After being in a relationship with a married man for 2 1/2 years, he now decides to do the right thing which is "let him do wat he's gotta do" in other words finish one before he starts another.
For the past 6 months i started to get fed up and had fights with him everyday because i see nothing is happening as he promised and things were really bad between us but we still tried to hang in there because either one of us wanted to be away from each other and refuse to give up and he said he was afraid to lose me.

When i first met i didnt know he was married for 6 months, i had my suspicions something wasent right and i confronted him numerous times and he denied it until he finally admitted it, then i told him i cant be with him, which i had already fell in love with him and he cried and said he's in love with me and he will get a divorce just be patient and understanding and have FAITH in him that if i really love him i wouldnt give up on him.
He told me he wasent happy but he's got alot to give up and it dosent happen overnite, then i month after i found out he has his first kid on the way which he denied at first when i had my suspicions again, i realized now staying in it was not the right thing to do, but i folllowed my heart and put my trust in him, when i had my doubts he swore on his kid's life that he will end it and he wants to be with me.

At this point he met my family and all my friends, i met a few member of his family and his friends became my friends, but my family never knew he is married, this and among every other thing eats me up every day as much as im happy when im with him im miserable when im not.
He always made me feel like i was a priority never made me feel like i come 2nd, until his wife found out from a message i left him then everything was hell he said he will leave but then he couldnt do it this now that she knows about me that its gonna be a ugly and nasty divorce to wait until things calm down and to convince her he's over with me he convinced me to answer her calls when she kept calling and i denied our relationship i said we just met each other and just talked, he had also changed his fone # and tell her he's not talkn to me but he gave me the new #.
Now that was not the end, he said wat i did by denying it was for the sake of me and him so we dont have to deal with the headaches when we are finally 2gethet.

After all that it contined for another 4 months and then she found out again from a txt mess. 3 weeks ago and ever since he still convinced me how much he loves me and its a different kinda love from wat he had for his wife and he cant be without me and to give him a few weeks to figure out his life and clear his head and if and when he leaves it will just be me and will do whatever it takes to make it up to me and he hopes in the meantime he dosent lose me!!!
Supposedly he's giving it one last try for the sake of his kid.
He still left me hoping which honestly i dont think he's ever coming back but also i dont know how that marriage is going to work out after all that because now she knows everything, i think im in shock and in denial because for the most part i tried several times breaking up with him and he put the guilt on me and i gave in because he made me feel like wat we had and shared dosent come everyday and its hard to find, so i stayed until this now!!!! IT IS A FEELING I DONT EVER WANT TO FEEL AGAIN. I wonder did he meant it when he said he LOVE and IN LOVE with me, i just have so many questions as to wat went wrong.

cerisa

What a loser this guy is. Why would you (or any woman) want to be with someone who uses the women in his life the way this man does. Even if he divorced, He is not worth it. He cannot be trusted.
I feel for his wife. She has been betrayed very badly.
And you, why stoop so low? Are you worth nothing?
Both of you women should confront him and both leave him flat. That is what in reality he deserves.

JBeaucaire

Look in the mirror and make sure that's the person you dreamed about being when you were young. If not, YOU fix it.

I'm amazed at the amount of abuse (that's what your relationship amounts to) a woman will take with a guy who has shown deep interest, even after you find out the interest he's showing is completely inappropriate.

Think of it this way - when dating YOU are the prize. You are the thing to be earned and won, not the other way around. This guy has you working overtime to forgive HIM so that he'll be able to stay with you.

That's nuts. Not only should you wish him well and move on immediately, keep in mind from now on that you are the CATCH, not the CATCHER.

Look in the mirror, find your treasure, the good that is you and honor it. Do not let it go, and do not give an inch to inappropriateness from the men who seek your affections. When it occurs, give him a hug, wish him well, and move on.

Starting tomorrow, go back to being awesome, the girl you dreamed of being when you were 16. She's worth the effort.

talaniman

Enough, time to get off the pity pot and do something to protect yourself from his lies, like stop the contact asap, and get your life back to being healthy. NO BUT'S.

Allheart

Hi again Ram,

If only you could realize how much this guy has beaten you down. You said you fell in love with him and it was too late to walk away after you found out he was married, Ram, now it's time you fell in love with yourself. Love yourself enough to want more. Enough allowing him to do these things to you and his wife.

I am not saying that he has some sort of emotions for you but all it equates to in the end is unhealthyness for you, so what does it actually matter how he feels.

You have some incredible advice from the others here and I could not agree more with them.

Ram, it's time to take a stand for yourself and demand of yourself NO MORE. I know it's easy for me to say as I could give 2 hoots about this person disquising himself as a man and husband, but that's why it is easier for me to see and everyone else here the amount of pain he is inflicting on you.

Ram....NO MORE. Get a little journal out and each day write down how you are feeling. When you want to contact him, pull out that journal and start writing.

Start today to work on you. Start building yourself up again. What is one thing that you like to do? Read? Shop? Are you artistic. Pick one thing that you really like to do (outside of him) and do him. Find ways to do other things that have nothing to do with him.

I feel for you Ram, I really do. Ram, some problems in life, we really have no control over. This one you actually do. That makes you very fortunate so don't let it control you!!!

Wishing you the best Ram - Now get moving on working on you and please want better for yourself.

Ram, one more thing, there is something to learn in all the things we face in life both good and bad, so take this whole situation as a life learning experience. The trick is to actually learn from the things that happen and correct those things that need correcting and enhance those things that produced postive results.

I'm rooting for you Ram - We all are!