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Home > Family & People > Relationships   »   when is too many partners too many?

 
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Old Jun 11, 2008, 02:35 AM
miriwonders
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when is too many partners too many?

I have really bad memory and the other night I was super bored and feeling a bit down on myself, so I started making a list of all the guys I had been with since I became sexually active and I started to wonder, if the number of partners a year was actually the norm or was I over board.
Altho I wount say how many so far I have to say I was totally honest in the list and counted even that one night stand I wished it never happen counted the ones with and without condoms. And I've noticed the more years that have gone by the more number of partners I have been with. So when it comes to SEX and just sex, whats the avarage or how many do u guys think a gurl should have a year? Of course keep in mind, I happen to be a very sexual person who is single and comfortable with her self and most men find me attractive, but I don't wanna become a slut. So how many is a healthy number? And don't say one cause of couse that would be the ideal but unfortionally that's not what I'm askin. Thanks!

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Old Jun 11, 2008, 06:06 AM   #11  
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miriwonders,

You'll know when the number is just to much...
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Old Jun 11, 2008, 06:27 AM   #12  
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Exactly, even as a guy, if I get off 2 hands I, myself, will feel dirty. I mean to each his own, but to treat women like a piece of meat is kidna disturbing.

With that being said, I don't mean being in your 50's and being off 2 hands is dirty, I mean at my age, being off two hands is slightly out of control.
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Old Jun 11, 2008, 06:36 AM   #13  
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I still think even in a person's 50's if they've slept with 50 people that's a lot!
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Old Jun 11, 2008, 06:36 AM   #14  
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I wonder, Romefalls, if you have the same issue with women your age that have children? That you won't even consider dating them because of the OBVIOUS evidence that there's been someone there before you.

I placed my child for adoption at 17, and had guys that wouldn't even consider dating me, even years later, because they felt I was "slutty" because I'd been pregnant.

Seriously--attitudes like some of the ones I've seen, both in this question and in similar questions, is why I tell people that they don't have to tell ANYONE that number. No matter WHAT your number is, SOMEONE is going to judge you for it. And really, all it takes is ONE bad partner to change your life--one person with an STD, regardless how many people you've slept with. Ever see the film "Kids"? She ends up having sex with ONE GUY at 15, and finds out she's HIV-positive. ONE person is all it takes--so who is anyone to judge whether a person has had 15 or 5 or 1 or 50 partners? All it takes is bad judgement ONCE--and a virgin can make that bad judgement as easily (or possibly MORE easily, since they don't have the experience) than a person with more partners.

My husband has no idea how many past partners I have. Actually, I don't know if anyone but me knows that number. And I plan on keeping it that way.

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mimi03 agrees: Agree 100%: Your previous partners are your past and personal to you no one else should feel obligated to know that number. They should care to know if you are STD/STI-free but the # doesnt reveal that.
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Old Jun 11, 2008, 06:42 AM   #15  
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I don't believe Romefalls is putting it that way. Actually I know he's not.

It's the fact that some people do sleep with that many that is disturbing.
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Old Jun 11, 2008, 06:55 AM   #16  
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And I'm just pointing out that ...so what? So what if they do? If they enjoy the sex, and don't want to be tied down to one person because of their education or their career or whatever---who cares?

So...if 50 is too many, regardless your age--how many is still okay? 10 at 21 years old? or 3 or 13 or what? What about at 50? is 10 okay at 50? or is 20 okay?

Honestly, I'm seeing this as another form of close-mindedness about the bedroom. As long as a person is safe and willing, what difference does it make?

I guess what my question then is, following in this, is that if a person absolutely refused to give you the number of people they've slept with, but could show you a clean bill of health--would you still be with them?
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Old Jun 11, 2008, 07:07 AM   #17  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Synnen
I wonder, Romefalls, if you have the same issue with women your age that have children? That you won't even consider dating them because of the OBVIOUS evidence that there's been someone there before you.

I placed my child for adoption at 17, and had guys that wouldn't even consider dating me, even years later, because they felt I was "slutty" because I'd been pregnant.

Seriously--attitudes like some of the ones I've seen, both in this question and in similar questions, is why I tell people that they don't have to tell ANYONE that number. No matter WHAT your number is, SOMEONE is going to judge you for it. And really, all it takes is ONE bad partner to change your life--one person with an STD, regardless how many people you've slept with. Ever see the film "Kids"? She ends up having sex with ONE GUY at 15, and finds out she's HIV-positive. ONE person is all it takes--so who is anyone to judge whether a person has had 15 or 5 or 1 or 50 partners? All it takes is bad judgement ONCE--and a virgin can make that bad judgement as easily (or possibly MORE easily, since they don't have the experience) than a person with more partners.

My husband has no idea how many past partners I have. Actually, I don't know if anyone but me knows that number. And I plan on keeping it that way.


Actually, funny you should bring that up. I am currently dating a women with not one, but two kids. So now, someone being there before me is not an issue. I just don't feel comfortable dating someone who has been with many men. I don't ask girls how many guys they have been with, sometimes they are up front about it.

I see your point of view, but it's my preference to not want to be with someone who has been with a high amount of guys, it's just like I wouldn't want to be with someone who has no intelligence. Personal preference some would call it. I NEVER once said anything about bad judgements, but eventually you get to the point where constant bad judgements are being made. I wouldn't want to date someone who has been doing drugs for the past 15 years either, does that make me a bad guy too?
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Old Jun 11, 2008, 07:13 AM   #18  
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I'm lookin at this from a moralistic side.

If a person refused to give me numbers, then I would assume that it's up there. Even if they gave me a clean bill I wouldn't be with them for emotional reasons. That's just how I am.
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Old Jun 11, 2008, 07:21 AM   #19  
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Hello:

In my view, there are more disturbing things going on in the world than how many people somebody has slept with.

If it disturbs YOU, then don't do it. But, what other people do in the privacy of their bedrooms or with whom, isn't any body's business. Making judgments about their behavior is actually more disturbing to me than the behavior.

excon
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Old Jun 11, 2008, 07:31 AM   #20  
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I don't do it

I'm sure that if you had slept with a woman and she told you that you were #100, you'd be deeply effected.

Yes, STD's being spread around the world is disturbing.
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