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My boyfriend and I have been together for awhile, and just like many other couples, we have our quarrels and what not. We tend to resolve them fairly quickly, and we recognize our faults and what causes a lot of our conflicts. But often, I'll ask him a question regarding something I may or may not be sensitive about; he'll lash out first, make some noise like he's extremely frustrated and then say its my insecurities, I need to control my thoughts, ect. Although some of it may be true, I know for a fact my questions are not not provocative. For example, tonight he told me that sometimes when we have sex in the missionary position his "stuff" gets soft. Well, before this he had actually told me it brings about a different reaction. Naturally I was confused and asked him why. He then stated, he didnt know, maybe because he's not being visually stimulated. So then, remembering that he used to look at a lot of porn, I asked him if thats why, not being antagonistic or anything and he was like no. And he was criticizing me thereafter, saying i was being to insecure. Yes, I was a little concerned about what he said especially because it didnt coincide with his previous answer, but I wasnt like angrily interrogating him. The reason why i was concerned it because thats the position we will "make love" and this is a very important part of our sexual intimacy I think, as it is with other serious couples. If he's not aroused by just our making love, then I believe i have cause for concern. WHat do you think I should say or do. Remember that he seems to lash out about most questions he thinks are directly linked to some insecurity about myself...Idk i would like it if he acted more like my boyfriend and not Dr. phil
A few months ago I had discovered some photos my boyfriend was sending to this particular female on this ridiculous dating/social networking site. Long story short. I asked him. He started babbling, which was the first indicator that he was lying. Then he made up some extensively outrageous lie that i found to have no credibility. I knew he was lying. But it was like 2 am when I confronted him about it and I was tired so I yielded to my weariness and put it off. Although, I did not forget and i was thinking of ways to get him to tell me the truth. Finally he did about a month ago. Ever since then, trusting is an endeavor I shall attemopt to re-learn it. He already "cheated before" actually both incident happened around the same time Like a few days apart; i'seem to have handled the first incident in a relatively good amount of time. Seeing as he came forth and did not flat out lie to me about it. There is a lot of suppressed anger that is freighted with the whole issue. I really just resent the fact he lied to me about it. I dont know. And things have become increasingly difficult to fix. The worst part is, on several occassions I laid out the chance for him to come clean by saying.."is there anything else" is there anything you want to tell me? He only told me once I tried to make it all blow up in his face by posing as some girl who wanted to xchange "x-rated pictures with him" I would like to say I believe that he knew it was me as he said, but its like how can i be sure when he lied about sending pictures to that girl in the first place??? Above all else, everything is always my fault because Im insecure...NO **** sherlocke...i wonder why??
Okay, you probably won't like this whole post, so if not just wait for someone else to respond.
You stayed with him after the X rated picture incident, which told him "you forgive and let it go" which meant that you can no longer hold that against him. It's relationship double jeopardy, sounds weird and wrong but its true. You should have ended it the first time
I DO NOT agree with you pretending to be someone else, it's just as deceitful as the liar that it's intended to catch. If you have a feeling your spouse is cheating, go with it. Something isn't right, you speak up. If it can't be resolved by communication, then it's time to walk away from the relationship.
Now you have two choices, stay with him and continue to allow yourself to be made insecure by this internet cheater which may grow into an reality cheater, or walk away.
Well, I dont agree or disagree with your post. I'll just take it for what it is. But i must mention the physical cheating was a one time thing, and the sending pictures to a girl after talking her up was probably a 2-3 event; in short it happened once. it wasnt continuous.
Well, I dont agree or disagree with your post. I'll just take it for what it is. But i must mention the physical cheating was a one time thing, and the sending pictures to a girl after talking her up was probably a 2-3 event; in short it happened once. it wasnt continuous.
So are you going to allow him to continually do this? I mean that's 4 times he has cheated that you have allowed him. Cheating for me, and a lot of other people is a one and done thing. They have a strong habit for repeating, which it seems he is doing
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