I recently started dating a girl and we are beginning to get close. The relationship started when we met randomly through a group of friends. In the beginning, she approached me and started talking to me and poking me and stuff (messing around). I spoke to her and we got on well I think. She is a really interesting person and I found her very attractive from the moment I saw her, although I thought she was out of my league. The problem is that I am extremely shy around girls I like. I just avoid them and feel very uncomfortable with them. I know people will say they can relate to this, but it is really bad for me - I have had therapy previously for this, and am seeking professional help. I just can't look them in the eye. I don't understand why. I am OK sometimes with friends, although in a group I struggle. I don't think I am that bad looking and I sometimes get girls telling me I am cute, and I have had girls chase me before. They are always pushy, trying to get me to do stuff, and go places with them, but I just say no. When I then think about it, I get sad because I want to be there.

The girl in question is making a massive effort with me. She keeps asking me out, inviting me to go places which I really want to go to. I like spending time with her. She is beautiful, funny, crazy and I enjoy myself when I with her. But I just can't stop being so shy and I make excuses to not go. She knows how shy I am, when she kisses me, I just look down at the floor and feel awkward. She hugs me and she smells beautiful, I want to kiss her and tell her that I think she is beautiful but I just feel so uncomfortable. I wish I could tell her this. I know this must sound pathetic, but I just don't know what to do anymore. My previous relationships have broken down because of this, and I don't want it to keep happening.

You sound young, so shyness is to be expected as it is new. The only way is to branch out a little bit. Gradually start going places with her, maybe once a week to start and ease into it. You have to wake up every morning, look in the mirror and say "I'm a great guy, I have a lot to offer" A goal I set for myself when I was shy, like you, was to meet one new person everyday. Just strike up a conversation about a school subject, new movie out, just anything to be put on the radar.

I am 23 and my girlfriend is 20, so we are not young. People always told me that I would grow out of it but it never happened. I try to meet new people and sometimes I am OK if they are cool and relaxed. Its worse when I like a girl. I just avoid them at all costs.

Just talk to her :) explain you're like this , and she does seem to understrand you! I bet she finds it so cute and loves it! You're lucky to have a girl like her :) just try... I know its hard.. and its not helful me saying it.. but yeah I'm similar but not so shy as you... I just deicded.. I AM NOT GOING TO LOSE HER!! So I didn't.. ( for 18 months... lol.. but don't worry we're getting back on track now :) )