there interests. be smiley and happy and he will enjoy been around you. good luck