2nd cheater in 2 years

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I seem to attract cheaters or look likea doormant. My first one was a Minister and went back to his wife along with me and another woman. I found him out and was enraged, left him and got him out my life. His wife & I actually shared stories, but she was his doormat too. It was hard since I fell in love with him, but did leave him, wouldn't speak to him and he stalked me for a little while. I put a restraining order and had a detective on him. I got over him finally when I put these things in place.

This last boyfriend, I met and spoke on the phone from Dec - Feb. Then we became exclusive (his words) in Feb 05. To-date 9-16-05, I broke it off since he was exploiting himself on line and on his job. He talked to woman on the phone without my knowledge - his cell phone never stopped ringing. He was a "pretty boy" and knew I would have problems with the woman. Well, I found out the last woman he called, he crossed the line and visited. I found her phone number on his cell phone when it rang. I called her to find out who was calling my boyfriend. We spoke cordially and I apologized for going to this extreme, but we both caught him with his pants down. She dated him twice when he played his first dissapearing act on me. When I confronted him, he accused me of spying on him. I did what I had to do I told him since he cheated on me once sexually with his wife, which he told me, and again by phoning these woman on line, betraying my trust, and lastly going to a woman house when he met her from one of his job calls.

This betraying hurt I have is unbearable, but read these stories of valuing yourself that get me on the right track. I pray for the hurt to stop and cry all night.

This "boyfriend" and I met each other to get closure on the relationship and discuss ourselves about this relationship. He stated he needed to be alone and right his wrongs and not be with anyone, and me of course, to continue hurting. If I had not spied, he would have kept on. I don't suggest seeking the secret, it can badly burn. But I was not going to ostrich my neck in the sand with anyone. Better to know what your dealing with. The Truth always stands and a Lie comes to Truth.

Unfortunately, I did beg him to stop and we start over, but it was a moment of panic. He still wants to call on me, but, of course, I indicated it was our last view of each other and I will not entertain him again.

Thanks for the reading and also letting me vent my situation.
((PEACE))

letmeno

If I had a dime for every tear that I shed, I would make oprah winfery look like a charity case.
You have got to have total faith in me when I say, it will be o.k. and it will eventually go away.
what i have found out from experience, the most absolute worst thing that you can do is get drunk, or sit around and feel sorry for yourself.
do not even think about looking in the mirror and asking yourself what is wrong with me? Look in the mirror and say his damned loss, what the hell was he thinking?
spend the day at a spa with the girls, get manicures, pedicures, a make over. Go buy a new outfit, the hell with it, go buy a new wardrobe. Then go out and party as if your life depended on it. If you feel @ all like being alone will cause you to sink into depression again, invite some friends over, have a slumber party, or sleep over one of your friends house. What I am saying is keep busy and keep the focus on YOU! How good YOU look, how smart that YOU are and how YOU are going to go on with YOUR life.
I know it hurts like hell right now but trust me it will get better.

It sounds like you have a good handle on it and you are on the right track, it's just getting through the hard part. You are gonna be alright girl!!

Wildcat21

What's the saying woman say - "you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince"

You've had frogs...........MY STRONG ADVICE, AS ALWAY DATE MORE THAN ONE PERSON.

It's happeend to me so many times - the first couple months people can put on a front and then you REALLY learn about that person.

I am wondering if you make yourself too available to these men? Too needy?? There are men out there that WILL take advantage of you if you are too available to them.