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What has worked the best for you in terms of getting over your ex?
I know that many of us have been through bad breakups lately and I thought it would help everyone, myself included, to have lots of readily available information, advice, stories, or tips on what things have helped people here to get over their exes all in one post. It could even be printed out and keep it for a quick reference in times when someone is feeling low and tempted to contact their ex.
If you feel that you have made progress in terms of getting over your ex, please post what things you feel have worked or helped you to get to that point.
Thanks everyone! I'm sure we will have some great advice here to help everyone .
DRESSING UP REAL NICE and going out with people who love me. Surround myself with positive people. and Learning to respect and love myself over again one day at a time.
I've got a list of things that I do after any breakup, whether it's a painful one or amicable:
First, give up all alcohol. I enjoy my drinks, and probably drink a touch more than I should, but this helps avoid brooding or escapism.
Second, pack up all of the things that are specific to the relationship in a box and put it all away. I never actually get rid of that stuff, but I don't want it to be handy that soon after the breakup.
Third, I find something new to read... new author, new genre, just something different. If it's warm enough, read outside under a tree.
Fourth, I go out. Even if it's just taking a walk through town, I get out of my ordinary surroundings and get a bit of variety.
Fifth, I take any songs that were significant to the relationship out of my WinAmp playlist for the time being. They come back eventually, but for the time being, it's better not to have them come up at random.
Sixth, consider rearranging furniture, changing the color of the drapes, etc. Cheaper than moving, and I still get a significant change in atmosphere.
Seventh, if available, I drive a different car for a while... memories pile up anywhere you spend much time with somebody, and we all spend a lot of time in the car.
All of this boils down to bucking ones routine and doing something else... a significant part of the pain in any breakup is how much of our normal day had something to do with the person we were seeing.
Location: United Kingdom - usually cold and wet here!
Posts: 1,276
I ditto nosnosna on a lot of the things quoted above..
Keeping busy is very important but also talking it through with friends and family and allowing yourself time to heal..Don't set yourself any time limits for getting over it. Your heart will let you know where you are at.
Time is a big factor but it is absolutely essential to keep out of contact in every way with the ex.
I would say at the beginning I made sure I didn't drink, I got out the house a lot after work - by going to the gym/swimming. I would go there for hours LOL.
I would agree with Geoff about the no contact, I wish I had been a bit more strict with myself. The longest I managed was 3 months.
Plan spa days, holidays, nice baths with some music and bath foam : ) - read books, maybe funny ones : ) - listen to new music, stuff you didn't have before. Take up new hobbies, go for walks, look after animals. Go to the theatre, go to pubs/clubs.
i recently got dumped too, so i can really feel for you! at first i was sad and cried my eyes out. but then my friends took me to the mall for some retail therapy. that really helped me alot. just to go out with my friends and get my mind off of all the bad stuff. also, if you play a sport or even just going to the gym and working out, or maybe go for a swim. i love to run, and since i was so upset, i really pushed myself to do something better than usual. do whatever it is that you truly love to do. but as alot of people have already said, definately stay away from alcohol and drugs. it will only hide the pain for a day or two maybe. GOOD LUCK!
Changing the routine, and getting new people, places, and things in your life . Volunteering is the ultimate get out of me thing to do and works wonders for the ego, and you will meet an altogether different type of person.
When I got the bill from the florist for a dozen red roses and no roses. The roses were for his girlfriend and he had the gall to tell the florist to send me the bill.
I agree with Nosnosna's post - do some creative and different things to get your energies flowing in a different direction. Focus on your positive and accentuate that.
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