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what should i do ?...stand tall or let this relationship fall?
Me and my boyfriend just broke up again for the 3rd time…we have been really close for 7 months… every time we broke up he broke up w/me….. he’s 15 and I am16 he used to date my best friend wand I didn’t ever talk to him so I didn’t really know him… well they broke up and then he had study hall with us… and I noticed him and my friend were getting kinda close again… I didn’t think anything of it… then he wanted to talk to me more and stuff so we ended up talking on the phone… he would call me almost everyday and talk to me and just try t o get to know me… I was a ***** to him and sometimes I wouldn’t answer the phone… I’d ignore him….he asked me out several times I told him no over and over again….my reasons were that my best friend still liked him….that he was 2 grades lower than me……. I just didn’t feel for him….and I thought he was to immature…..well he didn’t give up he asked again…so I did an awful thing and said yes to him because I thought if I did go out with him and just ignored him that he would get over me and break up with me and that I could just walk away and not think anything of it…..we dated for about 2 weeks…. I would hardly talk to him…. And I wouldn’t even give him a hug…I was being a real big *****…. Then one day I just started to think bout it and realize that…. I had actually started to like him….. and want a relationship with him…. Cuz all this time he spent on getting me to go out with him…. He never gave up which made me think hey this guy he really does like me…..but I knew that if I didn’t change and start showing him some attention and that I really liked him he was gonna break up with me….so I decided in my mind… it was gonna change but it was too late the next day I got a text from him and it said I think we should just be friends… I was like what why?!?... he just said cuz u don’t even act like u like me……. It was so bad…. I cried… and asked for a second chance… he said maybe he would give me a second chance if I showed him I liked him just by trying to talk to him and stuff….. so I did I tried to show him I really did like him…. Then we became good friends and I begged for a second chance and he finally asked me out again…. Of course I said yes DUH!!!! anyway… the next day he was at church I text him I don’t remember for sure I think I said hey what u doin and he said something I don’t remember what and I thought something was up with him so asked him I said what r u ready to break up again already r something he’s like no….. it wasn’t 30 min later I got a text from him that said he wanted to be single…. Well this time I was sad but more pissed off… I tired talking to him bout it in a text one night and then he told me im talking to my girlfriend bye… he had started dating this other chick in his grade…. For some reason that made me able to get over it a lil bit and I was starting to realize it happened for a reason…and I was doing good with the fact he was with her… untill she broke up with him…. And I didn’t know and I text him cuz we hadn’t talked in a week ever since he had started to date her.. and I was like I miss you and then he told me he missed me 2 and that she broke up with him… I was like o im sry… and we started talking and became good friends again…. More like friends with benefits cuz I don’t ink he wanted to be with me again just yet… but I loved him…. And being his friend w/benefits was better than not being with him at all… so I gave my first blow job to him… and then I had to leave for the summer to go to reno Nevada to see my mom I was gonna be gone for like 3 months and I wouldn’t see him which is another reason why we weren’t together cuz theres no way a relationship could go on that way being separated for 3 months……When I went out there for the summer it was miserable all I could think about was how I loved him and wanted to be with him….and that I hoped he wouldn’t forget me and find someone else…. I wouldn’t go anywhere r. anything all summer all I wanted to do was to talk to him…. And sit around and count the days till I got to go home and perhaps try to be with him again…it was killing me we talked almost every night on the phone the whole 2 and a half months I was there…. If he didn’t call I would get so sad and even cry bout it and we weren’t even dating… you see I loved him… we told each other on the phone every night that we loved them….and a couple days before I came back to Arkansas what I had feared all summer became reality he text me that he was dating his ex again… o man I had never felt so much hurt before r cried as many tears before as I did that whole night and the 2 days after that…. I cried... Cried… and cried… then he told me she broke up with him I like o well sry I don’t know what to tell you… then he told me he wanted me back… and I agreed to come see him when I got back to Arkansas… well when I got back we hung out a couple times… it was easy to see we both still liked each other.. then one day we went swimming then iwent over to his house wondering if we were ever gonna date again r not… we got close his step dad was at the house so we took his truck in the pasture…. And there we both had sex for the first time… I freaked out all I could think bout was well what if u have sex then he don’t ever ask you back out again… r ur only a junior in high school what if u get pregnant…. But I didn’t really care I loved him… I I just assumed we would be together for a long time… sooner or later… well later that night he still hadn’t asked me out so I was kinda worried bout that so we talked bout it and we ended up going out again starting that night… well I went to see him as much as I could… and thought things were going good… we almost had sex 2 other times but I just wanted to see him show me more love in the lil things like talking to me and just listening and wanting to talk…. Before I did that again….three week went bye and he had gone to his dads for da weekend and he didn’t call em one night so the next day when he got back home to his moms he called me and was acting weird I was kinda worried but didn’t think much of it the next day he called and broke up with me I cried so much worse than last time… every time we break up it gets harder and harder…. He said he needed some time to think which is what he said the last 2 times he broke up with me…. I had a sick feeling im my stomach every since then and I still do cuz we are still apart…. Like im going to pewk…. He tells me we will be together again soon that he just needs to think… I want to give him all the time he needs to think cuz I really love him..i do… I love him… but while he’s thinking im dying… it hurts either way its gonna hurt I love him so much iwanna give him time but then I think it would be better to let it go now cuz I mean he’s known me 7 months he keeps coming and going in this relationship and every time I see him walk away it hurts 100 times worse then the last time… .so the point is I love him so much the last thing I want to do is to let him go… but what if we get back 2 gether again and he leaves to think again?!! My heart cant handle that again… but it cant handle letting him go either expecially if theres even a lil chance we could be together again… but like I said its been 7 months… if he still needs to think if he loves me r not r wants to be with me then he’s prolly never gonna know….
