I am just really curious, there are alot of regulars on here and ive read their stories over the last few months. Just wondering how everyone is doing.

Personally Im at almost 3 months since the breakup. First month and a half was absolute hell, but its gotten way better. Went 55 days NC before she called me this week to ask something stupid. I thought I would be back to day 1 but an hour after talking to her I was fine again thank goodness. I still think about her WAY too much, but I have gone hours without the thought of her crossing my mind. I have focused more on work again, and am eating/sleeping properly again. Outlook is neutral (at least its not super negative). I have been seeing someone new casually but its really tough because of the whole 'my ex did this better etc' hopefully that goes away soon.


So how is everyone else doing? I feel some weird bond with all of you going through this CRAP at the same time as I.

MissingHim2Much

Thats my question as well, WHEN is the HURT supposed to stop? I've been lucky in the fact I have'nt seen my ex with his new gf and all her kids but my friend seen them at McDonalds on Halloween. Just hearing about it broke my heart. It's almost like the faster they get on with their lives the slower we heal. I have'nt heard that they are getting married or anything but I did have a dream that they did and he chose my Birthday as the date just to be mean.

little firefly

I know what you mean MissingHim, one thing that still gets me is the fact that i got an e-mail from my ex a while back telling me that i had done nothing wrong and that his feelings for me had been real. So, why now her and not me? I haven't had any dreams about them getting married, but i could so see them choosing a day like my birthday just to be mean. The thing is, it wouldn't be my ex that would choose that day, it would be his gf.

She and i had become friends while i was with my ex (she had been his best friend for a few years) When he broke up with me to try reconcile with his now ex wife (they had been seperated for a couple of years), She acted so upset for me, and wanted things to work out between me and my ex. According to her i was the best thing that had ever happened to him. When the reconciliation didn't work and the divorce proceedings started she and my ex suddenly started seeing each other in a different light (only a month into his divorce). I honestly believe she was just waiting for the moment to come that she could have him for herself.

MissingHim2Much

[quote=little firefly]I know what you mean MissingHim, one thing that still gets me is the fact that i got an e-mail from my ex a while back telling me that i had done nothing wrong and that his feelings for me had been real. So, why now her and not me? I haven't had any dreams about them getting married, but i could so see them choosing a day like my birthday just to be mean. The thing is, it wouldn't be my ex that would choose that day, it would be his gf.

I don't honestly think he would choose my Birthday to get married. It was just a bad dream. He was a good bf and treated me really good throughout our whole relationship.

I don't really think he will actually marry this tramp... I hope he has more brains then that. Rumor has it he's only with her to get a baby. For some reason we were unable to have one and something he said to me about a week before he left leads me to believe it might be the case. He said he wanted to have a baby with me but if we couldn't he would have one with some random girl..

madaman

Yeah that is something ive been wondering myself, when IS the hurt going to stop? Its getting ridiculous at this point. Im lucky that I live in a big enough city that i probably wont run into my ex (fingers crossed) but I dread the day that happens if so.

Bubbler

There is an old saying time is a healer !

Everyone is different when it come's to a break up, some people can heal over night and for some it takes along long time before the hurt goes away..

Alot of times the Ex can play in your mind and playing a cd, going out to a bar eating out at a certain place can bring alot of hurt back to the front of your mind.

Thats why its good to keep yourself busy and moving forwards, that person will always be a memory, but over time people learn to let go ! In time that person may only crop up at certain times of the year etc, but for the most part as time goes by you will maybe wake up one day and not think about them.

Chery

I usually experience that the posters on relationships have to endure a lot of time getting over their latest mucked up relationsip and I try to help them throught the process.

My relationship ended abruptly because I received a diagnosis of cancer recently. When HE found out, the lock on his apartment door was changed the next day. No 'sorry but I cannot handle this', no 'too bad', no emotions whatsoever. It hurt like heck, and I'm upset because some of my stuff is still in his place, but guess what, I'm so happy that I'm rid of this unemotional self-serving egotistical %&stard, that it does not bother me to be alone. I am enjoying the time I have left doing things I like doing, staying up all night watching sci-fi, or playing on my computer, going out with my grandson, and spending more time with my neighbors and friends who know both of us and they have noticed a positive change in me.

So, guess what, it does take time to heal, some slow, some fast, it depends on the circumstances..

There is hope for all of us, and happiness at the end of that road, no matter how long we travel on it.

Wishing you all a wonderful journey in any and all of your relationships and hope they are better than mine ever was!

Love,
Chery

Sure do.. not to spend it with anyone that irritates me and enjoying every moment!

chris08

I've not long been dumped myself, and it's starting to really knock my confidence, i just seem to do too much for my girlfriend or try and be as nice as i can if you know what i mean, my ex had no job and i did everything for us, paid for holidays etc. it really upsets me. it's as though I feel scared of having another relationship, the fear of getting hurt again just hits me.

Chery

Build your confidence back up, that's priority number 1.
If you cannot learn how to handle rejection - which is something we all have to live with - then you need to build a log cabin way out in the woods, become a hermit for the rest of your life. That's the only way to prevent you from further experiences, good or bad. That's life.

When you were a baby, you fell down a lot, got back up and kept on going. That was all a learning process and now you can walk without falling down, and dress yourself, use a fork and knife, and don't need diapers anymore. Well, that was also a part of life you had no control over until you had help, guidance and gained experience..

Do the things that you can control well, be confident in them, and then let life just happen as it does to all of us and learn. You'll have new experiences, make new memories, make new mistakes, experience new interests and happiness - all that - until the day comes where you take your last breath. And at each step of the way, you'll find good people that will help you, bad people that will try to hinder your progress, and support from family and friends that you didn't know would ever come... so live life to the fullest, dear and I promise - it's not all that bad.

Welcome to the Human race. It sucks some times, but it's better than being a roach or fly, at least from our point of view. They might love their life, but humans are different.

jolienoire

I was doing Great! Until yesterday I go home to find a package, with a bottle of wine some lottery scratch off's a note and some kind words! He personally delivered to my house and I was not home thank GOD because I would have went back to day one... THis was the first form of contact since we broke up and I think he was expecting me to be home! He could of mailed me my keys, and Emailed me a letter But why did he do this?? He promised to keep in touch, and the letter stated I would always hold a special place in his heart(he sprayed his cologne).. yada yada he loves me, it's so hard to be away from me but he needs this time to think... As It was a nice gesture and he didn't have to do that... I didn't know how to respond, I just texted him very generic Saying Thank you. I didn't get all mushy although I did get butterflies to see something waiting for me when I arrived. This EFFORT he made has really confused me, and I was doing great without the contact I would have preferred he mailed my things As he told me he would. Why Did he do this and why go out of his way, making a 2 hour drive, I think he was expecting me to be home..

BMI

Great topic.

I went 3 months NC and it was hard some days and real easy the next. ALAS I caved and called her after 3 months, not really sure why? She picked up, we had a good talk bout nothing and now we chat on MSN. It goes against the NC, which makes perfect sense, I guess it will depend on how things turn out to say what would have been best.

I guess thats the killer part, the "what if" i call or "what if" something changed, leads us either one way or the other. I hope you all are content with whichever road you chose, cause realtionship pain really,really, sucks