Where are you in the healing process?

Ash123 · Oct 26, 2007, 11:18 AM

I am glad you are doing well.

Sometimes a little break in communication (by the breaker) can help in the healing process.

Glad NC has gotten you closer to the New You.

Vulf · Oct 26, 2007, 11:36 AM

Well there's important things to remember. First and foremost is, that this new person is NOT your Ex. Any comparisons you draw could be your downfall.
That said, breakups are never easy. If you can talk to your ex and still be cool then the worst has passed. Good for you! Keeping yourself busy is probably the wisest move you could make in that situation, it cirtainly helps the healing process. Self destructive behaviour is no way to go, I learned that lesson some years ago, Luckily I snapped out of it. Not because there was any real intervention, but because I realised one day that it was the most counter productive way to deal with anything. It may have made me a stronger person, but it was a hard lesson learned. I hope other people can learn from it.
Focus on the possitives, for as many f'd up and cold things you can see in the world there ARE beautiful things out there. Keep your eyes, and your mind, open to them....you;ll do ok (^,^)

enigmagnetic · Oct 26, 2007, 02:28 PM

I'm at a little over 5 months. I went 5 straight months with willingly and forcefully avoiding her like the plague. She contacted me about 3 weeks ago and I've realized that either way I'll be fine. It would be nice if we could be friends, but if she doesn't have the purest intentions, hasta la vista baby! I've realized her flaws and I no longer feel depressed nor sad when I think of her. I've also got way too much on my hands in terms of a career and my scholastic ventures to really focus on her. Just this week I had completely forgotten she had emailed me again so it had been two weeks since I replied to her email, today. She asked me how I was doing and I was so gallantly and pridefully honest, well listen honey I'm doing masterfully, increasing my ventures into my career and excelling and I've got no time for kid games so if you aren't capable of losing the ambiguity I can't continue in this repertoire with you, at least the gist of what I said. I feel good about it. We will see how it works out.

madaman · Oct 26, 2007, 03:02 PM

That's good to hear, I think the thing that helped me the most was knowing and seeing other people getting through it eventually.

little firefly · Oct 26, 2007, 03:53 PM

It's going on six months for me, and I'm still dealing with a lot of pain. I try to keep myself busy and spend more time with friends. Dating anyone new right now isn't even an option for me. I'm not nearly healed enough or ready for any kind of relationship. I know that all I would do is compare whoever I would be with to my ex and that wouldn't be fair.

Like you, I think of my Ex WAY too much. He's with someone else now and I know that I don't really even cross his mind. I know that I will eventually feel better and I am looking forward to when that day comes. I'm ready to get my life back again. It hasn't helped that I was recently diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, but I'm on meds and am just taking things day to day.

By the way, thank you for asking. Coming to this site has really been helping me to heal. It's nice to know that there are others that are dealing with the same stuff and know where I'm coming from, although I hate for anyone to have to go through this at all.

bummedout4 · Oct 26, 2007, 04:02 PM

Well I am still a newbie, going on 12 days NC. Well 12 days since phone conversation , 9 since last texts, so I guess 9 days total NC. Left it on a decent note, she knows how I feel and what I want. So now its up to her, she has to figure things out on her own and deal with her life w/out me. She is seeing someone new but probably just a rebound since she probably doesn't want to be lonely or to distract her from her other issues. So I am getting better, I still miss her a lot, think about her a lot but the urge to call is not as strong. I still miss talking to her, but I have been able to hold off texting her or calling her. Her birthday is in 2 weeks and I will be out of town but might send her a card? Well that's all I have for now, I am shooting for 30 days NC and then see how I feel. Thanks for everyone's support and advice.

Diamondstar03 · Oct 26, 2007, 04:32 PM

I feel strange sometimes. One day I can be like..... Not a care in the world about her, then the next day I will be down cause I really miss her so much. NC is working for me I think. It has been a total of 10 days once again from my failure of responding to her call. 3 months since the breakup. She knows how I feel and its up to her. I have been seeing others, it does suck that I do compare and I need to stop that. But at least it is making me feel more like myself being around other people and making new experences. I sometimes still can't believe this has happened to me with her, but well at least I have me. It has been a hard road so far. I just wish it could be different. I wish I would not have answered the phone and sent texts last week. I will not do that ever ever again. The only thing that is really bothering me is that the Holidays are coming up and I just feel sad we are not going to be together. I hope I feel better and stronger before then.

little firefly · Oct 26, 2007, 05:06 PM

Lets hope we all feel better and stronger before then.

needofhelp · Oct 26, 2007, 05:17 PM

It's been 5 weeks for me and it's had it's peaks and valleys. It doesn't feel like it has been better, but in some ways, I am better than before. Like you I have found this site very helpful. There are a lot of people here that have given great advice and support.

I think about more than I want, and the thoughts overcome me.

Where are you in the healing process?

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