I (Shirley ) wants to leave my husband because he's a cheap a-- and he's all about himself, and I'm starting to notice that more and more each day, yesterday was the last straw,we had words yesterday , don't consider it arguing just, getting things off our chest, ok, my husband says he's doing everything in the house all by himself, but actually he only pays the mortgage, and his bills, I pay all utilities, buy food, buy the personals for the house, giving him 500.00 every two weeks, he says it's for the mortgage, I also take care of thirteen yr. old pain in the a-- daughter, then I pay my car note, credit card bills, and yes I have to have money for gas and work, I sometimes if not all the time have nothing in my pocket left. now he moved his sorry a-- 19yr. old son in, he doesn't work, nor does he have license, his son is a free loader, It's not fair that my husband says he's doing everything by himself, I love my husband, but I'm not in love with him anymore, I just wanna leave and get on my own, I did stop giving him the 500 every two weeks and he's mad, so thats where the blow up came from yesterday, I can't afford to give him 500 every two weeks, it's killing me. should I stay or leave?

another thing buy me being part owner of the house, Can I put his son out, legally, and my husband can't do a Da-- thing about it, I'm his wife and thats my house too (right)

Geoffersonairplane

Fair point,

but this site is all about trying to help you and offer the best advice for you and your situation. If we sugar coat the truth, just because we worry about how you are going to take it, then you will make no progress and just be stuck in a vicious cycle.

Don't you agree?

chirleyrene

In A Way, I'm sorry, if I sounded Harsh, I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. (Frends?)

valinors_sorrow

How you managed to go from this:
to this in only two posts stupifies me...
However with that said, I am very glad you found your solution, sincerely. It stands to reason for me now how we couldn't have helped much when the problem wasn't discussed very plainly (I found it confusing like these two posts are) and appears to have been already solved (looks to the "What Should I Do? I'm Ready To Leave" headline on this thread). If you think any of the answers given here are inappropriate, you can complain with the Report Inappropriate Post link and if its against the rules, the post will be modified or removed. But I would suggest there is a difference between "negativity" and breaking the rules of the site. I don't know about you Chirl, but I learn from both kinds of responses-- I think most people do. No one here meant to hurt you, certainly not me, and I wish you well in your new life.

Geoffersonairplane

No, that's o.k. you're fine..

I second what Val has said, nobody on here I would hope would want to hurt your feelings in what they say to you.

Perhaps, in a way you are right, we all need to choose carefully the words we use to get the advice across so that the person receiving it can use it in a positive way instead of seeing the negativity..

talaniman

I would rather hurt your feelings than have you think I condone something I know is wrong. My goal is to make you think and I don't care about your feelings if I am trying to help. Your entire thread was 7 pages of advice that you seemed to me would not grasp or acknowledge in my opinion so a kick in the butt to jump start the brain was in my opinion NEEDED. I didn't act out of temper or malice nor did anyone else here, and try to keep my tone reasonable according to who I am writing to. For that NO APOLOGIES for hurt feelings. Sorry if you think some of us are negative and all due respect.........that's your problem how you take it. I am glad you have at least made a decision and I sincerely hope it works for you. My daddy use to tell me " If you don't want to hear the answer, You shouldn't ask the question"

LUNAGODDESS

Big laugh... you have a choice... stay and be unappreciated...or do the happy dance out the door....make the parting words....loud... never ask for escrow in the long run you will lose...get the value/appraisal of the houses...demand your half...find another home that has no remainder of him or his horde...make the move out of your misery true sharp and complete...no matter what you say he will feel the pain...but yet his horde will feel it later...yeah revenge is sweet...only if you are successful...never say never...some other guy without drama may come along and sweep you off your feet....yeah...no more drama...signing out....

Skell

Here here Tal!!

Geoffersonairplane

I would have said this, but I was scared of hurting anyones feelings.

valinors_sorrow

Sometimes, Geoff, you only get to pick between these two: being nice or solving/identifying the problem. And if the person with the problem is asking for help.... how nice is it really to ignore the solution by watering it down to the point its ineffective with all that "nicey nice"? There is where the line is drawn between being nice and enabling someone. Enabling is so bad in some circumtances that it actually helps kill people. So are we then going to sit around at the wake, wring our hands about how tragic it was and talk about how nice we all were?

talaniman

Val has said it. I'm here to help (I sure ain' doing it for the money) the goal is to get people thru hard times. Some may need a shove, others need a boot. Sometimes they need a hug, or an encouraging word. You have to figure what they need to succeed and give it to them. I really do care, that's why I do IT. When I stop caring, I'm outta here.