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    Why does my ex still calls me?

    Asked Mar 3, 2008, 08:33 AM 33 Answers
    3 threads merged/edited.
    This is an older post so please read the whole thing for background info and current feedback

    My Ex Girlfriend And I Broke Up 3 Months Ago. She Broke Up With Me Because I Was Going Out With Myfriends Too much.she Told Me She We Are Not Getting Back Together Anytime Soon And That She Fell Out Of Love For Me. She Cries About The Situation When We Talk About It Or She Gets Very Angry. I Want To Move On But She Still Calls Me Or Text Messages Me Often Which Makes It Harder For Me.what I Want To Know Is What Is Her Intentions? Im Confused On What To Do.. please Help:

    Last edited by talaniman; Jul 5, 2009 at 09:22 AM.
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    jolienoire's Avatar
    jolienoire Posts: 917, Reputation: 166
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    #2

    Mar 3, 2008, 08:44 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by BILLYJADEN
    I Want To Move On But She Still Calls Me Or Text Messages Me Often Which Makes It Harder For Me.what I Want To Know Is What Is Her Intentions? Im Confused On What To Do.. please Help:

    You just answered your own question
    I want to move on
    that right there gives you your answer. Don't make her uncertainty blind you to what you want. If you really want to move on then stop all contact, if you have to change your number do it. Whatever it takes for you to unconfuse yourself take action. The reality is that I don't think you have healed completely from this relationship and you can't with her lingering in and out of you life.. tell her that you need time to yourself, and ask her to not contact you. Then stop the contact and do what you need to do to be happy.
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    BILLYJADEN's Avatar
    BILLYJADEN Posts: 22, Reputation: 2
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    #3

    Mar 3, 2008, 08:50 AM
    Should I think she still wants something with me? Or is she trying to teach me a lesson? What is her intentions?
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    jolienoire's Avatar
    jolienoire Posts: 917, Reputation: 166
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    #4

    Mar 3, 2008, 09:21 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by BILLYJADEN
    Should i think she still wants something with me? or is she trying to teach me a lesson? what is her intentions?
    My concern with this is that she made a decision to break up, I don't really know the details, or if she in fact talked to you before the breakup about spending more time with her and not your friends. If she loved you and seen that their was a problem, she could have communicated this with you and allow you to change or maybe you didn't think it was a big deal no matter what she could have talked to you.


    To add salt to the wound she not only broke up with you but SHe also made it clear that she fell out of love with you.. FLAG
    SHe made her decision to break it off, she could be realizing this was a mistake, but she can't manipulate the situation and keep holding it against you. It was her ultimate decision to break up. If she feels she made a mistake she should have said something by now, and want to rekindle, but if she is just calling you to keep blaming you for the breakup, then why do you want to talk to her or even get back with her.. You are not even together and she calls you and get angry, and cry for her decision.. blaiming you when she stated she doesn't love you. SO what are you holding on to?
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    BILLYJADEN's Avatar
    BILLYJADEN Posts: 22, Reputation: 2
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    #5

    Mar 3, 2008, 09:26 AM
    Confused on what to do?
    Ive told her that I'm a changed man but she doesn't believe me. She tells me she is happy being by herself.Ever since we broke up we have kept in touch. We talk almost everyday. She text message me and calls me to see how I'm doing. Im moving on. But I want to know what her true intentions really are by her calling me/texing me all the time?
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    BILLYJADEN's Avatar
    BILLYJADEN Posts: 22, Reputation: 2
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    #6

    Mar 3, 2008, 09:41 AM
    Well to tell you more about the situation. She has taken me back 2 times for the same thing. I have to admit I do love her and I want to work things out slowly but she doesn't want to give me another chance. Ive told her to stop calling me or text messaging me to make things easier for me. I just think its ridiculous how a person doesn't want anything with anyone but yet still wants to stay in touch.
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    jolienoire's Avatar
    jolienoire Posts: 917, Reputation: 166
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    #7

    Mar 3, 2008, 10:00 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by BILLYJADEN
    Well to tell you more about the situation. She has taken me back 2 times for the same thing. I have to admit i do love her and i want to work things out slowly but she doesnt want to give me another chance. Ive told her to stop calling me or text messaging me to make things easier for me. I just think its ridiculous how a person doesnt want anything with anyone but yet still wants to stay in touch.

    Easy, because they are hurt, she is hurt by you not choosing her over your friends, but she made a decision to end it therefore she must live with her decision. You on the other hand obviously was not willing to change, and therefore have to accept the consequences.. and because You guys have already been in and out of the relationship I think its best that contact for now be obsolete.. Until you can fully heal... You need to find out what it is that you want and what makes you happy. Because if you needed to be with your friends all the time, that means their could have been a void in your relationship.. some incompleteness because if you really want someone nothing will keep you away.. I mean nothing... Can their be friendship? Perhaps it can be later in life.. not right now its too soon after the breakup to try at friendship.. You need to heal first and get yourself together emotionally and mentally.. Otherwise you will keep going back and forth breaking up and making up, and eventually it will become sour, and can even lead to never being friends.. If you want friendship you have to let go.. who knows maybe when you both mature a little later you can reestablish a friendship, or maybe not.. The bottom line is let go, no contact is strongly advised...
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    BILLYJADEN's Avatar
    BILLYJADEN Posts: 22, Reputation: 2
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    #8

    Mar 3, 2008, 10:17 AM
    Thank you so much. I agree.
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    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE's Avatar
    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE Posts: 1,051, Reputation: 112
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    #9

    Mar 3, 2008, 10:27 AM
    How much time did you spend with her/your friends?
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    SJB1701E's Avatar
    SJB1701E Posts: 164, Reputation: 30
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    #10

    Mar 3, 2008, 10:54 AM
    Well of course she's happy being single. She still gets to talk to you every day. This is what we call "having her cake and eating it too". Don't let her have it both ways. No relationship No Contact. Stop responding to her and calling her. Do this at least 2 weeks and see if she's still contacting you. If she is, politely tell her that she wanted a break up, what else is there to talk about. In the mean time, go out and have some fun and get your mind off her.
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