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xxjennyxx509 · Feb 18, 2011, 06:09 PM

My boyfriend doesn't let me go anywhere without him. Like today, our friend Jess(who is staying with us) wanted to go down to her brothers and get some chocolate chip pancakes, and my boyfriend called me from work when he was on break and I told him.

He started asking me if that was where I was really going and said I couldn't go. Then, he was making me so mad that I hung up on him. & he was like flipping out on me and said he wasn't going to come home.

Finally when he had to go back in he made me promise that I wouldn't tell Jess about any of what we talked about. So I'm not allowed to go anywhere without him, he's allowed to go out whenever he wants, but that's okay.

I'm cyber schooled so I don't have like any friends anymore and it's just not fair. I get so depressed and if we break up or fight really bad he tries to kill himself. I just don't know what to do. Help me please?

ISneezeFunny · Feb 18, 2011, 07:16 PM

Sounds like your boyfriend is... well, how do I say this, juvenile. It's because he's very selfish, and has very little self esteem, so he is afraid that you will meet random boys and possibly leave him.

I know, because I used to be that boy.. well, on a much lesser scale... but yeah. He'll never learn and he'll never change until something in his life changes... so it's up to you.

I suggest you have a chat with him about how you like him, but you would like freedom in your life because it's not fair to you. He doesn't own you, it's entirely your life.

If he's not listening or doesn't make progress, leave him.

talaniman · Feb 18, 2011, 10:23 PM

I don't know how old you both are but, if you allow bad behavior you get more of it. Why do you allow someone to tell you what to do in the first place?

If he wants to act like an a$$, let him do it without you.

NukeNC · Feb 19, 2011, 11:25 AM

You really need to sit him down and have a talk with him. This relationship is just going to make you sick if you keep it up. I can't imagine anybody would want to be in a relationship like that.

I'm a little bit like him, I can admit it. But, as Sneeze said... On a lower scale. I'm a little paranoid my girlfriend will meet random guys, but I don't make sure I go everywhere with her and tell her she can't do things.

Lets face it, the whole "I'll kill myself!" bull**** is going to be 98% of the time just that... bull****. So, sit him down... have a talk about how you feel. If he doesn't respond well, leave him.

DoulaLC · Feb 19, 2011, 11:52 AM

Just end it before it goes any further. Tell him that you are not happy, he wants to be able to tell you where you can and can't go, who you can and can't see, while he has no restrictions. Once you end it, do not get talked into getting back together, no matter what he says!

He will either try to talk you out of it, get mad because you are breaking up with him, or make threats to harm himself. All of which have to do with what HE wants and not what you want.

I can guarantee you that he won't say, "Oh, you are right, I am so sorry. I love you and I trust you. Let's try to work this out so that we are both happy with how things are going."

There are so many other guys out there who would be better boyfriends and treat you how you want to be treated.

You would be better off without a boyfriend for awhile than to stay with him.

mmresd · Feb 23, 2011, 12:01 AM

The answer to "why does my boyfriend control me?" is: because you let him. You are in a relationship so that you two can share things together and enjoy each other's time. But, when it goes so bad that you can't have a life of your own it can be extremely damaging and claustrophobic. Leave him, if he does something as dumb as attempting suicide then that is his own personal choice and the burden does not fall on you. You make your decisions and he makes his. So, make your decisions and move on because this guy has nothing to offer you and it seems as if you would be A LOT happier on your own.

Good luck,

Javi