Honestly I think he’s to afraid to get to close to me and actually show me how he really feels… what should I do?... I’ve never ever felt this way… in a way a blame myself for all this… what if I wouldn’t had been such a ***** In the beginning? … what if I woulda done something diff… but man I can sit here and play the what if game all night and it still wont get him to come back to me… if he chooses to stay gone I hurt… if he comes back and leaves again I hurt…. Seems like every way its gonna hurt…. Ppl might say this is a crazy girl obsessed with some dude… ur right I am obsessed… obsessed with loveing him… no matter what I do I cant forget bout him I don’t want to… I cant not try to make it work I cant not talk to him and I surley cant hate him.. I want him to know I love him for all he is and all he isn’t… so I need edvice should I try to build this relationship up r let it fall? If I try to build it up and I fail I have nothing at all … if I let it fall I have nothing a t all…idk what to do… don’t even know if begging him to come back is what I should do or leave it alone and let him do what he wants to… what should I do?...
Stand tall or let this relationship fall?..?
Let it fall no matter what you feel. This dude is playing you like a fiddle big time. He has no feelings for you except for SEX. He loves it when you beg. Break his control and move on and I really hope you learned a very big lesson.
im not trying to be mean but there is no way i can read that entire post.
paragraphs are very useful. if you want people here to read your stuff, you really need to condense things down and maybe hit the enter key now and then.
that said, theres too much drama from what little i could sift through.
if youve broken up that many times already, maybe youre just not working out? anyway, youre 15 and 16... keep things simple. why make relationships this complex at this young of an age???
if you cannot have fun, be nice, enjoy each other, and not go crazy... well get out!
obsessing over any guy is really not healthy. doing it at this young of an age is a big warning sign for the future. obsession = insecurity. i think it would be very good for you to date NOBODY for a while, while you ground yourself and figure out what is really important.
At your age, dating should be fun, (everything should be fun). If your not having fun, move on. You will have enough drama in your life as it gets more complicated, enjoy yourself. Also, you should NEVER sit around & wait for a guy to call. Go out, have fun. If your home when he calls, great! If not, oh well, he'll call back-if he dosen't, it's his loss!!!
Wow, quite the story...surprisngly typical though, so know that youre not the only one. You have probably realized that youre not going to hear what you want to hear, and this post wont be any different. You dont love him as much as you think you do, if at all. Love and emotional attachments are two very different things. You have obviously given waaaaay too much, in more ways than one. Your heart is way too precious to be throwing around like this. You are young and female, alot of girls at this age like to over-dramatize a relationship or make it into some kind of episode you'd see on the OC or Dawsons Creek. Im not saying you are, but you need to stop this for your own good, learn from this, he doesnt care about you. In no more than 3 years your mentality will change soooo much its rediculous, until then, stop dishing your heart out to guys, lay off the sex, its not going to do anything but hurt you. You will know when you've found the person you truly love and you wont have to ask any questions, let alone jump on message boards like these. I feel for you, honestly, ive made some mistakes that i regret, and trust me, if you can minimize them early DO IT. This relationship will be one of them.Take advantage of any early maturity and self-control and listen to consistant advice, even if its not what you want to hear. The people on these boards dont say these things just because your young , most of them understand your situation without fully reading it, and i mean UNDERSTAND. If you really care about you as a person and your future, take the advice, but if your looking for someone to make you feel better about wanting what you want or mistakes you reluctantly take ownership for, you're wasting your time.
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