I Have been with my boyfriend over 11 months and things have been really upsetting recently. I'm 27 and he is 15 years Older than me (42).
We got together and everything was fantastic, he took me places was really interested in my life and making sure I was happy. After 4 months of being together he suggested he moved into my house as I was at university and was struggling financially so he said he'd pay my rent and help with the bills and even bought me a new car, he is a highly successful engineer and has been working all over the world but never bought his own house. I have a child from a previous relationship who he got on really well with so I agreed he could move in. Everything was OK, then his job meant he had to work 150 mile away... his work pay his cost of living expenses so he got a house share near work and said he'd come back weekends...

anyway now we are supposed to be buying a house (exchanging contacts next few weeks) which originally we were going to do together but now he will buy and we'll move into, also in November we are expecting our own baby, he told me he was ready even though I was unsure as I didn't want children with different dads, but he said he would always be there for me. Only thing is every 3 month or so he tells me he can't be with me any longer and that he doesn't want the relationship... he has done it twice since we have found out I'm pregnant, to the extent that he told me if I have the baby he will not want anything to do with it, I really don't understand as he has still been home all weekend and not mentioned what he said only 2 days ago... He seems really selfish sometimes and even said he would take back things he has brought for me and my son... I love him very much and feel our relationship could e fantastic, we both have similar morals, tastes, ideas and values but I cannot keep feeling like I'm treading on eggshells around him. He seems to hate that I have opinions and even said he doesn't ant us to move in together, I'm so confused and there is so much that has happened. He lied to me that he only had 1 Facebook account and that he didn't know the contacts... I said I didn't understand why he would lie about something so trivial and he went mad at me, saying I have a problem?! Can someone please advise me on if this is normal... all I want is to raise my child and the one I'm having with I'm, in the home he's buying and for him to love me... Any Ideas please?

Thank you x

Just to say, I work and am still studying and do not rely on him financially. But as we were supposed to be buying and moving into our house I now have to be out of mine buy the end of the month... Is he just scared of commitment or will things change? He has 2 brothers and none of them have ever been married or had kids and they are 32, 41 and him 42... is that normal? Or maybe its issues from his childhood! It wasn't unhappy but his parents devorced and argued lots... now though instead of him not repeating it, it seems he's doing the same.. I think he could be happy f he would let himself enjoy children and a relationship

I don't know what his issues are but this is not a steady reliable partner,nor a good dad to your children.

He sounds emotionally unavailable and controlling.

I wouldn't stay with him another day,hard as that sounds,you have your children and their future to think of.

These are your problems to deal with through honest communications, but I suspect everything has been magnified for you both, with you being pregnant, and the upcoming move.

I also suspect he is new to this kids thing, and has no one to share they experience with who has been through this. So he may well be overwhelmed, and AFRAID that something so big is going on, and he has no control over it, nor proper support.

However, thats no excuse to be cruel, or tacky and that's something to resolve between you. It's a delicate time, but by no means should you put up with bad behavior, because that will invite more.