If you cheat on your boyfriend/girlfriend and don't tell them, what are the consequences? Can the relationship ever be the same? Will it come out eventually? Can you get away with it? Will it come back on you? I ask because I have a friend who did this, and am curious about what happens if you don't come clean.

Chameleon

I know that if my husband ever cheated on me, i'd want him to come clean with me. Guilt like that festers and will eventually begin to ruin the relationship. My ex cheated on me, and when I found out, I was more hurt about the lies than the actual indiscretion.

N0help4u

I agree with Chameleon and if they don't feel guilty and think nothing of it then most often it becomes a way of life for them which is not fair to the one they are with -at all.

Chameleon

If they don't feel guilt, then they don't really love the other half of the relationship, and just need to get out of it.

s_cianci

Personally I'd advise your friend that the "relationship" is over and to move on. Since (s)he felt the need to cheat there was really nothing there to begin with. And I don't think that "coming clean" or not will change anything.

MasuBhat

there are lot's of consequences. and no the relationship won't be the same again [if you don't tell]

Will it come out eventually?

if you'r lucky enough and yes it may.

Can you get away with it?
NOPE. not for long though

Will it come back on you?

yes. wat goes around will eventually come around.

tell your fren to stop playing hide and seek around..it's life it's reality ..not some game.

wewed100606

I don't really agree with you on this one s_cianci. Relationships overcome cheating all the time, many more than you would think. There isn't just one type of "cheating" or "cheater". Things are done for many reasons and in many different situations. Not saying this by any means excuses the act of cheating, but people make mistakes. It is possible to be happier and stronger after working through a thing like this. The thing is the parties can't hold such a negative mindset about it like yourself :-)

wewed100606

Thanks for an unwarranted reddy dansk...so if you agree with s_cianci on this one you both think that any relationship where someone has cheated should be over?

Well...get ready world cause once this mentality catches on the already ridiculous divorce rate will double again!

Unlike you two I wasn't generalizing every relationship with cheating can be saved. I was just saying they all shouldn't be abandoned simply for the fact that one person cheated.

I understand that no one will forget anything and that it is a tough road, but there are plenty of people on these posts that are a testament to the fact that cheating can be forgiven and a very loving and successfull relationship can ensue.

Don't over generalize with advice, it doesn't do anyone any good!

dansk

Well I think your def right that people can 4give
but I was saying that they wouldn't 4get..cheating
is something that traumatizes a person whether you
think you ignore it or push it aside for the sake of
your relationship.

(and most divorce go on because people cheat
stray and betray )

but I do have my own opinion don't I?
I could disagree with you because no 1 could ever be right since
every situation and everyone differs.

N0help4u

But opinions don't necessarily deserve disagrees because they are each persons perception and how they handle the situation that works best for them. Then it is up to the op to figure what applies and what doesn't for them.

talaniman

I think your right, as its only polite to let people express themselves, and opinions never deserve a reddie in my view, unless the opinion given is dangerous, or outrageous. Just me though.