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Ok, so I've decided to get this little thread going here. I'm sick and tired of feeling like I have no game when it comes to the ladies. I need to get this woman business handled so that I can find the right girl for me! And I'm sure there are several guys out there that feel this way, so I figured I would pose this question to all you ladies out there. Don't be afraid to answer honestly!
What are the top traits and characteristics are women looking for in men?
Now I know for every woman there are going to be variations. Some might like tall guys, some might like short guys, some might like blond guys, some might like guys with a dark complexion. But I'm not really looking for physical qualities here. There have got to be some overarching qualities, some deep rooted, fundamental qualities aside from physical characteristics that women are looking for in men. I'm really curious to know what these are, as are many other guys out there, because I have a feeling that being an attractive man has little to do with looks, and more to do with personality. But what aspects of an attractive man's personality turn on women?
Ladies, it's ok to be perfectly honest here. No one knows who is who on this site, so please don't hesitate to give real answers! By being honest and up front about this, you can spread some useful knowledge to some guys who just don't have a clue. Maybe, after several responses, we might see a pattern emerging and can maybe draw some solid conclusions!
It would probably be helpful to order your responses meaningfully. You know, start with the least important trait and work your way to the most important!
Wow...what personality characteristics makes a man attractive to me?! When I think of the perfect man, he is first and foremost easy to talk to. I feel comfortable being myself with him and him with me. I love a guy who has a great sense of humor but he HAS to know when to be serious. I want a guy to be sincere and honest no matter how he feels I will take the truth. Sometimes the truth hurts, but no more than lie after lie to cover it up. I want a guy who is somewhat sensitive, but I don't want a guy who is going to cry in every chic flic. Find a happy medium. And please DON"T use pick up lines. There is nothing more refreshing than having a guy come up to you at a bar and just introduce himself (you know, without saying..."All those curves and me with no breaks" lol). I hope I could be of atleast a little help.
Honesty. Eyes. Spontaneity. Humor. Patience. Being comfortable in himself. Independence.
Yes, you are very correct. Being an "attractive man" is not all about looks. It goes MUCH deeper than that.
The whole "eyes" thing is one of the biggest things for me. How can I explain that.... eyes. I guess, for me, when a guy looks at my Lara Croft figure more than he does at ME, I'm really turned off. Yes, I'm a Shakespearean dreamer, but when a man talks to me I want him to be really interested in what I'm saying and not just what I look like when I'm saying it. (Don't get me wrong, I appreciate being appreciated, I just want a guy to appreciate my brain as well as my Barbie-ness.)
Spontaneity... the ability to be unpredictable. I'm very random - ask anyone who has had conversations with me - and don't always like the same old same old. Granted, I'm couch potato girl, but I adore randomness and spontaneous "lets go watch the stars" type of stuff.
You said not to mention looks, so I won't. But really, depth of individuality and uniqueness. That's important to me.
A man that respects me enough as a human to realize that I have a mind and can use it. Whether in politics, culture, entertainment, or just plain 'pillow talk' and sensitivity (being able to just hug and not expect more sometimes).
A man who does not fear whether I have a 'better education' than he does and gives us a chance to find out if we have other things in common that bond, such as taste in food, humor, lifestyle, etc. And one who does not clam up when the air is a little thick. Communication is a large part of a relationship and should be honest and not compromising just to get what you want in the bedroom and show no other interests elsewhere in the house.
Also he should not get all huffy when I'm of another opinion either in life, art, or anything else in the world. As long as most of the time we have a chance to have fun just being together, be able to build each other up when feeling down, learn what is important and support each other in no matter what goals or ideas each individual has.
He should also never give her the feeling that he is superior either financially or idealistically, no matter what country they are from. I could go on and on but this is at least a glimps of what I would appreciate. We all need the feeling of being needed and wanted for who we are - and not what we can be molded into eventually.
Hope this helped a little.
P.S. I'm quite sure that this is pretty much of what a man would like in a woman too.
Basics
Humour, Intellgence, Confidence (not arrogance), kindness, a little bit of chivalry, hardworking, fun, generous and thoughtful.
More specific for me (I think)
Likes animals, a bit random, good cook, has own friends (ie other people think he's nice too), interested in same things as me (gigs, music, art, comedy).
I agree with what has been posted. Honesty is really important to me. If a guy has something on his mind he should definetly let his girl know. If a guy truly loves a girl and wants whats best for her, he shouldnt dance around problems or tell her lies just to make her happy. She might feel happy when she first initially hears it, but once she finds out it's not true...she'll feel 10 times worse. Trust me.
Communication is key. I like a guy who has some of the same interests as me, but could also teach me new things that I didn't know much about before. I think there should be balance in a relationship. If sacrifices need to be made, it should be equal on both sides. I'd like someone who is adventurous and isn't afraid to take risks b/c i really respect those qualities, but they also have to be responsible and have real motivation for things they want to accomplish.
As long as most of the time we have a chance to have fun just being together, be able to build each other up when feeling down, learn what is important and support each other in no matter what goals or ideas each individual has.
Basics
Humour, Intellgence, Confidence (not arrogance), kindness, a little bit of chivalry, hardworking, fun, generous and thoughtful.
More specific for me (I think)
Likes animals, a bit random, good cook, has own friends (ie other people think he's nice too), interested in same things as me (gigs, music, art, comedy).
Got to go hope this helps!
I think this is a very interesting post templeane! You list humour first and Confidence a bit further down. As a guy, I figured that confidence would be number one with most women...
Let's examine "confidence" further. What kind of qualities make up a confident man? Is it always being in charge of the situation while with a woman? Is it specific, such as picking the time and place for a date, or more of a general quality, like being sure of himself and actions, despite what others think (including the woman he may be dating or in a relationship with)?
Is confidence tied to being a man who is a challenge? As I understand, women also like men who are a challenge and live by their own rules. How does a man who challenges a woman behave exactly?
But really, depth of individuality and uniqueness. That's important to me.
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