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Home > Family & People > Relationships   »   WHY DOES LOVE PAIN KILL SO MUCH????

 
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Old Jun 4, 2004, 05:35 PM
sweety
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WHY DOES LOVE PAIN KILL SO MUCH????

Basically ppl me & me guy have been dating for 3 and a half months now. The relationship has survived on both our efforts so now we have an equal and fair position in the relationship .....
But the trouble starts here::::

My man has gone abroad today with his ***hole mates and i didnt want him to go with them cos i dont trust them. I even told my guy that i didnt want him to go & he apologised and said it was too late so i just compromised and let it be, even though it hurted me.

So as i was saying, he's gone with his dum m8s and now i keep getting weird thoughts of him cheating on me and i told this to my guy and he promised he wouldnt cheat on me or have a one night stand.

BUTTTT, I DONT TRUST HIS M8S!!!! I keep thinking they may influence him and he may have a one night stand as he is going for a WHOLE DAMN WEEK!!!!
Mind you but most the guy mates going abroad with him are single which makes matters worst cos they can sleep around with whatever slut they want but im scared this may influence him.

WEN IT CUMS DOWN TO ME OR HIS MATES I WUD B LAST PRIORITY ALL THE TIME AND I TOLD HIM BOUT THIS TOO AND HE WAS SORRY.


I NEED ADVICE FROM U LOT, SHUD I B FINKING LIKE DIS OR NOT???

:'(

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Old May 4, 2007, 01:39 PM   #2  
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ur right to think that way..

there's a chance his mates WILL influence him but if he really cares then he won't
and if you really care you'll believe him

I just hope for your sake he's not lying

good luck!.
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Old May 4, 2007, 02:31 PM   #3  
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You can't do much about it honey, he's there you're here....so don't lose your peace of mind over this...not worth it....somethings r best to be left as it is...enjoy each moment..don't waste these moments over brooding....
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Old May 5, 2007, 12:49 AM   #4  
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Think of this as a test honey. If all it takes is a bunch of his silly friends men to influence him to cheat on you, then he's not worth it. If you can't trust him to be by himself and make smart decisions on his own, he NEVER gonna make smart decisions ever and he's not worth your time. If he cares, he won't cheat. If he does, be happy that you know now rather than later when you've invested yourself into a relationship with him.

If you're his last priority (I'm not at all saying that you should make him choose between you and his friends) then you should start thinking whether you should stay. I've gone through the same crap with the friends thing, if your man can't find balance with the ppl in his life then it's another sign of immaturity. Just please think about how you will proceed, because I've been down this road and it's a long road of pain and heartache and talking till you're blue in the face.

If they are truly his friends they wouldn't advocate or condone his cheating. It's a sign of having the mentality of a child, and you know what they say the ppl you hang out with reflect the kind of person you are. Do you really want to have a relationship with a child or man? Your decision.

Good luck, and I hope you make the right decision.
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Old May 6, 2007, 07:30 PM   #5  
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If there is no trust there is no relationship. I guarantee you now if you believe he is cheating then he is!!! Get rid of him. You can find someone much better who you can learn to trust and understand. This is the only way, if you ever want to fall in love you must trust the other person first! Love can be blind but trust can only be earned!!!!

It will be hard to leave but this will only get worse.... TRUST me
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Old May 6, 2007, 07:40 PM   #6  
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I'm wondering why you don't trust your boyfriend. Until proven wrong, you should have trust in him instead of letting it eat at you. Stop overthinking it and let the cards fall where they may. You'll find out when he gets back and until then enjoy your life.
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Old May 6, 2007, 08:18 PM   #7  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweety
Basically ppl me & me guy have been dating for 3 and a half months now. The relationship has survived on both our efforts so now we have an equal and fair position in the relationship .....
But the trouble starts here::::

My man has gone abroad today with his ***hole mates and i didnt want him to go with them cos i dont trust them. I even told my guy that i didnt want him to go & he apologised and said it was too late so i just compromised and let it be, even though it hurted me.

So as i was saying, he's gone with his dum m8s and now i keep getting weird thoughts of him cheating on me and i told this to my guy and he promised he wouldnt cheat on me or have a one night stand.

BUTTTT, I DONT TRUST HIS M8S!!!! I keep thinking they may influence him and he may have a one night stand as he is going for a WHOLE DAMN WEEK!!!!
Mind you but most the guy mates going abroad with him are single which makes matters worst cos they can sleep around with whatever slut they want but im scared this may influence him.

WEN IT CUMS DOWN TO ME OR HIS MATES I WUD B LAST PRIORITY ALL THE TIME AND I TOLD HIM BOUT THIS TOO AND HE WAS SORRY.


I NEED ADVICE FROM U LOT, SHUD I B FINKING LIKE DIS OR NOT???

:'(
sound like both of you may have cheated previously. It's a hard thing to gain trust back especially if your not one to talk ya know. Just be honost will him. Also people will do things on their own, infuence or not, you choose your own actions. Don't badger him every day "like what did you do did you cheat?" Just be honost. I think you guys will be ok, try to have fun with you friends and try not to think about it too much and good luck
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Old Jun 12, 2007, 11:51 PM   #8  
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hey it ok i know how you must feel but when he gets bakc question him and ask him if he cheated and ell him how much u was worryed about it¬!
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Old Jun 13, 2007, 12:16 AM   #9  
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I totally feel for you as I have just passed through the same thing and after a year and a half of a relationship with the perfect man I lost him to his lousy friends, in particular his best friend who had backstabbed him by trying it on with me.... my advice is this..if his friends have such a strong influence in his life, like my ex's then be wise and get out now as sooner or later they will drive a wedge between you as guys are different to girls and dont show the same respect becuase of their male camaraderie and he might acutally end up resenting you for no reason as he sees you as the reason for not living the life with his mates.

I did all the right moves in my relationship, played it cool about the friends, was always friendly to them, never put pressure etc but in the end I lost him to them and it has truly broken my heart.... I knew of this problem from the very beginning but becuase I knew he loved me and was committed I thought we would overcome this but you cant eliminate a persons life and I should have been wise and called it a day in the beginning.

I'm sorry this is not what you want to hear but you are very early in and it seems you really care.... last thing you want is to be in my position, a year and a half on, totally in love with a person who fell for his friends and their playboy ways.

good luck!
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