Hi
I had a long term relationship (3 years) which finished more than 2 months ago. And during this time I have been in No Contact at all.
But still I'm hurt. Her memory hurts me again. I am trying to enjoy life but still I feel hurt.every day seems so difficult. My healing process is progressing very slowly.

Anyone here from his experience: How much longer is it going to take? When will her memory not hurt me anymore?
I know nobody can't give me a precise answer to this question but say something based on your experience.
I would appreciate your answers.

6 months to a year, depending on how busy you are about rebuilding your own life. It could take longer as it will take, whatever time it takes.

There is no script written. It takes as long as it will take. With a little patience... YA... YA (shameless plug of a GNR song)...

Keep up the NC, and everything else will fall in place. One question though, what are some things YOU have done to improve upon YOUR life, and make YOURSELF happy? Are you proactive enough..?

It does take time and if you have been with them for 3 years, it's going to take longer than 3 months. Keep busy, try new activities, make new friends and you'll get there.

I'm going out with 2 friends I have made. Trying to do different activities to loose my mind. I'm not enjoying so much but what can I do.maybe the fact that I don't have a job yet is affecting my situation. Maybe even the fact that I'm having a completely new life in a new country is affecting too.also I'm starting to hate school.I m missing so much classes and ill probably fail if I go on like this.
I'm still in that stage that I find my ex the most beautiful girl in the world, even if I compare her with Angeline Jolie. I'm kind of obsessed. Can't imagine how she found it so easy to break up and move on.I think the problem is in me and the way I concept "Love".it was not like it seemed to be.she didn't seem to concept it the same way as me.during my relationship I have never thought of "definitive break up",even though she had a lot of things that really disturbed me(like her good sense of arguing every time for every little problem). A LOT OF but I accepted her the way she was.
The next thing hurting me is her dishonesty that she showed.she acted like a coward.I was there with her and she never said anything to me. As soon as I left my country she broke up. I miss an eye to eye conversation with her. This is the best way to end a long term relationship in a mature way.
I have always been the kind of guy that would try everything in order to achieve best results.it seemed to me that I was a tough guy and nothing would hurt me in this world.but I found out my weak side. Now I'm not really recognizing myself. It seems like another life, like a bad nightmare.
I'm neglecting important things that will bring me a better future.im thinking too much how to move on with my life but I'm doing nothing.

Hey someone it takes a long time. I can only comment based on what I went through.

It has been 6 months since the breakup of 9 years and so how do I feel?

Sad and angry with the cheating- but the positive thing about this - is I see clearly who he has become and I have accepted there is no going back and now I am okay with it- I would say that took 4 months, and only now I am becoming more comfortable with that thought.

Still hurting v much- but now it comes and goes. I am learning and trying to deal with all the pain in a better way now.

I have been proactive in many ways and not so in other ways- I guess I am still finding my feet and so I can one day start having that normal day- I can say I get half normal days now and the evenings are much better as I go to th gym as often I am able to.

The biggest hurdle for me was when I started to look at the relationship for what it had become, rather than what it was- that has helped me heal a bit more.

NC is now easy- haha I never thought such a day would come- occasionally I get the sad feeling and want to hear his voice- but it is getting less and less... whatever I feel is based on the memories of him when things were good.

My biggest hurdle now is how to move on- and how to rebuild my life as I felt I just wiped out 9 years= a third of my life- that's a huge chunk... and it scares me very much...

Hi Hun
I was with my ex for ten years he was the only man iI'd been with as I was still at school when I met him when we split up I was so lost I didn't know anything but him how to do things on my own and I was hurting more than words can say its took me about 18 months but still every now and then I still think of him and all I do is remember all the bad things more than the good we both new it was coming all we did was row and I got through it by like I said I just think of all the times he had hurt me, made me cry and that helped more for me than anything else take care, Hun xx

I'm taking your experience to heart more so then others because my ex of 9 years left me. Four months it took for you to be OK with the thought of it being really over. It's amazing how long it takes for you to heal from someone leaving you.

My days come and go with depression. The nights are horrible so far, I have to keep the TV on so I can semi-drain the relationship noise from my head, when I go to sleep. So far, the 'each day will get easier' point has not come for me yet.

Dear Kay 84 and ajGambino,

Many thanks for your comments and sharing how you are feeling- it takes a long, long time indeed and what I will say is that it is sheer hard work to get back on your feet again- its like a second job sometimes!

I think the initial stages for me was sheer shock and grieve- really was v hard to digest anything--and I was like a bloody ZOMBIE for months on end-- I thought my life ended-- well actually I really believed my life ended--then in time I saw what I did for me and the ex and how the ex shat and disrespected everything and I realised who I am and what I am and how dare the ex treat me this way!. w t.. f?? To the point when I realised that the only person that can help me is ME and slowly, slowly I started to MOVE... how I don't know actually- but it is not easy at all- I had to really push myself a lot and I am still pushing.

I am much better now- but I still am hurting. I have days that I cry myself to pieces like last week (such an idiot I know) and I have days that are okay-- and for these moments I am able to forget the pain for a while which is really nice. The only way I can move forward is to think where I want to be in a few years and then make plans and targets and get going. Maybe it is the fear of being stuck in this pain that has made me move- whatever it is I can feel myself moving now more better than last month and I know somehow I am going to get through this- how I don't know!

The ex can go and kiss my a s s and drop himself in hell now.

The nights and mornings are hard- I listen to music a lot these days ( loud house music!) - helps drown things-when I walk about- I find going to the gym and doing HOT yoga v helpful- I basically drown my pain on the strider and the bike and bend myself stupid in yoga to the point that I am too tired to think what my name is :-)... and I have developed a healthy addiction to perfumes, shoes, travelling, photography and more recently salsa dancing = all helps! Now I am much busier and this weekend I was so busy I had to think where is my time dissappearing to?- I thought being single and dumped = lots of time on my hands- it is so not looking this way now!!

Keep going- I am sure you will all pull thru- you just need to work a few things out for you and start doing those things. I now tell myself - I am single- so use this as an opportunity to do things for when one is single- cos one day you will meet a nice guy and you may not get this chance. For now I am on NC with all males!- not that I have anything against them- but more that I can give me sometime to me- I deserve this for me. The guys can wait a bit- it is not like they are going to get wiped out from this planet or get mutated into a "thing"- and so that's how it is right now and hopefully one day I will meet that special one who will become my best friend and soulmate. Funny thing is when you are on NC with all males- there are everywhere and you suddenly find yourself in v high demand! Lol!! Never quite get all this?

Everyone else already said it but there is no magic time frame, it sucks but it's the truth. You have to go at it until it doesn't hurt anymore, it could be 2 months it could be as long as a year.

Oh please God no.