Asked Apr 4, 2011, 08:05 PM
Our history: We were FWB for 1 1/2 yrs before dating but I always liked him and wanted more( I know... bad way to ever start a relationship). Then, he disappeared for 3 months w/o talking to me, ran into me at a friend's birthday party, apologized to me that night, said he never meant to hurt me, and didn't know why he left. He got my number from a friend the next day, and called to tell me he couldn't stop thinking about me all day at work. From that day on, we spent everyday together, and he made me his girlfriend. I pretty much moved into his apartment, and we never spent a day/night apart. Six months later, we had a horrible breakup. He called me some bad names, and completely broke my heart. I got a hold of him a day or two later, and he said we fought too much (trust issues, because I had caught him in some lies, and we started fighting about it). Come to find out, he starts dating someone pretty soon after me, and she moves in with him. (BTW, I found a picture of her in his truck a month before we broke up. When we started talking again 9 months later, he told me he heard I thought he cheated on me, and wanted to let me know he never cheated on me. He had known her in the past, and that was an old picture, he said it was just a coincidence he started dating her.)
So... 9 months goes by...
Present time: I let my ex come back into my life (I wrote him on fb & said happy birthday), and we started talking for a little over a month. He was calling/texting me almost everyday. He took me out to lunch. Then he came over to my house twice after that. We ended up kissing both times, and he tried to have sex with me the second time. But I refused (because of our past, I was scared to get that close to him again so soon, and w/o a commitment). Well he ended up "playing with himself" because he "couldn't help it", and I wouldn't have sex with him. Pretty much as soon as he was done, he left (he gets up at 4:30am for work, so he said he was tired & still had to go home and shower and get ready for work in the am). I felt a little bit used afterward, and he could tell by my face something was wrong. So I just told him I felt like as soon as he got off, he left, and it would've been nice if he had stayed a little longer. We hugged & kissed goodbye, and he text me as soon as he got home and told me he had a great time with me, and wanted to hangout with me again soon. That he was sorry for trying to do anything with me, and wouldn't try next time because he didn't want me feeling that way, and doesn't like seeing me sad. I wrote back, and told him I had a good time too, and we said goodnight. Well two days later, I called him, then sent a text, no response ALL day. The day after that, I blocked my number. He picked up and I asked if he was ignoring me. He said it wasn't like that, and didn't have a reason for not getting back to me at all the day before. I text him when we got off the phone and told him I felt like an idiot for letting him back into my life, because he always disappears, and I always come back because I see something special in him. No response at all. He's just completely cut me out of his life again. No reason. No explanation. And the time before the last time when I saw him, as we were saying goodbye he said "I love you...I always have". I'm just soooooo dumbfounded how you can tell your ex you love them, you had a great time, blah blah blah. Then just cut them out for no reason. Please help me
THis is the only person I feel like I've truly loved, he's the only one I would let come back in and out of my life like this. I can't do it anymore though. I won't let him back if he ever tries again. I just need to know why he's like this. His dad did this to his mom & him & brothers when they were growing up all throughout his childhood. Everything would be going seemingly fine, then he would just split & go on drug binges for months, then come back, stay for awhile, and do it again. He did that for 14 yrs. So I don't know, if it has to do with that and he's exactly like his dad or what. I need help. I'm so hurt, I need to know why he does this to me :"(. Someone PLEASE HELP ME figure this out. Why is he like this?? How can he disappear on someone he "loves"? Has he never truly cared about me like he says, and I'm not the one, or is he just messed up in the head? What is it