I am just really curious, there are alot of regulars on here and ive read their stories over the last few months. Just wondering how everyone is doing.

Personally Im at almost 3 months since the breakup. First month and a half was absolute hell, but its gotten way better. Went 55 days NC before she called me this week to ask something stupid. I thought I would be back to day 1 but an hour after talking to her I was fine again thank goodness. I still think about her WAY too much, but I have gone hours without the thought of her crossing my mind. I have focused more on work again, and am eating/sleeping properly again. Outlook is neutral (at least its not super negative). I have been seeing someone new casually but its really tough because of the whole 'my ex did this better etc' hopefully that goes away soon.


So how is everyone else doing? I feel some weird bond with all of you going through this CRAP at the same time as I.

little firefly

I can relate Missinghim2much. My ex is now with his best female friend, so when he and i were together i got to know her pretty good. She does things that are pretty questionable which makes me wonder why my ex, who is pretty devout in his faith and has a 5 year old son, would even want to have a relationship with her.

A girl friend of mine ran into my ex and his girl about a week ago. She didnt realize that she had gone to school with her and so she called me asking why he would want to be with her because she had always been such a loser. I told her that that would be something that my ex would have to figure, out and when he does he need not call me. He filled his pig sty with mud, now let him wallow in it!.....I'm not bitter, just brutally honest.

Chery

Hey there missing...

At least you get a break now and then. I live downstairs from mine. When he found out I have cancer, he changed the lock to his door so that I cannot even get my stuff out - I'll worry about that later though, and will get it eventually. I'm not as hurt as you were because he was such an a-hole that I'm actually glad that he 'dumped' me

He purposely walks by my window near the backyard, sits on the picnic table near the fishpond every day, and I also hear him walk around upstairs, so there is no way I can 'forget' him. But now I'm so busy planning the life I have left, playing music he never liked and turning up the volume so that he no longer stays outside too long - that's my little way of getting revenge and enjoying music I neglected while I was with him. I also know it bothers him that his son and I get along, our neighbors visit me more than they did before now, so he is lonelier than I am. I even hum some tunes when I take the trash out just to show him that he does not bother me and that gets him even more upset.

I also have comfort in knowing that he will wind up on dialysis because I maintained his diet, nursed him and made sure he kept his blood pressure down. Also know he has no new 'bed bunny' or anyone else to cook for him. His son (my ex-son-in-law - long story) still goes out with me and my daughter and grandson. We go to parks and fast-food places and don't invite dumbhead to go along. I rent my place from son-in-law and my ex actually wanted him to give me notice to move.. but I'm still here. The way I see it is that it's his LOSS, not mine, and you will soon see it that way too, no matter how many 'ladies' he goes with - he will NEVER forget you and that can comfort you also. You are special, he's nothing.

Invite a new friend to cook with you, try out some new menus and make new memories, it's never too late to get a taste for something else and soon that old stuff will be very stale - literally.
Give the place a new paintjob, buy new bathroom mats, change soaps and rearrange the bedroom.

Keep up living your life to the fullest and you'll have new memories before you know it and he'll be a creep from the past, and we all have them.

All the best hon... things will get better, I promise.

So, you see, whether we are female or male, survival first, advancement second, and a new life on it's way!

Chery

We've all been through cruelty, hurtful and even hatefulness, but I promise it will get better. Write a diary and re-read some of the threads here and you'll see that the changes you are going through right now will make you stronger. Five years from now, you'll be so indifferent because your life will be so much more balanced and you'll seek new adventures.

Lots of luck, and many hugs.

Fixer12

Things have been going pretty well for me. It has been about... 2 1/2 months since break up. We unfortunitly started contacting again last week. That was probably one of the dumber things i could do. It took me down for about 2-3 days just cause she was trying to convience me she loved me, only she just wanted someone to talk to too. Things will get better. i have made awesome new friends, adn have been meeting new people.

