This is the first time I have been on here but I am in need of some help with a friend of mine. I recently turned 21 and I have been friends with this girl for almost three years now, but not real close. We live in the same city but do more e-mailing and text than anything else. We don't really hangout as much as I would like to. After a couple years or so I realized that I really like her but she had a boyfriend. Of course I stayed friends with her but never told her how I felt. She is one year older than me. We seem to have a lot of the same interests and I have never met a girl like her before. I really do enjoy being around her. We were talking the other night and she said she is "not" with her boyfriend anymore. But they still seem to talk. She didn't get into the details and I didn't ask because I felt it wasn't any of my business. But I don't think they are 100% finished with eachother. I would tell her how I feel but I am afraid she will get upset and I will loose her friendship. What should I do?? I have never felt this way about a girl before. As mentioned above I have never known anyone like her, she is different than most girls but in a good way. She is the whole package. Funny, great personality, respectful, easy to talk to and goregous . She also has a lot of guy friends. So I don't know if I should make a move and ask her out on a date or not. This has been stressing me out. I would really like to be with her but at the same time don't want to loose her friendship. I am sure other people have been in this kind of bind before, but there has to be a solution.

Any sort of information is greatly appreciated. Thanks for your time.

Catsmine

What, you're gonna volunteer to be her rebound guy? I would take a different approach. Maintain your friendship, get even closer. When she figures out that you can be depended on after the rebound guy then admit to having romantic feelings for her.

carguy74

Do you think it would be a good idea to just see if she wants to have lunch sometime? Seems like one of us is always busy or have something planned when we try to hangout.

Here in town we have a local classic car cruise in every friday. We both have classic cars that we drive/restore. She told me last night to let her know if I was going. I texted her this evening to see if she was going. She replied saying she didn't have time to wash her truck becasue she thought it was too dirty to show. So instead of texting back I called her and offered to pick her up and we can go together. Then she said she had some errands to run and to pick up a gift for a birthday party this weekened. Now I feel like I'm a nag. All evening I was wishing I hadn't done that. Was that a bad move? I should have just let it go.

Thanks again.

Catsmine

No, that's "buddy" stuff. Even lunch can be "buddy" stuff, which is non-threatening. Don't do dinner. That's romantic. She needs time to get over the break-up. Provide a safe haven for that. Eventually safe havens can become homes.

talaniman

I hope you back off, and balance your life with other people, and activities, as I think you have to much emotional attachments, and some deep feelings for someone, who may not be feeling the same way.

I think your in friend zone any way, and will stay there, until she is done with the ex for sure, and that my friend, may take a lot of time.

Don't waste your time, by waiting for her to be ready for anything, but the friendship you now have. Whats your hurry???

Catsmine

I missed the "enjoy what friendship you have" angle. That's why you're the expert. Listen to the expert, Carguy.

carguy74

Thanks for everyones advice. You all make a great point. There is nothing wrong with being friends. I'll be sure to keep it that way.

Thanks again.