My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half now, and he still wants to party! I am sorry, but I just don't think it is right for my boyfriend to go to the bar 2 or 3 nights a week till 2 or 4 am without me. I feel disrespected and I also feel alone. Does anyone agree with me, or am I being silly?

Thanks

zippit

I know you feel that way but you have to understand OLD habits are hard to break.
he needs to understand that he is NEEDED and wanted at home and that this time at the bar is hurting the relationship in order for him to understand that he needs to know where the relationship IS?
he might say"Im not giving my night life up for no girlfriend"
so where are you at? you need to make him feel like he has priorities and they are with you
and get ready for the "why whats so important?" nagging isnt going to get it.

justcurious82

We cook out on the grill. Or we play card games, or watch movies. We have a really good time together, but it is those nights where he says I don't care what you want, that are tearing us apart.

justcurious82

I don't try to nag. Some nights I don't say anything about him going out, and strolling in drunk at 3 am. I also try to go out with him, but I just want to sit at home some too. But I feel like this is just not right. I feel like I deserve to be treated better. I am a DAMN good girlfriend. I cook, clean, and AM good to him. I just don't understand why I am not enough for him to come home to?

CFZD

First of all, personal space is very important, if he goes without you then it is clear he doesn't want to see you during that time. Depend on what he does in the bar, if he goes there to get drunk then look for girls that's a BIG red flag. If he goes there to have a social moment with his own circle of friends without getting drunk, it's not as bad as you believe. Personal space is needed in ANY type of relationship ( including friendship).

zippit

really im telling you its just a old habit.
if im wrong tell me but here is how it goes
he gets off work calls you tells you he will be home after a drink
two hours later he/or you calls "where you at?" ohh so and so showed up
im about to leave 2 hrs later he still isnt home

is that even close?

justcurious82

He gets terribly drunk and then drives home. We get along very well other than this, so I don't know why he would be trying to get away from me?

itried

Here's what I think the problem is: You don't want him to have a life outside of you. Plus, I think you feel that whatever makes you happy should also make him happy. If this is the person he was when you first met him then don't try to change him because he will just wind up resenting and then dumping you. In a relationship you're supposed to share interests; what you shouldn't be doing is trying to assimilate yours into his life (while he gives up his).

Also, are you with him because you love/like him or because you don't want to be alone so you just got together with any man?

The drinking and driving thing is just stupid on his part, though.

zippit

he needs to know where the boundaries are for the relationship

justcurious82

Yes, you are very right!! Or it seems like every other night is someone elses birthday.

zippit

your going to get all the advise you want this shows its just a old habit and it will take alot to break it.