Sould I stay or should I go ?

You need to be single. No one can fill up that hole but you. You need to spend time doing things for yourself. Find out what your hobbies are. Learn about your likes and dislikes. When you feel that need to date or hook up do something else for YOURSELF. Pick up a book, call friends, go to a movie, journal, take a class etc.

LOL Are you ducking my question about how long have you been seeing your current counselor or didn't you see it?

Sorry, didn't see it 2 years now.

Forgive me here but either fire that counselor or sell me the brooklyn bridge. LOL

Far far too long to be appropriate and almost not credible from my experience and I know a great deal about the topic of counseling.

That you are here posting like you are verifies the ineffectiveness of what the two of you are doing. Had you answered something I could trust more as truthful and told me something that indicated the counselor knew what they were doing, I would have also suggested that posting here might not be the best idea when what you need to do is pick up your phone right now and call your counselor. Watering down an effective counselor's work is a real risk you take doing something like posting here.

Get to work on an actual solution and quit fooling around is what I see needed here. No more "yeah buts".

As a sidebar to everyone reading this post: Please, please DO NOT waste your hard earned money or precious time with a counselor who is ineffective like this. They ought to be shot as far as I am concerned.

Wow, I thought this was a place to get support. I just began working with my counsloer on relationship stuff. I sent most of the time working on my recovery from alcoholism. This stuff just recently came up. I trust my therapist and we have a great relationship. You are very quick to judge without knowing me.

Actually - I think Val is right.

First off, Val nor anyone, knew from your previous posts that you were going to a counsellor for alcoholism. I thought,from your previous posts, that you have been going to this person for relationship problems. Val is not one to tell you to quit someone for no reason at all. Her input is very good and should be taken as such.

I can really appreciate your recovery from alcoholism-- firsthand even. I can see how you might think your codependency is recent but any counselor worth their salt would not. Do you forget that I have read through a number of threads containing quite a few posts of yours?

If you don't like what I suggest, please don't take the suggestion. If you are happy with your counselor, then stay. I would clarify that this place is where people look for answers, solutions, ideas that work. Support is a part of it but when its over emphasized or only that, it tends to turn into long threads that go nowhere. You only need to look at the threads by Blueiman to see where that ends too.

To think a solution can be reached without some judgement involved is totally unrealistic. I have no reason to hurt you, and resisting truth is often painful. I know from having done it myself many many times. I have learned to appreciate those who tell it to me even as it hurts in a kind of "shoot the message but not the messenger" kind of way. I can't exactly disown what I know about poor counseling. I made efforts you may not realise trying to put it in a way that was palatable for you too because I thought AND STILL DO think you were/are worth it! Please notice that I made more of a harsh judgement on a counselor I have never met than you. I do so on the basis of having met and known enough counselors -- good and bad -- to make the sort of distinctions as I have here.

If you don't want to trust that or me, I understand... I really do. No hard feelings about it. But it does work that you cannot ask for help, and then not trust the help, and still expect to end up helped .........and that dilemma has plagued you for some time. In recovery terms, its Step One.

You sound like you want people to tell you what you want to hear. Not the truth.
I think your consellor does that and that is why you think he / she is so good.

And when someone here offers advice (that you asked for mind you) that youn don't want to hear you get a little defensive.

Could this be true?
Just a question you can answer in you own head. You don't have to post a response...

My personal opinion, and that's all it is, is that you need a new consellor to solve some of these problems. After 2 years you should be making progress one would think. And some of the thoughts I see you share in your posts don't indicate progress.

You sound like you are looking for excuses go back to something that didn't work or find something new that won't work to fill a hole in your life.

IMO a good consellor would have completely dealt with that issue by now one would have thought.

If you have been in counseling for 2 years then you have some understanding of how you work, or should. If your in a 12 step program I know for a fact they tell you to stay out of any new relationships because you need to focus on your recovery. They also will tell you two sick people never can make it together and that, you had better believe. So either your counselor, ain't worth the money or you're not living up to the things you should be doing to be healthy. Since you have no sponsor, I can only guess that your not doing the things that you shouldbe doing, that I'm sure, have been laid out to you. That's why you have a hole in your soul and are so confused about yourself. Leave the excuses to those that don't know any better, and do as your told to heal and move on.