What should be my next move?
Hey all!
This is my first post and I just want to say that this seems to be a great forum!
Anyway here is my problem.
This is going to be a looooong post so if you want a shorter version, please tell me. Even though I think its best if you know the background info.
It all started when I was at a basketball game in my home town. It was winter and I was there with my buddies watching the women’s team play. And there she was…. The most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I really couldn’t take my eyes off her the entire game. So then I started going to ALL the basketball games. And I finally got her msn and started talking to her. We hade a great time talking to each other and when I approached her at a basketball game later on we felt so mush for each other, neither one of us could get a word out.
When we met she was in high-school and I had just finished it and took two years working and reading some courses at a college nearby. So we are three years apart witch we both thought was a bit much in the beginning but later on didn’t think of it at all.
Later on we got together and we had such a good time together. A year past and she was (is) the best thing that had happened to me in my entire life. But at this time things started to get worse. We had gotten to know each other better (for me this was just for the better) but it seemed she was not as happy. I thought it was because the relationship hade gotten more serious and not as exiting (you know all relationships are so great in the beginning when everything is new). So I asked her. And she told me it was because I had recently told her that I probably was going to move in about half a year. And that she was scared of it.
She started.....not avoiding me but she dint talk as much as she used to. She was ALWAYS tired. She was tired in bed, tired when I wanted to do somethign fun. Tired tired tired. I kept asking her what the problem was and told her that she was tired very offen and asked if there was anything wrong. And everytime she got anoyed and said nothign was wrong. Actualy I felt like she was annoyed very offen when I was around.
Later on she told me that she wanted to make the best of our time and not think of the fact that I was going to move. Just take it as it comes. Thing was that it didn’t get any better. She was not as loving and caring any more. So again I thought that every relationship has its ups and downs and I didn’t want o bother here with always asking her what was wrong and how she felt. I wanted her to figure out the problem (if there was one). So thing went on and it started to get close to summer vacations and we were going to Spain with her family. I was really exited about it and thought that now we were going to get to start over and have a great time.
We were in Spain for a whole week and not once did she tell me she loved me. Well that’s not true I finally told her I loved her and she of course said it back to me but she never told me her self. We did spend a lot of time with her family and some other family’s that we went there with and there fore it didn’t get to romantic but still It didn’t feel to good in my heart.
So I told her this when we came home and she was so sorry. She got said and didn’t know what to say. So again she said she was scared for the fall when I was going to move and that it probably wouldn’t work out. I got a bit angry (hurten as I was) and told her if she was so sure about it not working out the maybe she didn’t want to keep on going for the rest of the summer since there wasn’t any meaning with it. She said yes yes yes I do. I love you, of course I want to be with you. So I said the why don’t you show that? I mean you were the one who said that we should make the best of the time we had together and have a great summer. So she said that she didn’t know what was wrong and she was so sorry but she didn’t know what to say.
The summer passed and things were the same. I wanted to see here but she mostly wanted to spend time with her friends and family. We had sex about once a month. By then I just thought that she spent so much time with here friends because she didn’t want to loose them for the time that I was going to move.
So on the exact day of our 1,5 year anniversary, I moved. It was a really sad day for the both of us and we cried the night before. I was in my new town for about one and a half weeks and then went home again to get some stuff and se my sister. Of course I spent time with my girlfriend and it was even sadder this time. We layed for a looong time in my bed just hugging each other and crying.
The night that I came to my new home. She broke up with me. Well we talked and we both said we loved each other and she told me that she couldn’t take the fact not being able to see me everyday or when she wanted to. (I thought that was a little weird since we she was the one who didn’t want to see me to often during the summer.) So I asked if it was over and she said that she didn’t want to say those words because she still loved me. So I said well I can’t live with the fact that you are hurt because I left. But I still want to keep trying. And then we broke up.
Now its been abut two weeks and I am still sad and I can’t believe that it is over. I want her back! I love her so much! How could it be the distance when it only had been a little over one week? Did she break up because she didn’t want it to get worse and worse as the time passed?
All I know is that. I want her back! If it is now or in five years I don’t care. I want to know that we still have a shoot. So what should my next move be?
Should I be strong and move on? Because I have been showing a rather week side now witch I know is very unattractive to women. So should I move on and show here that I am strong?
Should I aim for a future relationship or try to get together now even though we live so far away from each other?
She did tell me on the phone that it wasnt impossible that we would hoch up aleter on.... but maybe that was just to cheer me up......
What should I do?
Thank you so much if you took your time to read this!
I really need your help!
Wonder
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