Unfortunitly i have still been having the same probel of compairing new girls to her. Which is something i need to get over and fast. I am picking myself back up. Thankfully i will not be going back to my hometown until around christmas time. I see that as more of a blessing now.

She changed alot got lip pierced and started being "emo" when she was really "preppy/pink" type. Kinda a big turn off for me, but w/e. She had broken up with her last boyfriend "for me" but then they got back together a week later. All in what i figured would happen.

i am praying that the day where i find someone 10x better and new will come, and all the pain will be in the past forever!

MissingHim2Much

Hi Chery,

geeez he does sound like an a-hole. I almost wish sometimes mine had been, it would be easier I think. He was really good to me so that makes me miss him all that much more. I guess what he's done since the breakup could be considered an a-hole thing to do but all I can remember is how good he treated me and how much fun we had together, even after all those years together. I think the thing that probably breaks my heart the most is thinking that he has forgotten all we shared and all we meant to each other for so long. We accumulated alot of stuff in 7 yrs and he left it all. Stereos, Video games, furniture, camping gear, fishing gear and he left it all.

A friend of mine works at McDonalds and he said he saw my ex and his new ready made family there. His gf and her 4 children under the ages of 7. She only has custody of 2 so she must of had the other 2 for Halloween. And of course she's pregnant with twins, ( may or may not be his ) so they are going to have 6 kids here soon. Lots of his friends and some of my family think he's going to try and take these twins if they turn out to be his and bring them back for me to raise. He better hope thats not what he's planning. He'd have to be f'd up to think i'm gonna raise this crazy ho's babies.

Anyway Chery thanks for the words of encouragment. I need every bit of positive support I can get. And please take care of yourself and don't let that fool upstairs get you down.

SAB123

It's been about 9 months since my ex fiance broke up with me again.Although I stll think of her sometimes. I am so much better now then 3 months ago. Time does heal the pain of a break up.

madaman

I have been seeing this one girl on and off for almost the last month, and its made me realize that I truly am not over my ex. It sucks alot right now, but I actually want to be alone for a while it looks like.

And for no apparent reason the dreams about the ex have returned this last week, which REALLY sucks. Sleep is supposed to be the one part of the day where my brain doesnt think about her!

rol

Mine was a year ago, now i feel totally healed and have began to date again. Ive met a very nice guy and we are taking things slow.

it takes time , but allow yourself to feel through all the emotions.

Time really helps..

everything happens for a reason.

Kia

i guess i am still in my healing processs like most of everyone else here. I am a little upset at myself for still thinking about him so much. I even have thoughts of how he had sex w/me and what he may be doing with someone else, and it can get pretty torturous.

I have to admit, and I may sound biased by this, but I am kind of fighting the feeling of hating men sometimes. I love them, but I hate them at the same time. It happens when I recall or experience situations where I'm approached by someone I know isnt interested in me seroiusly, and their trying to slick talk, or invite me to come over and drink with them, or something along those lines. I mean its nice to be invited in a way, but I know their intentions and it starts to piss me off in my head.
I guess I think about my ex, and how I was vulnerable and got tricked by his repeated requests for my company, like he cared about me to some degree, when he just wanted to "get some" and have company for a little while. Men know how women are, and I think its very mean and deceptive to pursue and continue sleeping with a woman when you know that you have no good intentions for her.

Anyway, thats just a little of what I'm battling at the moment; part of my healing I guess....

Diamondstar03

Hey Kia, I know how you feel. I also think about how she had sex with me and how she can be doing whatever she is doing now. It drives me up the wall!!!! I feel like such a doormat. However I dont agree with your putting all men into that boat. We are all not like that, I do know that most guys are, but not all of us. I could say that about women as well, she pulled a big fast one on me and it broke my heart. Seems both male and female's are equal able to be hated. I am doing my best to not think of it anymore, but yes it still hurts. I just wish I had not fallen so hard for her. I feel like such a sap now since I am the one still in love with her and she dropped me like I was nothing. Just hurts, I hope you are able to feel better, as I hope we all are.