My boyfriend abuses me physically and emotionally to where I feel nothing I love him and he says he loves me yet he does this to me. I want to get to the reason of why he does this?

Because you let him, simple as that.
Get out and stop the abuse!

Sunflower is 100% correct. Sure, he's got some issues going on that started the abuse. But the bottom line for why it continues is because you allow it. Someone on here wrote this beautiful, but chilling, poem the other day. I'm going to go look for it and if I find it I'm coming back and posting it for you to read. It was about an abusive relationship and I think it would wake you up.

"paigerwaiger94
New Member

I got flowers today.
What do you think of my poem? Please, I need help on whether its good enough to send into a competition.


I got flowers today.

I got flowers today.
It wasnt my birthday, or any other special day.
Last night, we had our first fight.
He yelled at me, and said some cruel things,
But I know he must be sorry,
Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today.
It wasnt our annaversary, or any other special day.
Last night, he hit me.
But I know he must be sorry,
Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today.
It wasnt mothers day, or any other special day.
Last night, he beat me again.
It was much worse than anytime before.
He shoved me into a wall, and choked me.
I can't leave him.
What about the kids?
What about money?
I got flowers today.
Today WAS a special day.
Today was the day of my funeral.
Last night, he finally beat me to death.
If only I had had the strength to leave him,
I would not have gotten flowers today.
-paige.


Im only fifteen. Please don't be harsh. I watched this happen with my mother. She was my inspiration."

Maybe this in an extreme case. Not every woman dies because of an abusive boyfriend or husband. But why take the risk? Why allow it? There's no reason for it. Forget love. He doesn't love you. Not if he claims to show it with his fists. I'll bet he calls you names, or puts you down telling you that you can't do this or that you can't do that? Guess what. You can leave. You can walk away from it all.

The poem says it all. Just read it and read it. Sends chills doesn't it? Well it happens.

The question shouldn't be "Why does my boyfriend abuse me?", but "Why do I let him?"

Honey, no one has the right to do anything to you against your wishes. Don't ask why he hits you, change the cycle.

Do not let him hit you.
Do not let him abuse you.
Do not let him call you names.
Put an end to this.
It is not healthy and it will not help you.

Because you allow it

Leave him and it takes away his power and control over you

You get what you put up with.

Love is an action. It's not what you say, it's what you do. If he is abusing you, he does not love you. If you are allowing it, you do not love yourself and therefore are incapable of loving another. Abusive relationships have nothing whatsoever to do with love.

Not to mention you want to know the reason why he does it? What does it matter?? There is no logical reason to it. He is abusive and your taking it and now want the reason behind it. We are telling you. The reason he is doing it is because you are letting him.

Your boyfriend abuses you because you let him, and then you protect him.
If any boyfriend of mine hit me, I'd call the police and have him arrested and then I'd file a restraining order on him. But that's just me, I grew up with older brothers and had my share of fights, some of which I won. So to protect any guy that picks a fight with me, he'd be safer in jail.

I had a boyfriend hit me once because I had the nerve to yell at him. Guess what he got it right back across his face like he did to me. Then I got out of the car threw his keys in the snow bank and walked home. He never ever did it again. I don't stand for that and that was his one time or else. Once and your done in my book. Have respect for yourself and get out.

There is no once and done. I have NEVER and will NEVER hit a woman. PERIOD. Once and done meaning you two will never be together again? True... once and done meaning he gets another chance... NO... just my opinion.

The issue you of why he is hitting you has NOTHING to do with the actions you need to take to be protecting yourself. Help yourself! Get your a$$ out of this situation NOW!

Well there are cowards out there who get there kicks beating women. Honey there isn't one person out there that's going to tell you to stay.

I do not mean to put this on you what so ever.

But the question really shouldn't be why is he doing this? it should be why do I put up with his crapola?

If you found ALL the answers to why HE (and I mean specifically he) is doing this to you... it wouldn't maytter, it doesn't change anything. You can't change his actions... but you can change and control your own.

You need to leave him. Even if he says that he loves you... does it really seem as if he does? Love doesn't hide, nor lie in the word itself... if you say it; you don't need to mean it. Love lies in the actions we do and how we act towards the people we love.


He is treating you horribly and the only way to make it stop is to leave. Take the control of yourself back and stop the pain he is putting you through: you can only save yourself!

Get out of this realationship now! This isn't love! And you deserve much, much better!

When he is striking you or pushing you or name calling are you feeling like you love him and want to run and hug and kiss him? I doubt it. Does the pain feel that good you want to make excuses for him? No. Are there children involved because if there are how does that make them feel?

Standing there and taking this kind of behavior is the same and watching a crazy person shooting a gun at people... "Why is that man shooting at people?" Who the hell cares, get out of that situation!

He has brought you down and beaten you up so emotionally that you think you deserve this mess!

I think the truth hurts because she hasn't been back to us here.

OMG, why do you stay with an abuser? ::shakes head::

Btw, this isn't love. He loves to abuse you and I bet he tells you it your fault.

Run to the nearest exit before you end up dead.

I wish she would just come back!!

Me too. I'd feel better knowing she was OK.