I personally, as a woman, if I really loved the person, need time to grieve, cry, then I pick myself up eventually and move on full steam ahead. But I have to allow myself the grieving process. Going on a date doesn't help because you are not yourself and yourself esteem and confidence are low. Sure, I could pick up a guy in a bar who is willing (uhhh-no offense guys, but it doesn't take much from an even half attractive woman-to find a more than willing participant). But none of that helps until true healing has taken place

If a man really, and (really) is the key word here... referring to a very committed 14 month relationship which he did seem very, very, in love... if they are really sad-why do they immediately run into another woman's arms ?

I know he did care deeply about me. He was a roller coaster of emotions the first month while I was still around-acting brazen and unaffected one day-laughing with his guy buddies, then the next day saying he didn't want to lose me-he'd do whatever it took-really seemed depressed.
Then back to Mr. No Emotion the next day... then back to sending me a love song the next ?

I would say the breakup was mutual, not due to a lack of sex, or love, but due to us both being at our wits end with misunderstandings and miscommunications. The sex was good, the love seemed to be there, we were both just nerve shot.

Why, then, did he immediately take up with someone else the second I left ?

Fear of being alone to face the pain ? Does this actually say he did love me a lot and needed a band aid by seeking another out so soon ?

Or, are men that heartless and once they are done they can just throw the past girlfriend away at the first new unzipping of the pants ?

What's up with this man ? Has he even cried in private over us... he seemed to love me intensely, very intensely... I mean he really seemed to love me deeply. Yet... he has not tried to get me back ? Will this hit him hard in a few months when the new relationship starts growing stale ?

Help me to understand this ? He either really didn't love me, flushed me down the toilet and called it good... or... he really is hurting and has grabbed onto what he can to mask the pain.

BTW... he did ask me back, several times in the last month-but I wasn't going to give in when the promises he made me never seemed to take place. So... he may have felt pretty rejected.
I was tired of forgiving him and his lies... I deserve better.

Even though I am doing the best thing for me, and he was not the right guy for me, it still hurts me immensely!! I loved him very much and will not get over this any time soon.

Why isn't he hurting... or is he hiding it from the world, and himself ?

Men, especially, help me out with this one, and please don't hurt me further by saying the "why buy the cow thing... or that the new stuff is just that much better... be honest... just not hurtful. THANK YOU !