One year ago I became friends with a girl who is Muslim (not strict) of Albanian descent - I am Catholic (non practicing) and not of Albanian descent (we are both born Americans).

We became really good friends - laughed together - started to ride the train to and from work together. Went to lunch etc...We used to joke that it was too bad that her family would never accept a non-Albanian as a boyfriend.

Then one day at lunch 8 months ago, we looked into each others eyes and knew we were no longer just friends. We decided to try to make a relationship work, but we had to hide it from her family (unhealthy - I know). We came to love each other - were best friends. It wasn't perfect, we didn't have as much time together as we would have liked, but we made it work.

Then just two days ago I could sense something wrong as we were texting after work (I had taken a vacation day - she was on the train). I asked her what it was and she told me she thought we should go back to being just friends - that the guilt of lying to her mother was really getting to her. I couldn't think of anything to say...I just said OK but are you sure? She said yes and that she still loved me and was very sorry.

I said "Ok...I am sorry too...goodbye". She sent me another text asking me if we weren't going to still be friends. I told her "I have just been dumped - I think I need some time". She said ok. Well I went 36 hours with NC ... but this morning I sent her a text thinking that maybe she had changed her mind (I know - stupid). I think we all know she hadn't.

I am just sick to think that with her taking a break for the Summer from college (she works full time also - at the same company as I do), we had planned on being able to spend more time together. So after putting up with the lack of time all school year - we break up just when things were supposed to get better.

Is NC still the best thing to do in this situation?

talaniman

Yes you do need to lay off the booze, if it makes you do some dumb stuff. Drunk dialing is as old as the hills, and was stupid even then. Its no smarter with today's technology either.

SarrahMU

we are all weak when it comes to the heart.

jckgdig

Just an update. I woke up feeling more positive today. I remembered she won't be at work today so at least I have one day to get settled back in without dealing with that.

I am also lucky enough to be able to take a different train line downtown, so there will be no chance of running into her there either. I am determined to stick with NC now and hopefully when we are both clear headed we can pick up our friendship again.

My friends are taking me to a White Sox game tonight after work - that is helping too, it reminds me that even if we don't get together again, or even become friends again, that I am not alone and have great people in my life.

talaniman

Enjoy your evening, as a ballgame in Chicago is a great way to spend the evening with friends. Keep with that attitude, and you will do very well with your healing. Don't drink to many high priced beers!

jckgdig

Can a moderator please close this thread. The issue has been resolved.

Thanks everyone for all the great advice

ScottGem

Closed