Ive never felt so low about myself... I went on hoiliday there with friends and was looking forward to it. I bump in2 a girl I used to see and still really liked. I bumped in2 her in a club on holiday and I just chated away normally, her friends were leaving but she said she was staying with me so I wondered if she liked me again. We talked and ended up kissing, I then walked her home to her hotel treid to kiss her again and she wouldn't, she then eventually tells me she has being seeing someone... it was like a kick in the guts. She said me and her are in the past and she kept saying when she was seeing me she really liked me, but all the time I was seeing her she only wanted something casual.

After her there were two girls I liked and thought id ask out not at the same time this was on different occasions, as usual one chats away over texts but willl not meet up with me another I got to see now and again but when I was out the other night with her all she could do was constanlt ylook at my mate and talk about him... this is a guy who all the girls find good looking, I can't help but feel jealous and to be honest I can't be with anyone without not feeling physically attractive enough.

As mentioned in posts before a year back I had an operation to correct an underbite on my teeth. I thought this would have helped my confidence but it hasn't. When I looked at my holiday photos I look horrible and I'm so, so depressed about the outcome of my operation... dont get me wrong its better than it was but I still don't look good enough, even worse when standing next to the likes of my good looking mate. Even when I bumped in2 the ex on holiday she said when she saw me, her and her pal didn't think it looked liked me and were asking if I was OK as if I was ill or something...

I'm so sick of people putting my appearnce down, I can't help but go in moods when I don't get attention from females, I hate being this way but it seems to be the only thing that can lift my confidence for a little period if I rarely get a compliment.

I find myslef angry at females, angry at the surgeon who did my operation, no one will help me, I've been to therapy and it can't solve what's going on in my head I've missed half my life worrying and looking in the mirror and feeling physically sick... the only time I am happy is when I'm sleeping, I sometimes don't want to wake up... I feel the only way is more surgery and my parents just tell me to grow up. I agree I am pathetic but I'm not very strong minded, I would love feel good about the way I look that's all.


Sorry for rambling on but I had to let it out some way or another

Hey man :) well lets put a few things right.. first of all the first chick.. OK you guys kissed.. then she goes and tells you she is seeing someone.. well my friend take it from me you don't need people like that.. that will just mack on someone while she is seeing someone else..

As for the good looking part.. trust me! That may make a difference to start with.. but really in the end.. it doesn't.. I tell you a story.. me and my mates went out one night.. I'm a good looking guy.. I get a lot of attention.. so anyway this girl comes up to me.. we start chatting.. she finds out I'm about as boring as a plant.. leaves me and goes with my other mate.. who isn't all that good looking.. now a year down the line there getting married.. but at the start.. I was like what the hell are you doing chick I'm so much hotter than that dude! You insane!. so that jelousenus between friends work both ways and the no attention from females.. not every night you go out you get attention.. I'm sure even the most hottiest guy won't get talk to every night.. everyone has them nights.. you should try going up to them and talking to them.. if your more confeident about yourself.. people will notice that about you and find it attractive I know its easy said than done... it doesn't matter if your hot or not.. makes no difference ;) your friend is probable jelouse about you in many ways.. so get that out of your mind


My girl friend left me for someone that.. well lets just say.. a Radish on a hot day.. was more attractive than this guy.. but! He probable has an awesome personality and treats her well

We all have things about our self.. that we don't like.. I panic about the most silly things and most of my friends go don't be silly.. what seems big to you may not seem big or anything to other people.. we tend to be the hardist on ourselves.. you should stop that ;) there are enough people in this world to put you down.. you don't need to do it to yourself.

As for the down days. We all have them.. I had one myself a few days ago.. I seem to always get girls but can never ever keep them! Its really starting to annoy me! Just because of the way I look they think I play and use me like a bit of ham! Now that sucks..

My advice to you.. is stop being so hard on yourself.. if you want to do more surgery and you think it will help do it.. but know when to stop.

How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

Anyway I hope this helps

Take care man

Thanks for your time Truefaith, I'm 27. Ive always had this problem with me appearance at school I got teased a lot, from females so now every time I am out I look for attention from them, as if to get reassuarance, this never really heals what I feel about myself. If I'm out with friends I'm worried if a girl will chat them up or find them better looking than me. My 1st long term relationship I got cheated on all the time, which didn't help and made me more insecure.

I can't live my life like this, constantly worrying about how I look and looking in the mirror for reassurance its killing me but my personality doesn't shine unless I feel good about the way I look, so sad but true. To be honest I don't really know who I am, i.e. do I actually have a personality. I've always felt I look different form everyone else, I've spoke the surgeon and he has basically said there is nothing else he can do.

I need all the attention or I'm not happy... I know this is totally wrong to be that way but it's the only thing that has gave me that high feeling whe it sometimes happens. Im not ugly and can sometimes look good, but when there is someone else in my presence who is better looking I feel threatened, I hate being jealous it's a horrible, horrible feeling

If it helps you are not alone. Other people are unhappy with their apearance. My problem is my height, I am 5.4 so lots of women will not look at me. Lads automaticicaly assume I am soft (they regret that!). And people in general automatically look at you like a court jester, so even though I have the wonderful ability to laugh at myself, I find this causes people to laugh but for the wrong reasons. I therefore have to compensate for this heightism on a daily basis. I have to be serious instead of funny. I can't go out with a girl above 5.4 which limits my dating field, also girl prefer taller guys, so even women the same height are not interested.

