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    jolienoire's Avatar
    jolienoire Posts: 917, Reputation: 166
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    #1

    Nov 7, 2007, 01:02 PM
    Who handles break-ups better men or women?
    Relationships.


    But who handles them better?

    But because women are more open to talk about their hurt, that leaves women curious as to how the male is feeling about the breakup.

    Also My question is what happens if the man really loves a women and is forced to break up with her but not because he wants to. EX: Personal growth, stability, family issues?
    AustProd6's Avatar
    AustProd6 Posts: 88, Reputation: 15
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    #2

    Nov 8, 2007, 12:52 AM
    WHAT IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO??
    Then why would he. What man would break up with the women he loves unless he is the shallowest B#@#$%d in the world.
    I was with a women I loved for 18 years and always new she held me back in my personal growth stability (BPD left 14 times) and family issues (Noone liked her).
    The only thing that is important is, if he is love.
    WHO HANDLES BREAK UPS THE BETTER??
    It's not a sex thing M or F.
    It's who ever is strongest to move forward and pick themselves up, dust themselves off and find the next life challenge.
    Both sexes can wollow in there own depression (Hell I did) and both can be strong and move forward.
    The key to the success is whoever seems to be moving on he most quick.
    Not necessarily actually doing so but appearing to be.
    Bluerose's Avatar
    Bluerose Posts: 1,521, Reputation: 310
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    #3

    Nov 8, 2007, 05:24 AM
    "Who handles break-ups better men or women?"

    Neither. Men just hide how they are really feeling cause they think it's the man thing to do. Everybody hurts.

    How do you deal with a break up when it wasn't what you wanted. Is that what you meant? The same way you do even if it was what you wanted. Everyone needs to adjust and re-adjust. Keeping busy is the best way. Even if you don't feel like doing anything, make yourself do something. Keep busy. Do over your home, your wardrobe, anything - just keep busy. There is a process you have to go through akin to grieving. And you can't rush it. Accept that and you will have won half the battle if not the war.
    jolienoire's Avatar
    jolienoire Posts: 917, Reputation: 166
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    #4

    Nov 8, 2007, 08:06 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by AustProd6
    WHAT IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO????????
    Then why would he. What man would break up with the women he loves unless he is the shallowest B#@#$%d in the world.
    I was with a women I loved for 18 years and always new she held me back in my personal growth stability (BPD left 14 times) and family issues (Noone liked her).
    The only thing that is important is, if he is love.
    WHO HANDLES BREAK UPS THE BETTER???
    It's not a sex thing M or F.
    It's who ever is strongest to move forward and pick themselves up, dust them selves off and find the next life challenge.
    Both sexes can wollow in there own depression (Hell I did) and both can be strong and move forward.
    The key to the sucess is whoever seems to be moving on he quickest.
    Not necessarily actually doing so but appearing to be.

    Well, I asked this question because my boyfriend and I just separated, he cried his heart out because he didn't want to. His parents so called influenced his decision by threating to cut him off... therefore he ended it with me to please them, but I am confused because he is still calling me and pretty much wanting to know what I am doing he is miserable, but I haven't contacted him back nor responded to any of his emails.. I am just as hurt as he is and I willingly admit it... I don't know if I should contact him or not. Or give him his space. He basically ended it with me because I am divorced with two children, and of mixed background. His family is traditional Italian, who wants nothing more but to see there son with a Nice Italian woman as he stated who doesn't have the baggage.. They said they like me but it will never work because where just different. BTW I feel it's a bunch of crap my ex husband was italian, and my children are bi-racial, his family loves me... so when he told me this I feel it's an excuse... SO I am confused in the meantime, I feel like I am in high school all over again.
    Bluerose's Avatar
    Bluerose Posts: 1,521, Reputation: 310
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    #5

    Nov 8, 2007, 09:01 AM
    jolienoire,

    If it's a cultural thing that makes things complicated. I wonder if refusing to take his calls might force him to make some grown up decisions about his own life.

    Perhaps some distance will awaken him to the reality of letting his parents tell him who he can see and who he can't.

    Then on the other hand maybe his parents think he is getting too serious and they are worried about him taking on someone with children. It’s a lot of responsibility.

    Us parents still see them as kids I’m afraid and we only want to look out for them. It’s hard to let go completely.
    Bluerose's Avatar
    Bluerose Posts: 1,521, Reputation: 310
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    #6

    Nov 8, 2007, 09:28 AM
    jolienoire,

    If you really want this guy you may have to be the one to help him stand up to his parents and convince them that he knows what he is doing. Good luck. I hope it all works out well.
    Jiser's Avatar
    Jiser Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 281
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    #7

    Nov 8, 2007, 11:49 AM
    Hmm in mY case my last breakup hit me well bad. Really bad! Learnt a lot though so that was good : )
    jolienoire's Avatar
    jolienoire Posts: 917, Reputation: 166
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    #8

    Nov 8, 2007, 11:51 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Jiser
    Hmm in mY case my last breakup hit me well bad. Really bad! Learnt alot though so that was good : )

    Well as long as we learn! Hope your better now!! I mean I haven't cried about my breakup which is shocking considering I am a very emotional woman, I guess because I did nothing wrong...
    stefani1's Avatar
    stefani1 Posts: 47, Reputation: 4
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    #9

    Nov 8, 2007, 12:57 PM
    I think that if he allowed himelf to do this and said that it was due to his parents concerns, well maybe deep down inside, those are some of his same concerns. If he truly is in love with you, nothing will keep him away, not even your past. For now I would say don't call or contact him. I went through the same thing recently, and well it just elps the whole healing process a lot more quick if you have no contact with this person. I when tout and bought a book called "It's called a break up because it is broken" I was so intrigued I read it in 4 hours! Lol. You should try it, it might help =)
    good luck with everything.
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #10

    Nov 13, 2007, 09:27 PM
    Hi Jolie
    There is also a book called "Who stole my cheese" which is very good at pointing out what to do when you have lost something. I have a copy if you would like me to email it to you.
    jolienoire's Avatar
    jolienoire Posts: 917, Reputation: 166
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    #11

    Nov 13, 2007, 09:28 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by friend4u178
    Hi Jolie
    There is also a book called "Who stole my cheese" which is very good at pointing out what to do when you have lost something. I have a copy if you would like me to email it to you.

    Sure Would love that.. thanks
    mafiaangel180's Avatar
    mafiaangel180 Posts: 629, Reputation: 103
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    #12

    Nov 14, 2007, 05:20 AM
    From what I understand, the grieving process is totally different. I could be wrong, but while women are confronting their feelings in the beginning, guys are trying to bury theirs. So when the time comes when the guy actually must face his feelings, that is usually the time when the girls are getting over it. So while we grieve, it appears as though the heartless b*stards (lol) aren't. But on one side, men are conditioned to be these brave creatures who put up walls. Just my opinion, but men have it easier.

    As for your other question... I've had a few boyfriends breakup with me even though they loved me. I think they eventually come around to the idea that they were wrong. But sometimes it's too late.

    I would continue to do the No Contact thing... it seems as though it's been successful for you so far.
    MissVonDutch's Avatar
    MissVonDutch Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Nov 14, 2007, 07:42 AM
    Well be it male or female we all have hearts and can be quite sensitive.
    Dealing with breakup is not pleasant at all and I personally think Womanhandle it better. They are more tearful and open up when they are hurting whilst men bottles it all up. Rather let it out in the open instaed of dying a slow death.

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