I just broke up an eight years long distance relationship with my boyfriend. I was the one to break up the relationship. The main reason is he kept wanting me to make a commitment, but I'm not ready for it. He said he doesn't want to wait anymore, and he's living in pain and wants to get his life back... so I told him that I'm still not ready to make any commitment to get marry, if he feels this way, then I just have to end our relationship. He was mad and agreed to end our relationship. This is not the first time, we broke up couple of time before but we got back together because we really love each other...

I know I've hurt him and I feel really guilty... although I initiated the breakup, but why am I feeling so hur too ? It's only been 2 days after the breakup, I missed him already. I feel so down, not in the mood to do anything, don't want to eat... part of me want him back, but part of me want to end it. Why do I have this kind of feeling?

Please help and give me some advice