The only thing I can say, is look at the TV show. Less than perfect. That is the whole point, we are conditioned to look at the outside, not the inside. It Sucks... But your not alone.

I feel you. I am sorry, but don't let it bring you down.
THe world is a mess! I believe there are still amount of people who see inside first than outside.:)

My friend, it sounds like you need a few lessons in self-esteem. Your therapist ought to be helping you with this. If not, then maybe you need another therapist. You need to learn to love yourself and to convince yourself that there's nothing wrong with you, even if other people tell you otherwise. Regardless of your appearance, your personality or any other factor, there's not a damned thing wrong with you. Don't let your happiness be contingent upon getting attention from the females. Learn to love yourself and be happy with yourself first. Once you can project that outward, then you'll get the attention from the ladies.

I appreciate what your saying and thank you, the problem I am having is after the operation I had to correct my underbite I am not fully happy with the outcome, I feel more could be done. I have spoken to the surgeon and said I feel unsure about it, but he said clynically he has done all he can i.e. there's not much more he can do... I feel like booking another appointment with him and taking photos of me and my friends together to show him the difference, I feel as if I'm the only one that can see this but its clear in the photos and its getting me really angry that people won't listen or believe me.

Im finding myself going home from work sraight into bed to get the day over with, I have mirror wrdrobes in my room and every time I look in them I feel physically sick. I hate feeling this way and wouldn't wish it upon anyone... im embarrassed to say suicide has crossed my mind but do not have the bottle to do this nor would I want to hurt my family but I really can't live like this.

Thereapy is useless all they do is get you to write down in coloumns you feeelings and possible solutions or reasons I understand why they do this and this may help some people, but it doesn't change in one way the way I look, if this surgeon can't do anything for me I will never have a balanced self esteem

Look, you are creating more problems than you realize! You should just live your life as YOU! Think about it... we all derive from the monkey/gorrilla populations... how many of them do you think are hopping around wondering if they are sexy enough to get a mate? Most likely... NONE. Think about it, we must realize that we are all different and act and respiond to things in a different way. The issue that the Dr. was suppposed to correcting for you, was in fact not something that needed to be fixed. It is fine that you got it fixed, for the benefit of yourself esteem, but by your post, you are placing too much emphasis on your physical appearance... You must realize that not everyone was created to look like brad pitt... the reason for this is that those who don't look like him, are benfitted by having other qualitites... which will be attractive to the person that really loves you for who you are... don't waste your time changing yourself... spend that time being yourself as you are, and you will be surprised by the outcome!

Thanks for your kind words and everything you say makes sense it really does. Im finding it hard to deal with situations where people will pay my friends compliments in front of me but I seem to get nothing, its hard to love yourself when this happens. It makes you feel you partner will secretly always like someone more. I am not a person who is silly I'm quite intelligent I'm not very good though at understanding how females think or behave,sometimes I feel really uneasy around them as well.

Im always in situation where a girl will like me but as soon as she meets two of my mates in particular they seem to like them instead, so what do I do hide any girl that likes me away from them... I wouldn't do that as this is wrong and avoding problems which need to be solved.

When I do get attention from them it makes me feel really good about myself and gives me a huge lift... but its like a drug you keep needing more and more to keep the self esteem steady, I know myself I will be setting myself up for a fall but it's the only thing I know that can give me that high and I want to change I really do. When I don't get the attention and someone else does I feel I then criticise the way I look in the mirror I get sooooo stressed that I long to be someone else and not me, its so sad but true... I want to be as good as any of them but feel I haven't got what it takes. Yes of course personality is a key and other qualities, but I feel pyhsical attractivness is the first thing to start any spark off

You can always get a second opinion about the surgery to correct your underbite. But I really think you're making a mountain out of an anthill as far as that goes. I'm sure that, if you look around, you'll see plenty of attractive women out with guys who certainly don't look like any prize. I really feel that you have nothing to worry about as far as your appearance goes. I think that's becoming a scapegoat for deeper, more fundamental issues regarding your self-esteem and your level of self-confidence.

Yes to a degree there are more deeper issues but they do tie in with how I feel about the way I look, since my early years at school I constantly got teased about my mouth and I really do think this has affected me, I know kids can be cruel and at that age we are all immature but it still has affected me. I feel I have never fulfilled my life or been happy with who I am. I know it would help me a lot if I was happy with my appearance, I feel angry I'm 27 and always felt like this I've missed having a laugh when I've been young and all I have been is upset, angry and jealous at feeling different to others.

Sometimes I just wish I was someone else, every time I get rejected from a female or put down I take this very personally and take it as another insult. These are the other reasons I can't hold a relationship as I am far too sensitive now and fragile about my appearance.

If I didn't look like that at school I wouldn't have got the abuse I got and I believe I would not feel this way as much, I just feel there will be no end to this I feel constantly hurt and worry all the time