Why am I so jealous and possessive?
I am extremely jealous whenever my boyfriend talks to other girls that I don't know, or even some that I do know, and like. I am also constantly worrying that I am not attractive enough for him, or at least not anymore. I have gained a lot of weight since we first knew each other, but every time I bring up that I have gained weight, he denies this and says I'm being ridiculous. He tells me that I am beautiful all over, and quite often. (But I get so jealous because I know it is impossible even when you're dating to not find other people attractive, like strangers. But that is not the case for me, I hardly find other people attractive at all, all my attention is focused on him, he is the only person I find attractive.) But I am still worried that if he goes away to another college in another city, he will find someone else, or be unfaithful to me. I do know that he loves me very much, and that he has been in love with me for a very long time, maybe even all over again when we got back together five months ago.
Also, I seem to have not gotten over the fact that he dated someone I was barely friends with, who I stopped being friends with because she pursued him while we were just beginning to be friends. (Me and my boyfriend had been broken up, but got back together after they had been dating for almost five months.) I read her old on-line journal sometimes, and it makes me very upset, since she was very doting on him and vice versa (not saying he isn't with me), she has not deleted it, which I'm sure she did to torture me. (She created a new one soon after they broke up.) I am not sure who to be mad at. They do hate each other quite a bit, particularly because he lied to her about how he felt about me (he still had strong feelings for me while they were dating, which is what lead him back to me a little while before they broke up). She still mentions him sometmies in her new journal, but also mentions her ex-boyfriend from a year ago; I'm thinking she does this because she was too heavily obsessed with the both of them. I know he does not have feelings for her at all now, but I see what he wrote about her back then, and sometimes my confidence in him sways, and I think that he only came back to me because I was his only option. (We have known each other for almost two years now, the first time we dated it was for almost nine months.)
How do I help myself get over these things? Am I being foolish?
I'm not sure how to feel.
EDIT:
I just found out from a girl that used to talk to him during the two weeks before we started dating again than while they were talking on-line, the subject of nude pictures came up. She was with a friend, and so they found a fake picture of someone nude, blurred out the face, and sent it to him. He told her she had nice boobs. He had told me not that long ago that she had sent him naked pictures, and she looked fat in them. I don't know who to believe, but I don't care which of them is telling the truth, it still makes me upset, even if he wasn't attracted to her, just the fact that he told her that. I want to bring it up, but at the same time I know that would be stupid to bring something up from almost half a year ago.
I NEED MORE ADVICE, this is killing me.